Loser with Socks

Mountain Damn Values from New Mexico

Review of “Bama Profiles in Courage: Laykin”: (Capers) Barr flexes through an emotional range that most writers would never dare attempt … Humor and Bama sorrow are fused together like twined tree trunks that keep each other standing…..It’s part satire, part character study, with a wry lens on fame, fandom, and the modern South. Well done, Capers, well done.”– Ian Allen, The Times Literary Supplement.

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Tony Joiner. Silly Gator. Freedom is for non-criminals.

  “And they all… Fall…. down” Is it just me or doesn’t it seem that every time one of the Hollywood trifecta starlets of Spears, Lohan, or Hilton gets in trouble an equally stupid gator footballer gets busted for something?  Or is it that they all do something stupid so often that the discretions just run together?  They’re bound…

1–2 minutes

 

“And they all… Fall…. down”

Is it just me or doesn’t it seem that every time one of the Hollywood trifecta starlets of Spears, Lohan, or Hilton gets in trouble an equally stupid gator footballer gets busted for something?  Or is it that they all do something stupid so often that the discretions just run together?  They’re bound to cross paths at some point.

Spears goes from “momma” to “baby’s momma” who can’t brush her kids’ teeth at night and Tony Joiner pulls a stunt like you would expect to see in some Adam Sandler joint about a race across the country to save the family business.  I wonder if Joiner tried the “killer bee” trick from “Tommy Boy” when the cops rolled up?  (The cops don’t arrive at the scene of a crime in Gunsville.  They “roll up”.)

Look for Joiner to sit maybe 2 series this Saturday, but he’ll earn 5 gator helmet stickers for his crime.  3 for the crime and 2 for being a good Samaritan and trying to help his girlfriend out.  And, yes, I am as surprised as you are that he has a girlfriend.  I guess it was a “down low” thing.

 

This is a comment on the report from a law abiding gate:

gggator says:

Thanks Ryan Williams, owner of Watson’s Towing… Thanks a lot… you couldn’t come up with a better solution than charging Joiner with a ridiculous felony (on a $76 dispute)??? Your company has been feasting on dubious towing laws (and Gainesville citizen’s bank accounts) for far too long. The Boston Red Sox have Bill Buckner. The Chicago Cubs have Steve “Foul Ball” Bartman. Now the Florida Gators have Ryan “Barney Fife” Williams. Thanks for screwin’ up the rest of the ’07 season, Barney.

The sweetheart-deal between police departments and towing companies is long-standing embarrassment. You wanna find some REAL felonies? Look into that corrupt relationship!!!

Stay classy Gunsville.  Guess Tebow isn’t such a great influence after all.

http://www.gainesvillesun.com/article/20071002/BREAKING/71002013

59 responses to “Tony Joiner. Silly Gator. Freedom is for non-criminals.”

  1. T-KGB -- (Taurean "Killer" Green "Buds") Avatar
    T-KGB — (Taurean “Killer” Green “Buds”)

    Again — a Gator gets busted for what we’ve all wanted to do but were too pussy. Man, this was the worst weekend ever. Fucking fuck.

  2. jonkoncak Avatar
    jonkoncak

    Wanting to do something and making the choice to do someting is totally different my friend and that’s what separates humans and animals. I want to test drive a Saleen S7 http://www.forbes.com/2002/03/04/0304feat_2.html and never return it, but I won’t do that.

    This is a direct result of the bed Meyer has made with how they handle punishment. This trend will continue.

  3. LL Avatar
    LL

    Speaking of trends continuing………

    UGA: 2-15 vs. UF since 1990.

  4. GADawg Avatar
    GADawg

    #3, Gators very likely have three lossses by the time you get to Jax. It’s gonna suck to be you when you can’t even repeat as East champ. let alone conference champ…

    wait, it already sucks to be you!

  5. Ears Whitworth Avatar
    Ears Whitworth

    L
    O
    L

    I hear the papershredders whirring as the “heart and soul” of the Gator D.

    @3 LL, grow a fucking set of balls and admit that their is a problem. War Eagle!! 20-17 or 23-17 with the other FG added on

  6. Ears Whitworth Avatar
    Ears Whitworth

    Kiss Tebow’s keg

  7. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Posted by a gator after the Brandon James arrest. James bout weed from an undercover cop wearing his game jersey. How gold is that?

    Here is the comment:

    Hopefully Tim Tebow,Tony Joiner, or someone on that team get the team together and remind them about Coach Meyer’s philosophy about living life the right way.

    I’m surprised i have not seen Percy get into any trouble yet, he seems like the type of guy who would get in trouble for this stuff

  8. jonkoncak Avatar
    jonkoncak

    LOL! LOL! LOL!

    Here come the “yeah, but” artists. “Yeah, well, UGA is 2-15, blah, blah, blah”, Felony, again.

    As soon as this report hit the wire “JENGA!!!” was heard all over the Southeast. You’re secondary was already a mess, now your most experienced and best secondary player is trying to bounce cars from Sanford and Son’s lot. This the bed Herban has made.

    Lets see selective discipline this time too. It’s laughable at this point and is a disgrace to college athletics.

  9. Ears Whitworth Avatar
    Ears Whitworth

    Felony

  10. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    So, how did Tebow’s car get impounded anyhow? Parking in a handicapped spot, or driving without sideview mirrors?

  11. jonkoncak Avatar
    jonkoncak

    C’mon, Jai. You know Tebow doesn’t need a car. His holy self floats down streets and walks on water.

    No need for cars when your a godsend.

  12. LL Avatar
    LL

    EARS:

    When did I say there was NOT a problem?! Find the post where I said that there was not a discipline problem in Gainesville. Please, Search the archives and get back to me. You won’t find one because I don’t defend stupidity.

    What Joiner did was stupid. Plain and simple. Idiot. What Brandon James did was stupid. He should have been suspended 3 games IMO. And so on and so on. So fuck off, Ears.

  13. LL Avatar
    LL

    Ears writes: “LL, grow a fucking set of balls and admit that their is a problem. War Eagle!!”

    “their”? Written like a true Auburn fan.

  14. LL Avatar
    LL

    I don’t see what the big deal is. We’ll just plug in Tebow at Safety for the LSU game and be just fine.

    (kidding, kidding)

  15. LL Avatar
    LL

    Oops. Man, Joiner is such a “thug” for doing this shit, right? Looks like you all might have blown your load a little early.

    http://forums.floridatoday.com/viewtopic.php?t=51930&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

  16. Taco Bell Soft Tacos Avatar
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos

    No way Tebow could get in trouble for parking in a handicapped spot, everyone knows the kid is mentally handicapped.

  17. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    http://cigare1.fatcow.com/picture_hosting/web_pages/veedee/lolz/lollerfalls.gif

  18. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    “Gone in 60 Seconds” Joiner

  19. stuart Avatar
    stuart

    LL,

    Correcting your opponent’s grammar in an internet comment slap fight is a weak tactic.

    Stop whining.

    War Eagle Bitch!

  20. hyponymous Avatar
    hyponymous

    @stuart

    Technically, he corrected your orthography. Is that still a weak tactic?

  21. LL Avatar
    LL

    Stuart:

    An Auburn fan or alum misspelling a word is ironic and humorous, don’t you think?

    http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/14/sports/ncaafootball/14auburn.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

  22. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    I should mend his spelling error

  23. Taco Bell Soft Tacos Avatar
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos

    The NYT is Yankee propaganda. Besides, Auburn beat those charges like Rocky.

  24. Jim Avatar
    Jim

    It was a stupid thing for Joiner to do. That said, the burglary charge is absurd. It is at most trespass. The owner is also not pressing charges. Gainesville cops are the worst. Don’t Taze me bro!

  25. stuart Avatar
    stuart

    touche LL, you douche

    also, after reading LL’s link, i am gonna side with joiner as well…he came off really good in that sappy espn piece about the team members playing with the coaches little boys…but damn was it a stupid thing to do when glenn “the creature from the black lagoon” dorsey looms on the horizon

  26. Ears Whitworth Avatar
    Ears Whitworth

    Whirrrrrrrrrrrr, the cross-cut shredders work magic

  27. jonkoncak Avatar
    jonkoncak

    “Oops. Man, Joiner is such a “thug” for doing this shit, right? Looks like you all might have blown your load a little early.”
    -LL

    Did he or did he not try to remove the car from the lot without paying the fine? It doesn’t matter that the lot owner is a UF fan and didn’t want to press charges. Besides once the story broke and he decided not to prosecute, he became the new tenant in a Swamp luxury box. We’re not that stupid.

    Trust us, we know Meyer will not punish him this week. He’ll easily decide to wait until an investigation is complete and they he’ll make him sit out the FIU or Vandy game later this season.

    No worries, gates. This is a non-issue for this week.

  28. P-Funk Avatar
    P-Funk

    You gator hating homo’s are pathetic. You didnt even bother waiting until the additional facts came out. Here’s what the owner of the tow yard had to say…
    http://www.gatorsports.com/article/20071002/NEWS/71002025/1016

  29. Thomas the Terrible Avatar
    Thomas the Terrible

    And yet the owner still tells another story that is different than the one #28 posted. Why is the supposed owner charging the story with every “reporter”?

    http://forums.floridatoday.com/viewtopic.php?t=51930&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

  30. abarclay12 Avatar
    abarclay12

    Joiner is a total hero. The team should all wear an armband with a picture of his girlfriend’s car on it for the game. That would be the right thing to do.

  31. gatorhippy Avatar
    gatorhippy

    More than likely Meyer will institute the new Bobby Bowden policy…

    Joiner will not start but since he wasn’t tased will be allowed to enter on the second series of the game…

    Of course, this won’t matter because all telling sources expect LSU to be ahead 55-0 before the Gators even arrive at the stadium…

  32. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    hilarious. The mainstream national media is playing pile on.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/10/02/AR2007100202047.html?nav=rss_sports

  33. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    It’s like going to breakfast at Cracker Barrel and when you go to leave there’s no one there to take your money,” Forron said. “How long are you going to wait?”

    Joiner was not at practice last night. Coach Urban Meyer stopped short of saying Joiner was suspended for Saturday’s game at top-ranked LSU. . . .

  34. The Bull Gator Illuminati Avatar
    The Bull Gator Illuminati

    A Gator gets arrested, and the witness declines to prosecute or there is a statement like this:

    the owner of the property leased by the towing company, Stan Forron, said yesterday afternoon that the whole thing is “a big misunderstanding.”

    It is always a ‘misunderstanding”. Get it? Now stop publishing shit like this. Our boys are the top 1% of 1%.

  35. Tyrone Prothro's floppy get-a-way stick Avatar
    Tyrone Prothro’s floppy get-a-way stick

    There was no misunderstanding until Bubba the tow trucker realized he called he cops on a robbery being committed by one of his beloved gates.

    Double whammy – Like a fat chick with no tits, this tow truck company may draw the ire of the entire jorts nation for more than just taking there cars hostage…

  36. Ears Whitworth Avatar
    Ears Whitworth

    @35 rumor is that the tow truck driver just scored a full scholarship to UF…..

  37. T-KGB -- (Taurean "Killer" Green "Buds") Avatar
    T-KGB — (Taurean “Killer” Green “Buds”)

    I can take it — we lost. That kicker was clutch and your D was solid. But — all of you shit touchers are amazing. I’ll be serving a fresh batch of crow for all of you fuckstains to eat on Sunday — after we beat LSU. I’m really surprised you guys are pilling on like this and writing us off — you’re all better than that. Well, most of you are. This smells a lot like last year — and I’m sure it still stings for you homers. “Damn, if Auburn could beat anyone else, they might be good.” But you can’t — and the Gates still have a shot at a ring — sounds a lot like last year’s wasted win for you ballbags. You guys beat a #3 team and still are vacant from the Top 25. How bad do you suck? So look at this win in a similar fashion to the way you look at kissing your sister: it might feel good but it’s pointless and going nowhere. Wait, I can hear your responses careening through the Interweb now — “Ohh, you only won last year because you’re felons.” I hate to break it to you bone grabbers, but surfing kiddiepornwithbirthdefects.com is a felony too. So I’ll take buying a fake dime bag, Dorian the Historian’s boot destroying and lifting a car from Bubba over your Saturday night activities. Its still great to be a Florida Gator — and we have the rings to prove it. We’re not felons. We’re just badasses. I know its tough to take — but you better get used to it. Come get some anytime any of you pussies are ready.

  38. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Wow, did you even go to bed last night, TKGB?

  39. T-KGB -- (Taurean "Killer" Green "Buds") Avatar
    T-KGB — (Taurean “Killer” Green “Buds”)

    I’m still in solitary confinement. I get my shoelaces back tomorrow — and “they” said I can eat with a fork again on Friday — with good behavior. I just had to comment — those homers were too much. You guys know better than to write us off too early. Now, if we get drilled Saturday …. I’ll have nothing to say. That loss has to get you guys a little — the Vols are a far better team.

  40. jonkoncak Avatar
    jonkoncak

    By no means do I write the gators off, yet, but you must win this weekend. I just thought it’s interesting to see another gator get arrested, again, and see Coach Meyer not discipline immediately, again. Get used to the arrests. Meyer has created a situation where bad behaviour is tolerated.

    Like I said before, Joiner is safe for this weekend. If he is punished for being a dumbass, it won’t be this weekend. He’ll sit out Vandy or Florida Atlantic as it’ll take that long for the internal “investigation” to be complete.

    This situation is criminal and comical all at once. How can an idiot like that read an offense from the safety position? He’s been a criminal before, so why break the habit? Let me remind you that Odell Thurman kept his nose clean at UGA while he was there. So idiots can go into remission.

    I do wonder, had Tebow been the guy to force open the gate and take the car, would anything have been done? Tebow is recognizeable where Joiner is just another dude with dreads in Gainesville not easily recognized.

    In other words the witness said, “Oh god. There’s a scary looking black guy taking a car from our lot.”

    But if it were Tebow the witness would’ve said, “Oh god. It’s Tebow and he’s using his magical powers to open the gate. It’s the glorious appearing!! Moses parted the waters and Tebow opened the gate!! Why didn’t he take my car?”

    I know you gator fans feel some sort of “redemption” that the gator fan owner doesn’t want to press charges, but the rest of us see right through it.

  41. LL Avatar
    LL

    Well said, T-KGB!

  42. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Is this the Rachels by the airport? Anyone?/

    http://www.wesh.com/news/14254668/detail.html?subid=10100244

  43. AngryEer Avatar
    AngryEer

    stupid gators. Meyer is making a mockery of the SEC.

  44. jonkoncak Avatar
    jonkoncak

    “So look at this win in a similar fashion to the way you look at kissing your sister: it might feel good but it’s pointless and going nowhere.”

    T-KGB

    At no point should kissing your sister ever feel good. It should feel gross before it would ever begin. Just like kissing a man. It is never ever right or should ever “feel good”.

    You gates are a weird bunch and according to the arrest records, you are made up of felons.

    You as an SEC fan should know better than to think that you’re going to have a dynasty. It’s impossible down here. It’s more likely UF loses 3 more games this year than finishes the season with 1 loss.

  45. LL Avatar
    LL

    “It’s more likely UF loses 3 more games this year than finishes the season with 1 loss.”

    Wow! Everyone look out for this guy! He’s on top of things! What a bold statement! Is ESPN hiring?

    Well no fuckin’ shit, asshat! UF lost 9 starters on D, a starting QB and their top 2 receivers. They’re playing Freshman all over the place. You really think that anyone expected them to go 11-1 this year? You’re an idiot.

    Y’all are acting like Awbun beat the living shit out of UF. This is a game that came down to a last second FG to win it.

    Enjoy it while you can because once all that talent gets a little experience, look out! And it may not be a “dynasty”, but Urban is 7-0 over 2+ years against our 3 main rivals. So he has to be doing something right.

  46. AngryEer Avatar
    AngryEer

    I think Auburn should have received credit for both FGs. I can’t understand why you UF people don’t see what a dick that meyer is.

  47. jonkoncak Avatar
    jonkoncak

    Have 2 lortab, LL, and calm your “yeah, but” ass down. My comment was in response to T-KGB saying, “It’s still great to be a Florida Gator — and we have the rings to prove it. We’re not felons. We’re just badasses. I know its tough to take — but you better get used to it.” All that’s missing is a sparkley robe, an inter-continental belt, and flowing blonde hair. http://www.lcshockey.com/content/ricflair.JPG

    In other words, UF is going to own the SEC for years to come. Impossible and laughable. Anyone can see that can’t happen with the coaches we have in the SEC.

    Yes, I stated the obvious and if your dumbass is coming here for expert analysis and predictions you’re dumber than your simplistic handle. “LL”. Can’t spell that one wrong on your most stoned day. Whether you admit it or not, you really did think your gators would go undefeated this year. All of you did.

  48. LL Avatar
    LL

    “Whether you admit it or not, you really did think your gators would go undefeated this year. All of you did.”

    Wrong again, fuckstick. Not one Gator I know thought we would go undefeated this year. What a dumb, dumb statement.

    “……. and if your dumbass is coming here for expert analysis and predictions you’re dumber than your simplistic handle.”

    Putting down my screenname? Damn! Ouch! Cutdown of the year on LWS! You’re smarter than me. “jonkoncak” sounds Polish and is much, much harder to spell. You got me there.

    Trust me, I definitely don’t come here for “expert” analysis.

  49. LL Avatar
    LL

    AngryEer:

    Seriously, how long have you been watching football? A couple of months? Coaches do what Meyer did with the timeout to ice the kicker ALL THE TIME! Fuck you’re an idiot!

  50. jonkoncak Avatar
    jonkoncak

    2 favorite cut-down words: “fuckstick” and “asshat”.

    Plenty of Gator idiots thought you would go undefeated this year. Just because you and your buddies have a shread of sense, doesn’t mean 90% of your internet message board blowhards have a clue. They’re still defending Joiner’s crime.

    “jonkoncak” is “Jon Koncak”. One of the greatest NBA players of all-time. He was the 5th overall pick in the 1985 NBA draft by the Atlanta Hawks. Taken before Chris Mullen, Karl Malone, and Joe Dumars to name a few.

    Anyway, we’ve seem to hit a nerve with you on this one. Not often does “pissed off” makes it’s way through the web, but I can see it in your words.

    I love it.

  51. LL Avatar
    LL

    “Plenty of Gator idiots” – You hit the nail on the head, Man. They’re just that if they think that: idiots. Every fanbase has got ’em. We are not immune.

  52. AngryEer Avatar
    AngryEer

    Dadgum LL, I hope your head doesn’t explode

  53. T-KGB -- (Taurean "Killer" Green "Buds") Avatar
    T-KGB — (Taurean “Killer” Green “Buds”)

    Jon — you’re right about us and you’re right by saying the SEC will never have a team “dominate” for more than two years. What I was implying was that the Gators will be penciled in for a trip to the Dome every year. I didn’t mean to imply we’re going to roll over the SEC — that is, as you said, impossible. But Gainesville will be the first or last step to winning an SEC ring. You don’t beat the Gators, you don’t win. We’re in the drivers seat now in the East — and will be for the foreseeable future.

    Now, as far as all this trash about the team the Urban puts on the field. I’m not sure what kind of pussies you guys are, I’m assuming big ones, but if my car was towed and I could benchpress a parckbench with 12 retards sitting on it, I’d try and get my ride back too. I think Joiner realized what he did – but it was too late so he decided to take his pill — he did wait for the police. Maybe I give a little more slack because I could see myself doing the same thing. I know the lot he was busted at and I swear if I would’ve had a gun the three times my car because the air stem valve on my rear tire was touching the red, I would’ve shot the guy that did it. In the knee, not fatally. I object to you guys labeling us a “rouge” program. It’s pure bullshit — or, honeyfogle if you will. Urban is a stand-up guy. Don’t you think its bullshit to have one of your defensive leaders out because his chick’s car got towed and he tried to get it back? I do. The game should be decided on the field, not through the synapses of a 20-year-old kid.

  54. jonkoncak Avatar
    jonkoncak

    “Now, as far as all this trash about the team the Urban puts on the field. I’m not sure what kind of pussies you guys are, I’m assuming big ones, but if my car was towed and I could benchpress a parckbench with 12 retards sitting on it, I’d try and get my ride back too. I think Joiner realized what he did – but it was too late so he decided to take his pill — he did wait for the police. Maybe I give a little more slack because I could see myself doing the same thing. I know the lot he was busted at and I swear if I would’ve had a gun the three times my car because the air stem valve on my rear tire was touching the red, I would’ve shot the guy that did it. In the knee, not fatally. I object to you guys labeling us a “rouge” program. It’s pure bullshit — or, honeyfogle if you will. Urban is a stand-up guy. Don’t you think its bullshit to have one of your defensive leaders out because his chick’s car got towed and he tried to get it back? I do. The game should be decided on the field, not through the synapses of a 20-year-old kid.”

    If you don’t see how jacked up your take is on this, you’re more lost than I thought.

    Yes, I know that gates would do the same thing Joiner did. That’s what makes yall “gators”. You have “entitlement” issues that make you numb to the real world. Yall don’t wear jorts because your out of style. No, you wear them because you think you can and everyone else should kiss your ass. The problem is that everyone doesn’t kiss your ass and we think you a bunch of egotistical idiots, as a whole, not individually. You show up to impound lots and get what’s yours at 4:30 in the morning.

    Joiner is like Craig from “Friday” getting fired on his day off stealing boxes. “What the f**k you stealin’ boxes fo’? What you trying to build, a clubhouse?”
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaZP7oW6ONU

    He should be suspended, but he won’t be. Not yet. Meyer will come down on him for FAU. But even if he is out, does it matter, gates? I mean yall have more depth than the Mariana Trench right? Just plug and play some freshman that’ll do a better job. What’s the big fuss?

  55. LL Avatar
    LL

    At this point, just suspend Joiner, plug Tebow in at Safety, and let him get 3 INTs. Game over.

  56. LL Avatar
    LL

    I’m kidding, btw.

  57. jonkoncak Avatar
    jonkoncak

    We know, but you do realize the WWE gator fan base does see that as a viable option?

  58. LL Avatar
    LL

    Yes I do, Jon. And as I mentioned earlier, those people are idiots. And a very small part of the fanbase

    Contrary to popular belief, it’s not really the Gator fans hyping Tebow up. For example, in Week 2, Rece Davis referred to him as “Superman” on ESPN. We have nothing to do with that.

  59. Taco Bell Soft Tacos Avatar
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos

    I would normally say fuck Rece because he is a bammer but he is the lone SEC homer at the WWL.

    That was just Rece reppin’ his ‘hood, you know what I’m sayin’?

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