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Review of “Bama Profiles in Courage: Laykin”: (Capers) Barr flexes through an emotional range that most writers would never dare attempt … Humor and Bama sorrow are fused together like twined tree trunks that keep each other standing…..It’s part satire, part character study, with a wry lens on fame, fandom, and the modern South. Well done, Capers, well done.”– Ian Allen, The Times Literary Supplement.

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Guess Who Isn’t the “Program” and here is Why

Despite winning  National Championships in football and basketball, Florida just doesn’t get any respect. Ohio State had the whole Mo Clarett thing going but for some reason it just doesn’t seem that bad anymore.  But Florida, oh Florida, you are really is special in a different way. Why is an SEC Blog advocating a Big…

Capers Barr
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Despite winning  National Championships in football and basketball, Florida just doesn’t get any respect. Ohio State had the whole Mo Clarett thing going but for some reason it just doesn’t seem that bad anymore.  But Florida, oh Florida, you are really is special in a different way.

Why is an SEC Blog advocating a Big Ten school over an SEC School? Conduct a poll, most SEC (Florida fans excluded) fans would rather see Ohio State win this title.

A rogues gallery that includes names like Harvin, Thomas, Moss, Webb, Caldwell, Noah, Powell, McDonald, Crowder, Zook, Pell, and most recently Gresham Jr. and Jon Demps. Guns, marijuana and brawling. Mark it down, Florida the Oklahoma Sooners of this century. Meyer=Switzer.

The Gator fans are easily the worst in the SEC if not the nation.  Known for perfecting the cup/urine on the opposing fans, they possess the arrogance of Notre Dame and the history of Troy State. Yep, they are on top, but look how they got there.

30 responses to “Guess Who Isn’t the “Program” and here is Why”

  1. Cool Hand Mike Avatar
    Cool Hand Mike

    The deciding factor was that OSU paid Greg Oden’s parents 3x more money to play there than Florida paid Lil’ Timmy’s mom and dad for his services. Money talks bullshit runs the marathon.

  2. Gators aren't keeping the Vols down...Cutcliffe is Avatar
    Gators aren’t keeping the Vols down…Cutcliffe is

    Conduct a poll? I’m willing to wager on the results. Vols and some UGA fans are the only ones I know so overly obsessed with UF. Good lord, have some dignity.

  3. Mad Frog Avatar
    Mad Frog

    Money talks bullshit runs the marathon and run-on sentences are a dime a dozen with an SEC education.

  4. Cool Hand Mike Avatar
    Cool Hand Mike

    Actually I went to Brown, dumb fuck. Take an English class and learn what a run on sentence is.

  5. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Sic em Mike. Give me the word and I will ban his yankee ass.

  6. T-KGB -- (Taurean "Killer" Green "Buds") Avatar
    T-KGB — (Taurean “Killer” Green “Buds”)

    Now wait a minute LWS. It’s hard to get a guy riled up at 10 a.m. on a Friday after he’s taken three bong hits, but you managed to do it. I’m a loyal lover of the SIG (Sticky Icky Green) and an enthusiastic member of Gator Nation, obviously. I threw that issue of SI away as soon as I saw that collection of man gravy on the cover. That whole article was basically a public stroke-job for one of the most overrated and cocky schools in the country. No fan, even you hated Vols fans, can come even close to the annoyingness and outright Frat guy, chest bumping behavior that Fuckeye Fans demonstrate in sports bars across the country every Saturday during the fall. I hate them all, and I don’t hate anyone. Except Al Sharpton, and Phil Fulmer. And K.C. Clausen, and his little brother, who is making record time shooting up the hate scale. But I digress. While watching the BCS championship game I witnessed a pack of OSU fans patrolling the bar like a group of post-Katrina thugs roaming Bourbon Street. They were bumping into Gator fans and harassing their chicks, mainly because, despite their arm fat, the Gator chicks were far hotter than any of the OSU Bertha’s chilling, err, grazing, in said bar. They were big guys, so most didn’t fuck with them, including my scrawny ass. They basically got a free pass harassing and generally being obnoxious during the entire pre game – with the act reaching a crescendo after Teddy took it home. One of them actually took his keys out of his pocket and shook them — indicating most absurdly, that he felt the game was over. But that all quickly stopped right after what us Gator fans like to call: “The Answer.” After Chris and Co. took it to the house right after that amazing and effortless runback, which came fully equipped with an illegal block on Reggie Nelson, we heard nothing from them, sans the Percy Harvin TD, where he was obviously down before crossing the goal line. They actually left before the game was over. What a bunch of dickholes.

    Now I hate the Vols – like I hate prostate examinations. But I hate you fuckers because I remember being at the Swamp and watching K.C. “Gimme the Pickle — Fivehole” Clausen directing your band as they played Rocky Top while your fucking team did the Charleston on the Glorious Gator painted on mid-field. But I respect Tennessee, you guys beat us bad that day – plus, Lady Vols are super hot, with their little accents and their bouncy pony tails. I had a Vol chick once – she was great – she pulled her own hair! How you can fully hate any school that has trim like that bopping ‘roud campus every day is beyond me? But OSU can eat a dick, straight up. They are a bunch of white doods with dirty fingernails who wear visors at night and get boozed up on Heineken and think because they can bench their girlfriend’s weight, they’re men. Fuck them, fuck their program and I hope we get them in the Tourney — so we can rape them like the Gitmo Detainees they are.

    You know all sports media have a hard-on for Big 10 teams. It’s the most overrated conference in the Country year-in and year-out and if ESPN and SI talk about them regularly then you should know its bullshit. Give the Gators their props. We’re badass motherfuckers!

    OK, I’ve lost my high now, time to toke. I’ll check back on Monday, Goddamn we better beat the Wildcats.

    Peace, and I’m out.

    T-KGB

  7. Cool Hand Mike Avatar
    Cool Hand Mike

    Thanks Jai but there’s no need. Damn near a quarter million in scholarships(partially) and student loans(mostly) got me a degree from an Ivy League school. All that allows me to say this: Mad Frog, get back to work. I don’t pay your ass to fuck around on the internet.

  8. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    T_KGB
    SI is so 2006.
    The Buckeye in the middle seems to be taunting Florida with the modified Gator Chomp

  9. Chris Leak's 4.5 40 Avatar
    Chris Leak’s 4.5 40

    Prostate exams are underrated. I enjoy mine

  10. Cool Hand Mike Avatar
    Cool Hand Mike

    You mean 4.7 40 right?

    T_KGB,
    Only 3 hits for your wake and bake? Fucking lightweight!

  11. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    No he bragged about having a 4.5 40 on the Dan Patrick show. I got that on pod cast somewhere on the blog.

  12. T-KGB -- (Taurean "Killer" Green "Buds") Avatar
    T-KGB — (Taurean “Killer” Green “Buds”)

    Cool Hand —

    It’s early, man. gimme a break.

  13. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Gator, YGM

  14. Cool Hand Mike Avatar
    Cool Hand Mike

    Just remember.

    Sure weed kills brain cells but only the weak ones.

  15. Doctor Faustus Avatar
    Doctor Faustus

    T-KGB,

    You must admit that bench-pressing 500 lbs is impressive. You see, all male tOSU students have to be able to do it at least once (in case the girl is on top).

    Great post, BTW.

    doc faustus

  16. osu student Avatar
    osu student

    The title “The Program” might have more to do with the fact that we have the largest and most profitable athletic department in the nation, we have a deep and rich sports history, and that we are the largest university in the nation……rather than any recent games or allegations.

  17. T-KGB -- (Taurean "Killer" Green "Buds") Avatar
    T-KGB — (Taurean “Killer” Green “Buds”)

    OSU Stud-Ant:

    OSU is the largest school in the land — and is the only one in the top 10 with more doods enrolled than chicks. Props for that. And also, the Florida Foundation, which is the private funding arm of the Gators, raised around $1.2 billion in 2005 – they don’t have more recent numbers – which makes me moy sospechoso of our accounting. It must be a front for a drug running biz in Mi-Jammy. That’s excluding all state funds, tuition, grants, etc. That’s just donors — so, either the weed business is really booming among Gator Grads or, Gators put their money where there joints go and donate copious amounts of money to their school. Does OSU have a billion-dollar donor program? Looks like, no. Your beloved alumnae, 115,000 deep, were able to scrape together a whopping $210 million for your cherished school. Wow, impressive. Maybe Buckeye Nation reconsidered their investments in the mighty Buckeyes after watching the Gators dismantle both of their “Top” teams within a month of each other.

    My point Stud-Ant, isn’t that Florida is a better school — its that branding one college “The Program” is like branding one piece of tail: “The Hottest Chick in the World.” It’s impossible, irresponsible and retarded. Now, top 10, that’s more do-able. Some how, Helen Mirren sneaked into my Top 10. How’d that happen? Must be those tits — and that Oscar. That’s one hot geriatric.

    So, how much can you bench, Stud-Ant?

  18. Cool Hand Mike Avatar
    Cool Hand Mike

    More men than women at OSU? This explains the “Go Nuts” screams.

    They need to change the logo from a nut to two crossed swords and four nuts. My guess is that they at least won the mythical national championship this year in “cock fighting”.

    Other little known facts about the “nuts”.

    1.The Ohio buckeye is also known a fetid buckeye or stinking buckeye.

    2. It is one of the first trees to leaf out in the spring and drops its leaves early in the fall. Translation: Looks good in the preseason but falls apart come fall and is dormant by winter.

    I’m here to educate.

  19. T-KGB -- (Taurean "Killer" Green "Buds") Avatar
    T-KGB — (Taurean “Killer” Green “Buds”)

    Cool Hand — you’re alright.

    Crossed swords? Where do you come up with this stuff? That’s utterly unstoppable shit. Big ups.

  20. Cool Hand Mike Avatar
    Cool Hand Mike

    I’m just a stand up comedian with stage fright.

  21. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    You fellers better cool it. I heard that this guy has been on the Blog today
    http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/5931/fbcumorgeronhired117257wu2.jpg

  22. T-KGB -- (Taurean "Killer" Green "Buds") Avatar
    T-KGB — (Taurean “Killer” Green “Buds”)

    He looks like Sloth, from the Goonies, with a bad case of Down Syndrome.

  23. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Restraining orders be damned, he will twist your titty

  24. Tyrone Prothro's floppy get-a-way stick Avatar
    Tyrone Prothro’s floppy get-a-way stick

    T-KGB

    This guy I like.

  25. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Floppy stick,

    I think he is joining us here very soon

  26. LSU used to be good in baseball and basketball also Avatar
    LSU used to be good in baseball and basketball also

    f*ck everybody. “hot boudin cold cus-cus. come on tigers! push, push push!”

    spelling of the ohio can blow it out their ass

  27. AC Slater Avatar
    AC Slater

    eddie george models himself after i. as did most young lads in the 90s. they saw me run all over valley. i had that scholarship offer to cal.i was good, man.

  28. The Ugly stick that let loose on joakim noah Avatar
    The Ugly stick that let loose on joakim noah

    what happened to stu scott’s eye?

  29. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    LSU, you can say the full curse word here, for future reference. If Les Miles can do it on camera, you can do it here too

  30. Ban me so I am never tempted to read this shit again. Avatar
    Ban me so I am never tempted to read this shit again.

    Oh my god.

    I am so glad I stopped by.

    The only school that Mike ever attended was a trade school. Not that there’s anything wrong with that… just don’t be ashamed of your history, buddy. If everyone was a genius, who would pick the vegetables?

    I love your commentary. You’re incredibly insightful. Really.

    Brown? You wouldn’t be hired to wash dishes at Brown. They have standards, buddy.

    Enjoy your future in middle management. Don’t you have a TPS report to file?

    Hugs and Kisses from Providence.

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