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The Lonely Unlit Couch

I should let you know that my neighbors put a ratty old couch out by the road hoping someone will just take it away…I drive by it every day coming home and it breaks my heart…no one to love it, no one to light it. Speaking of love, when will you SEC homers realize that…

AngryEer
1–2 minutes

I should let you know that my neighbors put a ratty old couch out by the road hoping someone will just take it away…I drive by it every day coming home and it breaks my heart…no one to love it, no one to light it.

Speaking of love, when will you SEC homers realize that your conference is on the decline? Here is a message board link from the greatest website on the internet: we must ignite this couch, these fellas are true believers like myself. While many of you believe that I am fanatical in my love for the Eers, I am but a mere “cherry” compared to these true believers. Read what these hardcore warriors are saying about SEC football [idiot sec fans]. It is my longterm goal to engage in meaningful dialogue with true Eer fans like this someday.

Back to the lonely couch, it just needs to feel the warmth of a good win. But unfortunately there’s not a game on the schedule worth a couch burning this year… that is until my Eers win the National Championship game. And when we win that game I’ll burn my own couch! High 5s all around!!!

Just today, with the sky a shade of blue, I felt my camera’s sphincter shutter opening and closing too fast as I stared at that old warrior-couch that was just waiting for immolation. Maybe I should just hope that a random cigarette finds its way to that lonely couch, to give it a dignified passing, and to get us started for this season.

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46 responses to “The Lonely Unlit Couch”

  1. WVU Hero Avatar
    WVU Hero

    This is your best post ever Angry. It shows the human side of the Big East. I wanted to weep but ended up pissing my pants.

  2. Eer Honey Avatar
    Eer Honey

    I see why you consider yourself to be married to WVU football. It is refeshing, like Fresca, to see a fan of such a masculine school like WVU express themselves in such a manner.

  3. bigfootfool Avatar
    bigfootfool

    The SEC fans trashtalk Big Least homers (everyone’s a homer – give me a break) because the Big East fans (read inbred West Virginians) trashtalk the SEC.

    Where’s the proof that West Virginia can hang in the SEC? When was the last time an SEC lost to South Florida at home? I’ll tell you what if South Florida goes into Auburn this year and beats them, then I will say West Virginia is as good as Auburn…

    I’ll really get down and tell you why West Virginia and the Big East (and Arkansas) can’t really compete in the SEC. While the first teamers can even be as good or better in a lot of cases on Defense and on Offense. The powerhouses of the SEC have DEPTH!
    Good luck with that Couch Burning though.

  4. GATA Avatar
    GATA

    5-0 in Bowls
    BE Champ spanks SEC Champ

    Nuff said Homer

  5. T-KGB -- (Taurean "Killer" Green "Buds") Avatar
    T-KGB — (Taurean “Killer” Green “Buds”)

    First of all, you toothless butt fuckers don’t have the exclusive rights to burning couches — shit, when UCLA made it to the final four the last two years there were leather sectionals ablaze everywhere in Westwood. Also, when they won their lone football title back in the ’60s, they were setting husband beds ablaze all over the city. Weren’t you guys still part of the Confederacy back then? And, just for reference, that blog you linked to is an abortion. Football fans that have lime green and yellow animated avatars should be stabbed in the throat with a letter opener. However, I was impressed by the rampant use of commas — and I even saw one semi colon in full use — though Microsoft Word probably automatically put that one there. You guys are really getting that reading and writing thing down.

  6. meanbutnotgreen Avatar
    meanbutnotgreen

    T-KGB is queer and thank God not near.

  7. Tbone61 Avatar
    Tbone61

    Wow, what hate,I think that the guy was more worried about “capturing” the emotions of the moment. Not commas.

  8. Jmuthaf'nT Avatar
    Jmuthaf’nT

    That picture does WV’ian males no favors in the views expressed by those outside the state. If WVU were to go undefeated and all 3 top teams lost one game, what are the chances that WV gets in the MNC?

  9. Tbone61 Avatar
    Tbone61

    Eers are in. The scenario of one loss is incrompehensible

  10. Herdbone Avatar
    Herdbone

    This brings a tear to my eye and I love everything about this post. Please give us more. Best of everything.

  11. OH HERD CR Avatar
    OH HERD CR

    I wish I had a writer like yourself at GOHERD board. The mountaineers are so lucky to have an inspired writer as a fan. Why will nobody help me at goherd.com?

  12. T-KGB -- (Taurean "Killer" Green "Buds") Avatar
    T-KGB — (Taurean “Killer” Green “Buds”)

    “T-KGB is queer and thank God not near.” Wow. That was a good one.

  13. HerdBone Avatar
    HerdBone

    I love this board!

  14. OH HERD CR Avatar
    OH HERD CR

    Keep writing and please tell us more!

  15. Thomas the terrible Avatar
    Thomas the terrible

    Here’s a question I have for the West Virginia Huckleberry hill billy fucktards:

    If West Virginia is so tough then why in 04/06 you sent a spy (a very poor one at that) to take notes on Marshall’s practice? Of course that fucktard was caught. It’s Marshall for God’s sake! Why would you need to be worried about them? Or maybe the your coach “Dirty Sanchez” Rich Rodriguez was a little worried, because he realizes your football team, conference & schedules are like a ex-hookers. You meet them, think they’re pretty find out more about they’re past and then you realized all you have beneath the surface is a fragile used fucktoy that EVERYONE has easily nailed.

    http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/cheat/news/story?id=2947539

    the link

  16. Tbone61 Avatar
    Tbone61

    “T-KGB is queer and thank God not near.” I wish that he had tied “Eer” into that.

  17. bigfootfool Avatar
    bigfootfool

    38-35 over Georgia in ’05 season. That’s not spanking.

    5-0 in bowl games in which you beat the 2 ACC teams, Big 12, Conference USA, and a MAC team. You keep saying 5-0 in bowl games last season, but you always seem to forget seasons before like 1-3, 1-3, 0-2.

    SEC goes 6-3 in bowls. Losses came to 2 Big 10 teams and a Big 12.

    Wins over Big 10, Big 12, 2 ACC teams, Notre Dame, and C-USA.

  18. GATA Avatar
    GATA

    Did I mention that the BE has a winning record against the SEC?????

  19. Herdbone Avatar
    Herdbone

    THIS IS SERIOUS!

  20. OH HERD CR Avatar
    OH HERD CR

    I think I may be in love!

  21. Thomas the terrible Avatar
    Thomas the terrible

    Nice point Big Foot also I wonder if the Big Least homers realize that their conferences all time bowl record winning percentage is 47% and they’ve only been to 100 bowls. However the SEC has been to 352 bowl games and has a winning percentage of 52%.

    Gata what is the Big Least record vs. the SEC excluding Miami and Virginia Tech?

  22. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    You need to subtract BC from the mix. Somewhere on here is a comment that dicusses the records. If I remember correctly BC was the bigger factor

  23. AngryEer Avatar
    AngryEer

    Read it and weep, The SEC is the Big East’s Bitch!!!
    SEC Wins
    2002 Vandy 28-24 Conn.
    2002 Tenn 35-14 Rutgers
    2001 Tenn 33-9 Syracuse
    2002 Auburn 37-34 Syracuse
    2003 Tenn 10-6 Miami

    Big East Wins
    2001 B.C. 20-16 Georgia
    2002 V.Tech 26-8 LSU
    2000 Miami 37-20 Florida
    2002 Miami 26-3 Tenn
    2002 Miami 41-16 Florida
    2003 Miami 38-33 Florida
    2006 W.V. 42-14 Miss. St.
    2005 W.V. 38-35 Georgia
    2000 W.V. 49-38 Miss.
    2001 Syracuse 31-14 Auburn
    2004 Rutgers 37-34 Vandy
    2005 Louisville 59-28 Kentucky
    2006 Louisville 31-24 Kentucky

  24. Thomas the Terrible who is at work and not logged in to Worldpress Avatar
    Thomas the Terrible who is at work and not logged in to Worldpress

    I was talking about all time dipshit. Because I certainly don’t see the USC victory over WVU. And where are the UT victories over Syracuse in 98? Plus Syracuse lost to Florida that same year. Also notice how I said excluding Miami and VT? Can you not read? For the record UT has a winning record against Miami. Which is more WVU can say. 🙂

  25. MouseKatEer Avatar
    MouseKatEer

    Can you imagine what it would be like singing Country Roads after a victory in New Orleans? I do not think there would be a dry eye in the house.

    How bout you?

  26. Jmuthaf'nT Avatar
    Jmuthaf’nT

    you need shoes to enter the superdome, so I don’t think many people would be tearing up

  27. serious Eer Avatar
    serious Eer

    Jmuthaf’nT you are obviously a dullard.

  28. T-KGB -- (Taurean "Killer" Green "Buds") Avatar
    T-KGB — (Taurean “Killer” Green “Buds”)

    Angry — you proved our point. Thanks. Take away VT, MIA and BC and you get shit. That’s what’s left in the big least. If the country was a chicken, the big east would be the butthole. And, your “victories” excluding the aforementioned teams have come over KY, Vandy, Miss, Miss. St. and the newest bottom feeder, GA. Wow, the true powers of our conference. So, with the big east as it stands now, how many titles over the past decade? Shit, how about since the Hoover Administration? Give me my trophies.

  29. LL Avatar
    LL

    Exactly, T-KGB.

    Before Miami, VT, and BC left, WVU was a 4th place/8-3/7-4 team at best every year.

    Hell, if WVU was so “good”, how come the ACC didn’t want them to join?

    Then, a Conference USA team (Louisville) comes over to the Big East and starts challenging WVU every year. WTF?

  30. Thomas the terrible Avatar
    Thomas the terrible

    http://ymswwc.wordpress.com/2007/08/04/this-is-west-virginia-football-or-15-reasons-on-why-to-not-become-a-west-virginia-fan/

    Really says it all.

  31. Larry Munson Avatar
    Larry Munson

    The ACC was afraid of the ass-whippings the Eers would apply. That is why they did not invite WVU

  32. Thomas the terrible Avatar
    Thomas the terrible

    No the ACC at the time already had to many national bottom feeders such as NC, Wake & Duke. They really didn’t want or need anymore. So they went after quality teams. You know the kind that played for and won national titles.

  33. AngryEer Avatar
    AngryEer

    Like we will be playing for this year?

  34. Thomas the terrible Avatar
    Thomas the terrible

    If…and that’s a huge if…WVU plays for a championship…it will probably be another embarrassment like when WVU played Notre Dame…Holtz has his only title thanks to them and of course (Not So) Major Harris.

  35. bigfootfool Avatar
    bigfootfool

    The cream of the Big East is in the ACC now… and they gave up the championship… to Wake. Even if the Big East was great in the past, we are discussing here and now.

    Preseason bitching is so much fun… why don’t we just prove it on the field… WVU will beat Miss St. and say that the Big East is SO much better than the SEC and then Auburn will beat South Florida and it won’t be any big deal.

    People will start drinking the Big East Kool-Aid and they will play an undefeated Boise St. in the BCS when no team from the SEC or Pac-10 makes it out without a loss.(ok so that’s a lie, but it would be really funny)

  36. AngryEer Avatar
    AngryEer

    Major Harris is a God

  37. Taco Bell Soft Tacos Avatar
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos

    Major Harris was John Denver’s gay lover.

  38. letsplaytummysticks Avatar
    letsplaytummysticks

    I understand the argument of VT and Miami leaving the Big East creating a power vacuum, however, BC shouldn’t really enter the equation. In the 12 years of full Big East membership BC never finished higher than third. The average finish for BC was 4.4 out of 8.

    Also, in the final two years of the original Big East the finishes were Miami first, tied for first; WVU second, tied for first; VT fourth, fourth; and BC fourth, fifth.

  39. bigfootfool Avatar
    bigfootfool

    well and the fact that the Big East does still have some solid teams after those teams leaving is impressive.

    But there are solid teams that are perrennial mid packers in the SEC, Arkansas as an example.

  40. Thomas the terrible Avatar
    Thomas the terrible

    Just how solid would the Big Least without Louisville, a conference USA original?

  41. letsplaytummysticks Avatar
    letsplaytummysticks

    Due to only having 8 teams in the conference I think the Big East would be in serious trouble without Louisville. The conference has to be strong at the top due to a lack of depth with fewer teams than other BCS conferences. If 1/3 of a conference is elite, 1/3 is competetive, and 1/3 are bottom feeders there will be more elite and competitive teams in other conferences (teams with 11 to 7 or 8 wins). That was a problem in the old Big East and still is now due to the conference originating and still operating as a basketball conference first.

    However, this is not our father’s Louisville Thomas. They may have been a CUSA original, but their athletic department expenditures have grown exponentially in the last few years (from $15 million to $45 million annually).

    http://www.bigeast.org/genrel/061207aab.html

    Their annual athletic department budget puts them on par with or over Arkansas, Auburn, Georgia, Ole Miss, Miss. State, South Carolina, Kentucky, and I would guess Vanderbilt.

    http://www2.indystar.com/NCAA_financial_reports/expense_stat/show?school_id=64

  42. Thomas the terrible Avatar
    Thomas the terrible

    Ok first off all I was stating that the Big East would be suffering a great deal if it wasn’t for the fact of Louisville joining when they did. In other words Louisville can be considered the savior of the Big East. Keeping this to football only I broke down the expenses vs. revenue (profit) of the schools you listed except Vandy that info wasn’t there. Awesome link by the way.

    Total operating football costs for Louisville was $8,988,147
    Profit generated was $2,048,120

    Arkansas
    Operating costs $12,474,166
    Profit $16,088,700

    Auburn
    Operating Costs $16,379,077
    Profit $24,184,850

    Georgia
    Operating Cost $12,532,495
    Profit $38,363,343

    Ole Miss
    Operating Costs $7,264,838 (no wonder they suck)
    Profit $8,693,607

    Miss State (another bottom feeder BE fans love to brag about beating)
    Operating Costs $7,097,439
    Profit $2,694,966

    USC
    Operating Costs $10,331,418 The school Spurrier wants to dumb down
    Profit $7,120,545

    UK
    Operating costs $7,812,126
    Profit $12,161,465

    For shits & giggles

    WVU
    Operating Costs $11,328,836
    Profit $5,842,109

  43. letsplaytummysticks Avatar
    letsplaytummysticks

    I couldn’t find a link for this last year. Lousville increased spending another $10 million last year overall within the athletic department so I’m pretty sure the football spending was increased as well. Since the Big East just signed new t.v. deals with increased payouts, Louisville has Gator/Orange Bowls in the last two years, and multiple sell-outs during the football season the profit had to increase as well.

    As for Louisville as a savior. The Big East would be dead as a football conference if it didn’t get three achools to join when they did. It wasn’t just Louisville (and even if one considers Louisville a “savior” they certainly don’t spend like the average CUSA team anymore so it wasn’t a typical mid-major as a savior). The Big East was down to 5 football teams after the raid. The fact Louisville entered the Big East peaking as a program helped out considerably for league exposure and creating rivalries within the conference. But, overall it doesn’t really matter b/c as long as the Big East stays at 8 teams and stays basketball first the conference will be in danger of another raid and starting over every decade.

  44. Charlie Strong Avatar
    Charlie Strong

    We lost money when we won the NC. We just are not that smart

  45. gatorhippy Avatar
    gatorhippy

    And exactly what does all this have to do with hillbillies burnin’ couches?

  46. letsplaytummysticks Avatar
    letsplaytummysticks

    Absolutely nothing. If you’d like to go back to senseless rhetoric instead of actual conversation just let me know and I’ll stop.

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