Review of “Bama Profiles in Courage: Laykin”: (Capers) Barr flexes through an emotional range that most writers would never dare attempt … Humor and Bama sorrow are fused together like twined tree trunks that keep each other standing…..It’s part satire, part character study, with a wry lens on fame, fandom, and the modern South. Well done, Capers, well done.”– Ian Allen, The Times Literary Supplement.

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And today’s random act of violence…. the New York Islanders’ Chris Simon whacks Rangers forward Ryan Hollweg in the face with his stick in retaliation to what appeared to be a fairly clean hit.

All day the Worldwide Leaders’ talking heads (especially The Great Mullet, Barry Melrose) will be speculating on what punishment the NHL should dish out for this act of goonery.

Not to sound too much like Wilbon but Simon should be punished “to the full extent of the law.” Kick him out. This guy is a thug, he’s a goon and he has no place in today’s NHL. Show him the door. This is the ugliest incident I’ve ever seen on a rink. This is worse than Todd Bertuzzi, this is worse than Mary McSorley.

What the NHL needs to be distinctly aware of is that next time it might not be Ryan Hollweg, who has 2 points to his name this season. It might be Sid the Kid or Ovechkin or Malkin or Eric Staal or one of the league’s young stars. The league needs to send a very clear, very succinct message… if you’re going to hit people in the face with your stick.. there’s the door. Get out.

What I think makes this whole incident worse for me is the complete and almost disturbing lack of remorse that Simon had in the moments after he whacked someone in the face with his stick and even in the post-game interview.

Simon’s demeanor after the game was so cold, I have no choice but to assume that he may very well be the Zodiac.

**UPDATE** The NHL has announced that Simon will be suspended, without pay, indefinitely until a hearing about the incident. No date has been set for that hearing.

Here’s what sportswriters around the country are saying about the whack:

Beau Dure – USAToday

John Dellapina – New York Daily News

Larry Brooks – New York Post

[patrickdonohue.wordpress.com]

6 responses to “The People v. Chris Simon”

  1. stu scott's lazy eye Avatar
    stu scott’s lazy eye

    We like violent and ugly. I ruined sportscenter, remember?

  2. You do a good job, n00b.

    But not as good a job as Jon does at quarterback.

    Crompton Power!!

  3. I bet my life savings (all $375) that he was the guy that beat Noah with the ugly stick.

    But seriuosly, he needs to be gone.

  4. David Crompton Avatar
    David Crompton

    You fucks are some serious shit. Please safeguard those kidneys

  5. If he whacked Noah like that, Noah would look better.

  6. Tyrone Prothro's floppy get-a-way stick Avatar
    Tyrone Prothro’s floppy get-a-way stick

    #3 That my friend, is funny shit. The difference is Dave Simon didn’t stop after one swing on Noah, he beat him without mercy for days.

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