Coach O has found another Savior for the hair-covered turd that Ole Miss calls a football program.

After the much-hyped Jesus figure known as Brent Schaeffa was proven to be a false prophet, Ogre and Colonel Reb were left sobbing into their Confederate hankerchiefs. “DadgoddamnSchaeffaboylefOleCoachO witabigsmellyshitsammich,” stated the rabidCajun, “Heposedtacomeinhey anbethegoddamnsavior. OOOOOOOOEEEE!! HesucklikaCoachO’s mamaondafirstdate.”

Apparently not Jesus

With the failure of his prized recruit, Orgeron saw trouble on the horizon, “YaaaaaaaeeeeOleCoachOknewsincedatboyplay soshittywhen heposedtobe2ndcominofJesus, CoachOcouldabeeninlotatrouble. Demderhoitytoityfanswegot mightafinllystopblaming shitondatCoachCutandrealizeImmafraud. HOOWWWWWWWWEEE!! CoachOalmostshithisbreeetches.”

Oregeron was saved from that fate yesterday with news that Texas’ backup Quarterback, Jevan Snead, will be transferring to Oxford in January.

Could he be Jesus?

“When I called Coach (Orgeron) to tell him the news, he was so excited,” Snead said. “He said he and the entire staff was jumping up and down and I started jumping up and down too. I even ripped off my shirt and started screaming ‘Wild Boyz!!’ to show how excited I was.”

When asked why he chose Ole Miss, Snead responded “I love the high energy and the passion the coaching staff has. I was a little creeped out when he ripped off his shirt and started twisting his nipples. I didn’t know any head coach had nipple rings,” Snead said Sunday after returning home from the visit. “But, they have a lot of coaches on their staff that have won national championships so I can handle a little nipple-play.”

Needless to say Orgeron was excited by the news, “YOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEE!! OleCoachOdungothimanoterSavior. WILD BOYZ!! WILD BOYZ!!!!! ”

Coach O celebrates Snead’s committment

When notified of Snead’s decision during a Quarterback’s meeting, Schaeffer responded “Zzzz…huh??…Sorry coach, I was just resting my eyes.”

The Ole Miss baseball team was warned to keep an eye out for Schaeffer and to make sure to keep all of their bats locked up.

Crucifixes with Snead’s likeness will soon be available at the Ole Miss bookstore.