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Arkansas has not been previewed so much as assigned a role. The Hogs are apparently there Saturday to provide George MacIntyre a confidence-building exercise, DeSean Bishop a runway, and Old Coach U another standing ovation.
Old Coach was still talking like a man previewing an SEC game, not hosting a revival. Attack the edges. Make Arkansas defend in space. Let Bishop punish them outside. Take a shot or two at that “less than athletic Hog secondary.” Pressure their quarterback, rally to the big back, and, for the love of civilization, let the offensive line use Saturday to remember what confidence feels like. “This should be a game the OL can gain some confidence,” he wrote. Then he gave the score:
“Vols 30-13.”
That is not a massacre. That’s a responsible belt-2-ass mercy spank.
What the board heard was 59-3.
jpboehms thanked Old Coach for his “intimate knowledge of the game and its intricacies.” JustAVolFan figured Tennessee could force Arkansas to run and let the defensive line “pin their ears back.” SCVolFan watched G-Mac’s ten throws against Auburn, the crisp blocking and Bishop running wild and decided, “I think this might just be the week.”
JasonVols22: “So if Arkansas can’t run and we make them run does that mean we stopped the run or they just still can’t run?”
By the next morning, “might” had been removed from the building.
Volistic: “Too late, already put the rent on GMac throwing for 450 and 5 TDs.”
Eyes4Vols: “I have a spare Bedroom.”
There is your Arkansas preview.
Vfltexas added, “If we don’t run it 45+ times something went wrong.”
PinhotiVol, the veteran VolQuest board enforcer, arrived with his trademark E-Power T 2×4. Last week he was breaking e-noggins over G-Mac revisionism. This week the lumber is for anyone suggesting Arkansas might have a pulse. The board has enforceable standards now.
Arkansas has now been downgraded from SEC road opponent to developmental scrimmage. The Hogs are a tackling sled with a live mascot. G-Mac gets his confidence. The line gets its confidence. Bishop gets 45 carries’ worth of open road. Tennessee apparently fixes every remaining problem before dinner.
Meanwhile, the Old Coach cult continues to spread. “Great post.” “Great post! As usual.” “Thank you. I love reading your posts.”
Every compliment is another tiny notification in LWSVol’s private hell. Somewhere in the board’s back channels, he is opening a fresh document titled WHY I HAVE ALSO BEEN SAYING THIS SINCE 2009 and adding footnotes.
Old Coach is somehow still talking about Arkansas like Arkansas might actively participate. He sees a physical back, a partial road crowd, a passing game capable of making plays and a Vol offensive line that still has work to do.
Everyone else has moved on to deciding which quarter G-Mac reaches 400 yards.
One administrative problem remains: Arkansas is still allowed to play.
The board has already booked 450 passing yards, 45 rushing attempts, a 17-point win and a spare bedroom for the man who bet the rent.
The game hasn’t kicked off yet, and the board is already fighting over who gets credit for the win.
Source note
The material here is drawn from real Tennessee message boards.
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