Tennessee beat Alabama 26–10. Half the Vols fan base is calculating the route to Atlanta. The other half is preparing to be murdered by a three-win South Carolina team.
They remember Columbia 2022.
They remember 63–38. Spencer Rattler throwing six touchdowns. Hendon Hooker on the turf. A playoff season and #1 ranking disappearing under a rooster’s feet.
And they remember the wristbands.
Those goddamned wristbands.
Holly Rowe, normally stationed at the intersection of “What does this win mean for your program?” and “How proud are you of these guys?”, actually delivered something useful in Columbia: a look at South Carolina’s wristbands. Four years later, Tennessee fans are still studying the footage.
THE TWO CONGREGATIONS
The first congregation saw Tennessee put Alabama in a headlock, give it a noogie, and immediately open Trivago to check Atlanta hotel listings. South Carolina is 3–3. Tennessee is 6–1. What could possibly go wrong?
On VolNation, MoCo_Vol went ahead and stamped it: Tennessee 38, South Carolina 9. TN-POSSUM demanded payback for 2022. Somebody ought to create the commemorative T-shirts now.
The second congregation knows exactly what can go wrong. HoleInTheRoof pointed out that Tennessee is heading into its eighth straight game while South Carolina enjoyed a bye. Illinoisvolfan2 was already having flashbacks to 2022. DarkVolder could practically hear Williams-Brice’s rooster and Sandstorm starting up again.
They aren’t discussing a football game. Spencer Rattler is still completing passes in their heads. Four years later, nobody stopped him.
OLD COACH SEES THE TRAP
Over on VolQuest, Old Coach U watched the Alabama game and called Tennessee’s defense one of the best-called and best-executed performances he’d seen in a long coaching life. He loved Mike Matthews sending Bray “Half-Speed” Hubbard into Class B airspace. Coach loved the physicality.
By the fourth quarter, Tennessee’s offensive line had reached into their jocks and pulled out five huge, heavy, hairy, sweat-soaked nutsacks and dragged them across Kane Wommack’s forehead and what was left of Alabama’s defense. Bishop kept running while Wommack looked for a towel (for the ball-sweat) and a defensive adjustment.
Then he delivered the warning: “Now, this team has to stay razor focused as they now become the hunted and not the hunter.”
He had barely finished celebrating the Alabama beating before the nerves kicked in, sending him elbow-deep into a sleeve of Ritz crackers. Comfort food for a man convinced South Carolina was about to ruin his season.
Volholic, who lives in Columbia, has his own practical concern. Lose to the Gamecocks, and he has to hear about it for another year. A man can leave Williams-Brice. He cannot leave his neighbors.
THE WRISTBAND SECURITY DETAIL
That brings us to Connor Stalions, who has occupied rent-free space in the Tennessee imagination since 2022.
Fans still argue that South Carolina benefited from stolen signals. The alleged connection is disputed; that has not stopped the message boards from turning wristbands into a four-year obsession.
By Wednesday, the Gamecocks’ quarterback will be Patrick Mahomes with Michael Vick’s legs. By Thursday, somebody will discover three offensive-line defects that somehow survived Alabama. By Friday, the team bus will need a dedicated wristband inventory specialist.
In board folklore, Connor Stalions is already hiding behind a trash can in Columbia, making Gamecock wristbands by hand and checking Tennessee’s sideline for fresh material.
THE OLD RECEIPTS
Meanwhile, former VolQuest reporter Rob Lewis found his man on third base: South Carolina coach Shane Beamer. After another Gamecocks collapse, Lewis called Beamer a “born on third base and thought he hit a triple” slap-dick, then laughed about his $28 million buyout. On October 3, he suggested he could repost the same jab all season. Everybody can enjoy the Beamer circus—right up until South Carolina decides Tennessee’s visit is the one afternoon it remembers how to play football.
The players have to prepare for LaNorris Sellers. The fans have to prepare to survive the comments section.
THE LAST WORD
Tennessee travels to South Carolina on Saturday, October 24. A three-win opponent is waiting in a stadium full of people who remember 2022 differently.
The optimists have packed for Atlanta. The pessimists are checking beneath the hotel beds for Connor Stalions.
Old Coach has one warning: you’re the hunted now.
And somebody, for the love of God, count the wristbands.
Related: Stalions and South Carolina
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