3-minute read

Alabama hasn’t arrived in Knoxville. The referees haven’t picked up their whistles. But Tennessee’s message boards have already awarded Greg Sankey the game, predicted a slaughter, and located a brick.

mtvols opened Alabama week with a stark warning: “We will have to beat a mad Bama team & Sankeys Refs Saturday.” Alabama, he explained, would be furious after losing to Georgia. The SEC couldn’t possibly allow consecutive Bama losses.

OffsetEye had the officiating perks on a rotation: “UGaY got all of the calls that Bama used to get, Bama was bout to get right in Neyland.” Even the cheating gets a bye week.

As mtvols tells it, Sankey runs his corrupt operation out of Birmingham and somehow copied him on the email.

NeylandNoise placed crooked officials eighth and ninth on his list of concerns. Seven other catastrophes apparently outrank the conspiracy.

Then a separate thread appeared: “Do you believe we will be cheated.” HuepelmyLord was sure the SEC would be in “panic mode” to keep Alabama’s playoff hopes alive. He predicted “SEC officiating power” on full display in Neyland, then suggested fans “pepper the refs and the field like 2021 ole miss.” His final instruction: “Aim for the head gents.”

Before anybody had thrown a flag, the discussion had reached its throwing-things phase.

District Vol argued the referees wouldn’t be the only reason Tennessee loses. SvnaVol wanted the offense to score more than 17 points before blaming the crew. MicahBennett took a more spirited view: “You guys don’t know how to fan. Have some stones. 25% to win is more than enough.”

0_J-ROB-J still expected Tennessee to overcome “two opponents Saturday.” RockyTopRowdy58 called this “not debatable at all,” having apparently seen enough SEC favoritism toward Alabama and Georgia to cover games not yet played.

Brandon_SV tried arithmetic. If Alabama could make the playoff even with a loss, wouldn’t the SEC benefit from Tennessee winning too? He’s made 35,000 posts. The board gave him the customary reply: “STFU newb.” Loyalvol4life offered an uglier possibility: “We’re simply not as good as they are.”

Nobody thanked either of them.

Elsewhere, the pregame surrender was running way ahead of schedule. BigOrangeJr declared, “If Bama plays good, we are getting killed.” Luther Johnson improved on that: “Our offense is the worst in the sec. Bama can name the score next weekend.” He eventually settled on roughly 40–14.

RowdyVol called him soft. Jersey Vol was more precise: “You are soft, but it’s just one of what are probably many symptoms.”

NashVol98 suggested forfeiting, then thanked the Lord that the surrender crowd wasn’t responsible for defending the country. Dezyvol took the comparison a step further: “Unfortunately, in your analogy, we’re France.” In the other thread, NashVol98 counted plenty of tin-foil hats. OakVol had a diagnosis for the doubters: “Take your foil hat off you liberal.” The SEC conspiracy apparently has a party affiliation.

GoVols14 was already cataloging the chokeholds and chop blocks Alabama’s offensive line would get away with. George Cafego reminded him, “Your referee mantra had started before the game has even begun. Lord Save us!”

And then TNmavol posted a photograph of a block labeled “BAD CALL BRICK,” followed by: “I am ready.. Ma.”

Saturday is still coming. The brick is already dressed.

These are real public discussions held by real Tennessee fans.