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Kirk Herbstreit Tongues Gators Balls

Kirk Herbstreit, you tongue the balls of Gators and Tim Tebow. Not only are the corners of your mouth stained, it looks like you did a dunkaroo because your entire tongue is swollen and red. You picked a quarterback who threw the ball 33 times last year as your pre-season MVP? No one doubts Tebow’s talent…

Capers Barr
2–3 minutes

Kirk Herbstreit, you tongue the balls of Gators and Tim Tebow. Not only are the corners of your mouth stained, it looks like you did a dunkaroo because your entire tongue is swollen and red. You picked a quarterback who threw the ball 33 times last year as your pre-season MVP? No one doubts Tebow’s talent – okay, maybe I do – but pre-season SEC M V P ? ? ? 

I think that what we are seeing is a few marketing based, decisions made at ESPN. What you are seeing from guys like Herbstreit, Mark Schlerath and many others who I used to respect a great deal for quality analysis is that they are migrating their ideas and thoughts to coincide with the company line and policy.  Why do you think that Trev Alberts was “fired”?  Sure he was hugging Georgia’s Davids Pollack and Grennes sweaty balls, but he refused to accept the ESPN party line.   We miss you Trev!

I would argue there are more questions about Tebow than there are answers to warrant such a prediction. Of course he can run, and many think he’s a leader, but I question his ability to throw effectively. But that’s beside the point: SEC MVP? Come on, Herbstreit.

I absolutely don’t think Tebow is one of the “most physically talented player to play in the SEC in a long time”.  He is less of a QB prospect than Stafford, Russell, Manning, Ainge and a lot of guys in terms of passing. In terms of athleticism and speed, he is less of an athlete than Brent “Louisville Slugger” Schaeffer and many others. He is not near, not anywhere in the vicinity of being some sort of once in a lifetime talent. He might develop into a good player, he may prove himself to be worthy of at least some of his accolodes at some point, but he is not that special of a player. He isn’t that fast, doesn’t have that strong or accurate an arm. The best thing he has going for him is his size. He projects to be a fit version of Jared Lorenzen at this point IMO.  I do enjoy the excitement that is the Bow after a successful 2 yard run (to the left, always).

 The funny thing is that UF fans have been waiting for their offense to come back. They know deep down, in places that they don’t like to talk about, that Herban Meyer’s offense hasn’t worked. They have always blamed it on Chris “Scored 8 on the” Wonder-Leak and ‘not fitting the system’. If it doesn’t work now, they will know that Herban’s offense has failed. Being UF, they still may have enough talent to win big, especially if they can keep a strong defense, but Meyer was brought in to bring explosiveness back to the UF offense–it hasn’t happened.

The Tebow reference in this video answers a lot of questions about Herbie’s desire to deliver the Blumpkin…

37 responses to “Kirk Herbstreit Tongues Gators Balls”

  1. jonkoncak Avatar
    jonkoncak

    Yep, ESPN is still luvin’ them some Urban Meyer. Throw in an athletic, apple pie QB and you’ve got yourself a product to sell right there!! The big problem ESPN has though is that CBS is the SEC network. Could you imagine the verbal orgy over Tebow, Meyer, and the gators if SEC was part of the ABC and ESPN family of networks?

    It’s nothing new. ESPN is no different than NASCAR in looking for a young, “gee whiz” talent to help with sales. In depth analysis be damned. If not the Gators this year, it’s USC or Texas or Michigan or Ohio State or Miami or Florida State next year. I have to go back to some lyrics from Ice Cube’s song, True To The Game from the Death Certificate album:
    “On MTV but they don’t care,
    They’ll have a new nigga next year”.

    The difference here is that it’s ESPN and not MTV, but the outlook is the same. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that College Gameday doesn’t go to the week’s biggest game every week. They prefer to, but will toe the family of networks line way before the best match up. What we need is someone to compete with ESPN College Gameday. Fox or CBS could do it with the right crew. It wouldn’t be hard.

    Is there anyone who is impressed with the College Gameday and Gameday Final crew? But yet we all tune in to hear or read what they’re going to say? Fuck ’em. Fuck ’em up against a wall with super glue on their lips.

    They completely dissed the gators and the SEC before the BCS championship game last year claiming that the real MNC game was OSU vs. Michigan and that a rematch would be better than OSU vs. UF. Then, UF goes O-Dogg on OSU and ESPN starts begging for Meyer and Tebow like 1990 teenage girls ogling for Jordan Knight and Joey McIntyre. Bath in it for now UF’ers. You know just as well as the rest of us that Meyer’s offense has not done well and the jury is still out. You and ESPN have way too many hopes hanging on Tebow’s shoulders. Yall are set up to fail and fail hard.

    Other than that, ESPN’s college football coverage is awesome.

  2. Bill Avatar
    Bill

    You are a pos troll. Your utter envy of the Gators is so obvious. You remind me of a jaded ex-lover. Enjoy your spot at the bottom of the proverbial ladder.

  3. percy Avatar
    percy

    totally agree with the concern about the gators offense. there is no way they will be as fast as they used to be with all those heavy championship rings slowing them down.

  4. Bill Avatar
    Bill

    P.S. Is that you in the picture sitting naked at the table? Must be a Georgia fan.

  5. J Ruiz Avatar
    J Ruiz

    You are 1 chromosome away from being half a retard. Did you hybernate all year and forget Urbs won the National Championship last year? Did you forget that he had the Gators prepared to put a SPANKIN on the nation’s supposedly best team? When you learn anything about college football please go ahead and give your opinions, but right now, go ahead and chew on a bone and watch the Gators with Tim Tebow, Percy Harvin, Bubba Caldwell, and the rest of the 07-08 Gators destroy the SEC next year. Must suck to always look up and see Gators balls on your head because no matter who you are or what school you follow, EVERYONE is beneath THE University of Florida right now. We’re not concieted, we’re just better than you.

  6. jonkoncak Avatar
    jonkoncak

    Yeah, the rings, the dime bags, bongs, and automatic weapons do make it difficult to get up and down the field. How the choir boy Tebow fits in with those criminals is a wonder, but all that stuff goes out the window once the whistle is blown. Or when they get suspended for the game of their choice.

  7. jonkoncak Avatar
    jonkoncak

    Uh oh!!!! Look out!!!! There’s some pissed off Gator fans!!!

    Oh, no wonder these gator fans have shown up. It’s the 15th and their gov’t checks came in the mail today. They were able to get their phone bill paid and the “enternit wurkin”.

    1st and 15th- Buy meth, Pay phone bill, buy gas station gator hat, search the “enternit”. What more could a gator fan ask for??

    This is T-ball.

  8. LL Avatar
    LL

    Agreed, Percy. Also, how soon we forget that everyone said that Urban’s spread would NEVER work in the SEC. Just this spring, Saban hired Applewhite to install it at Bama and Miles hired Gary Crowton to do the same at LSU. Interesting.

    Tebow didn’t pass much last year because he didn’t have to. That wasn’t his “role” in the offense.

    Tebow owns the Florida state prep football records for total offense (12,960), CAREER PASSING YARDS (9,940), touchdowns (159) and COMPLETED PASSES (631)…Also owns single-season state records in total offense (5,552), PASSING YARDS (4,286), TOUCHDOWN PASSES (46) and total touchdowns (70).

    So unless he forgot how to throw a football over the past year because he didn’t do it that much, the Gators should be OK. Do a little research next time before letting your hate for everything Orange and Blue take over.

  9. Steve Spurrier Avatar
    Steve Spurrier

    Tell Coach Meyer and Tebow that we’re going to whip their ass in Columbia this year. Then I’m going to come down their and piss on Meyer’s desk. That’s my desk.

    I’m Steve Spurrier, bitch!!

  10. G8R3_16 Avatar
    G8R3_16

    Please act like you have some class Gators. Geez this is embarrassing

    http://loserwithsocks.wordpress.com/2007/06/15/2007-bronco-nagurski-list-announced/

  11. GatorsWearJeanShorts Avatar
    GatorsWearJeanShorts

    jonkocksuckcat I agee with you, Timn Tebow is flaming geigh.

  12. wgator40 Avatar
    wgator40

    you might be retarded, which would be ok cause then you would have an excuse for being so dumb. As it sits you are just another asshat with a keyboard and no actual understanding of the game of football. Fact; last year herbstriet was the first one to say the gators didnt deserve to be in the national championship. espn and abc carry virtually none of the Gators games, so it would do them no good to pump up the gators or their players. If herbie is praiseing Tebow, he is doing it through clenched teeth. Point being, your an idiot and by the end of next season your going to be tounging Tebows balls too, course if you had the opportunity, you would be doing that right now.

  13. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    you fucking trailer trash gators can’t fucking spell worth shit. Most of us don’t speak yoda. You must be smoking weed like the football gators

  14. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Florida = Outlaw Football Program.

    Herban Meyer = Barry Switzer

  15. percy Avatar
    percy

    Good call Jai. Attack grammar when you can’t win on the football field.

  16. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Percy

    Some of the comments are unreadable. I can live with poor grammar.

  17. LL Avatar
    LL

    UF isn’t an outlaw program yet. They’ve got quite a ways to go to get to that 11th arrest in 13 months. The bar has been set high!

  18. jonkoncak Avatar
    jonkoncak

    “Fact; last year herbstriet was the first one to say the gators didnt deserve to be in the national championship. espn and abc carry virtually none of the Gators games, so it would do them no good to pump up the gators or their players. If herbie is praiseing Tebow, he is doing it through clenched teeth.”
    — wgator40

    Yeah, I think I kind of insinuated that earlier. I think its reverse psychology from Herbie. If UF can beat his beloved Suckeyes like a cat verses a Vick pit bull, then he has to pump them up to world beating status. He’s not doing it for UF; he’s doing it to take the focus off of how inferior OSU and the Big 10 are. Think about it, UF got better games from UT, UK, ‘bammer, LSU, UGA, Vandy, South Carolina, FSU, and Arkansas and lost to Auburn. And OSU was #2 in the nation? The best in the Big 10? And all they could do was talk about how UF shouldn’t be there and now they’re kissing their ass?

    One of 2 things; either they (Herbie and the boys) truly believe that a sophomore is the best player in the NFL talent loaded SEC or Herbie’s deflecting attention from that BCS embarrassment by talking the 2007 gators up. I know it seems trivial for anyone to go to that extreme, but it’s not that big a deal for those guys. Their articles are no more than a blog and they can say whatever is on their mind at the time and millions of folks will read it. “Oooohh. Did you see what Herbie said?”

    I respect Tebow for the athlete his is. He played a HS game with a broken leg. Nice. But he hasn’t earned a damn thing yet and he celebrates 2 yard gains way too much. So much, that he’s going to wind up with a late hit that may put him down for a while. There’s one thing the black dudes from the ‘hood and the country don’t like and that’s a cheerleadin’ white boy jumpin up and down like a little league coed soccer player at their demise.

    I wonder who’ll be the first this season to Deebo, Tebow?

    http://djjazzyjen.typepad.com/dj_jazzy_jen/images/deebo_1.jpg

  19. T-KGB -- (Taurean "Killer" Green "Buds") Avatar
    T-KGB — (Taurean “Killer” Green “Buds”)

    Normally — Jon — I’d anal rape you with pro-Gator syntax via this posting like my name was Cleadus and you were one of my daddy’s farm sheep. However, I’m really busy today and I need to stop by my neighbor’s house for a refill of the Sticky — so I’ll make this quick. First of all, I somewhat agree with your first post. It’s quite funny to see all of the talking heads licking our grundle patches now that we got some NC love – ‘cause if you remember like I do, no one gave us a shot before Jan. 6th. And I absolutely agree with you about the jury still being out on the Spread. Listen, I’m a Leak fan – and I never understood how a segment of Gator Nation loved a douche hole like Gorss Rexman and tried to run a class guy like Leak (who played for three different coaches) out of town. Leak did fine — and got a trophy for it. Well done. This year is huge for Urban — winor lose, that O better put some points on the board and better fucking beat Auburn. In danger of sounding like I expect little from this year – I’ll be stoked if we’re playing in the Georgia Dome in December – win or lose – that will be a great season for me.

    OK, no for some business – You’re Gov’t check joke was kinda funny – in a way like Kathy Griffin is kinda hot. Your elementary school playground jokes about Gator fans — including me – are modest at best. I’d kindly have a spelling contest, college football debate, beer chugging race — dick measuring contest – whatever, with a dood sporting an Atlanta Hawks logo as his avatar. These Vols fans are allowed to make fun of us — actually, I look us Gators like we’re black doods rolling in a nice car and Vols fans are Southern cops — it’s their job to fuck with us (especially given the fact that we’ve had an unbelievable run of late). But don’t start making gross generalizations about Gator Nation trying to sound all cute and shit. Sure, some of our Jort-clad necks are idiots – and few of us can actually spell — but don’t go all uppidy and think you’re some fucking rocket surgeon over there. We’ve been badass mutherfuckers over the past two seasons and for many of these kids that are Gator’s fans, making out with their cusing was the score of their life. So imagine what winning three major NCs in less than two years feels like.

    And on another note — I’m with you on heaping too much praise on a kid that has thrown the ball less than LaDainian Tomlinson. And fuck Kirk. The only good thing about CBS’ football coverage is Tracy Wolfson. T-Bone has proven nothing, as of right now. — therefore he has done nothing to earn praise. Kinda like the teams in the Big East (that was for you Jai).

    Peace and I’m out.

  20. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Amazing T-KGB, that was a second or maybe third ” The View” Reference. Rosie and now Kathie Griffen

  21. Taco Bell Soft Tacos Avatar
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos

    “Tebow threw for 1,986,776 yards in HS”

    I don’t give a shit. The SEC is just a little bit different than HS.

  22. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Tebow played nosetackle with a broke-dick

  23. T-KGB -- (Taurean "Killer" Green "Buds") Avatar
    T-KGB — (Taurean “Killer” Green “Buds”)

    Jai — I consider my manhood questioned openly now. Geightor has new meaning for me after dropping twoThe View referrences. My bad.

  24. jonkoncak Avatar
    jonkoncak

    Sweet. I was told this was a place where you needed thick skin and it looks like I broke yours, T-KGB. It only took me, what, 2 weeks. The playground jokes were meant to be that way, childish in a way that the gator nation would get it.

    I mean, c’mon. Who suggests anal rape and having a dick measuring contest? Are you kidding me? I know you may not be aware, but spelling contests end after elementary school or, as is the case in Florida home school programs, the 12th grade.

    Take the time to weed through my bullshit and you’ll see that I agree with you on a lot of this, mutherfucker. Don’t forget to pick up the gov’t peanut butter and cheese today either.

    The hawks avatar is the old logo back when they had a decent squad. It’s not the logo of the current NBA team in Atlanta the Atlanta Pieces-of-shit-traded-Dominique-can’t-make-a-decent-draft-pick-2nd-rate-CBA-team-ass-hats.

  25. jonkoncak Avatar
    jonkoncak

    T-KGB, what’s a rocket surgeon?

    You know how I know you’re gay?
    You mention The View, Kathy Griffin, volunteering for a dick measuring contest, and giving anal rape in an argument.

    I promise you’ll never, ever hear Corso or Herbie use those words on Gameday. Granny Holtz and Mark May might go there.

  26. LL Avatar
    LL

    Taco Bell Soft Tacos:
    Everyone knows the SEC is different than high school. But idiots like you think that Tebow has somehow “forgotten” how to pass because he didn’t do it much last year. Are you really that dumb?

    I mean, I sure am glad we played Percy last year instead of red-shirting him. He might have forgotten how to be fast! Whew! That was a close one!

  27. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Harvin? The one that was banned from VA High School sports? I bet he has not forgotten how to be a thug either. How soon until he gets arrested?

  28. purpleheart Avatar
    purpleheart

    How can so many people think that a sophmore quarterback can be the MVP in the SEC? C’mon gaytor fans, take off the rose colored glasses.

    Herbstreit does absolutely no homework; the guy sucks. Tebow won’t hurt the gators and will have a very sarah jessica john parker wilson like year. Is he going to be better than Andre Woodson ? RUFKM?

  29. Taco Bell Soft Tacos Avatar
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos

    LL, Teblow won’t be the 2007 SEC MVP. Fuck you and your team. Go to the Gainesville Detention Facility and tell them all hi for me.

  30. LL Avatar
    LL

    Taco Bell Soft Tacos:
    Show me where I wrote that Tebow would be the SEC MVP. You can’t, because I didn’t write it. Herbstreit said it, not I. Take it up with him. Also, it’s called “Reading Comprehension”. Look into it, Asshat!

    Go fuck your mother when you finish your shift you backwoods hillbilly!

  31. Taco Bell Soft Tacos Avatar
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos

    Don’t you have to go post bail for one of your players? Just because you made Herbie eat shit once doesn’t mean he is right about your team now. Wasn’t Herbie the same guy who wanted a Michigan team (that got destroyed by USC) to play Ohio State in the BCS CG? His record hasn’t been that good, just like the criminal record of the UF players.

    Its called “marijuana possession laws.” Look into it, Asshat!

  32. LL Avatar
    LL

    Again Fuckstick, show me where in any of my comments that I agree with Herbstreit! He’s a complete douche in my opinion and I don’t agree with his comments. Never did I say he’s right about the Gators or that I agree with him.

    Once more: READING COMPREHENSION!!! Didn’t they teach you that before you dropped out of school in the 6th grade?

    On another note (since you’re jumping all over the place, topic-wise) you’re not going to find me defending ANY UF players who are stupid enough to smoke weed, get arrested, etc. They should be kicked off the team or at the very least suspended 1/2 of the season.

    Go fuck your mother you fuckin’ piece of shit Redneck!

  33. Taco Bell Soft Tacos Avatar
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos

    Or suspended for those important matchups like Western Kentucky, Troy, and Florida Atlantic, right Bull-gator?

    Hypocritical Geightors

  34. LL Avatar
    LL

    No, not right. At which point did you get confused and interpret “1/2 of the season” to mean “Western Kentucky, Troy, and Florida Atlantic”? Fuck, you’re an idiot! Like I said – AND PAY ATTENTION THIS TIME: Kick ’em off of the team or at the very least suspend them 1/2 of the season. How in the fuck is that statement “hypocritical”?!? Do you even know what you’re talking about?

    Maybe you should stick to coloring books for now. Blogs and reading seem to get you all confused.

  35. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    LL,

    I think he is referring to the odd algorithmic formula that Herban used to suspend Thomas for both of his failed piss tests.

    ALA Channing Crowder’s suspension by the Zookster

  36. LL Avatar
    LL

    Jai,

    Unlike some Gator fans, I do not sport the Orange & Blue glasses. I didn’t agree with the timing/method of Thomas’ suspension just like I didn’t agree with Zook’s quirky suspension of Crowder. Urban needs to lay down the law and say that he’s not going to tolerate this shit. Especially since he just got a raise.

  37. jonkoncak Avatar
    jonkoncak

    Me and UF fan friend of mine were talking about Tebow and agreed the hype isn’t warranted. These are his words, “They keep saying that Tebow will run Meyer’s offense better than Leak did. If that’s the case, then he would’ve been the fucking quarterback all last season, instead of Leak.”

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