Review of “Bama Profiles in Courage: Laykin”: (Capers) Barr flexes through an emotional range that most writers would never dare attempt … Humor and Bama sorrow are fused together like twined tree trunks that keep each other standing…..It’s part satire, part character study, with a wry lens on fame, fandom, and the modern South. Well done, Capers, well done.”– Ian Allen, The Times Literary Supplement.

source(s) – [sawrs, sohrs] Pronunciation KeyShow IPA Pronunciation noun, verb, sourced, sourcing.

–noun

1. a fictional being or entity, often someone who is claimed to lurk at high school basketball games or work deep inside of the University athletic department. The source is responsible for giving the message board recruiting junkie his fix of top secret information regarding the hottest high school football “studs”. “Sources” are used to project credibility upon the message board poster who likes to pose as a recruiting expert to his message board peers. The source is usually a) false b) second, third, and even fourth hand gossip or c) completely fabricated. All message board recruiting junkies are required by the Patriot Act to claim a source or multiple sources. Failure to report a source will lead to message board shame and sometimes envy. Message board recruiting junkies often fantasize that their source is providing them with secrets that nobody else knows. The junkie reports these secrets in cryptic fashion. Common tactics include the vague reference to big news, followed by the winking emocon. Other junkies give personification to animals or inanimate objects. For instance, a little bird. The most common tactic used by the junkie is to state a prediction as fact, base it on a fabricated source, and then add the grinning emoticon to portray the delusion that the junkie knows something that the others do not. In drastic cases, the source can become the object of fantasy or desire. Though fabricated, the imaginary source (through promises of studs and stars) can replace soocial interaction and companionship with the opposite sex. Scientists in Perth, Australia have concluded that the source is responsible for longer erections than either Cialis or Viagra and can actually cause heart palpitations in older men with jock sniffing tendencies. Bitch.
2. the beginning or place of origin of a stream or river.
3. a book, statement, person, etc., supplying information.
4. the person or business making interest or dividend payments.
5. a manufacturer or supplier.
6. Archaic. a natural spring or fountain.

8 responses to “Recruiting Junkie Glossary Word of the Day: Source”

  1. BELLY TIME!!!

  2. What I want to know is how your attention span allowed you enough time to write this?

  3. Shit like THIS is better than an episode of 24.

    “i had a source that works at the tuscaloosa sheraton tell me that joe mcknight was on the list of recruits sent to him by the university. Great News!!!!!”

    I think we all can tell this is good info. The true sources never use caps.

  4. Stu Scott's wandering left eye Avatar
    Stu Scott’s wandering left eye

    Listen up Bammers, what i am about to say has nothing to with Bama

  5. Stu Scott's wandering left eye Avatar
    Stu Scott’s wandering left eye

    I find it ironic that EDSBS, a Florida Blog, is busting on football players getting caught with dope.

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