Last year we ranked the best of the best of the America’s Dong Gator Criminals [Gates Ballin’].  This is ranking the thugs of Herban’s era.  Only the top 5 thugs, there are more,  only the top 1% of 1% of criminals and the men who love them.

1. Jamar Hornsby.  Hornsby was caught using a dead woman’s gas card for six months [ESPN].  Herban stated “He is not a part of our program (fingers and toes crossed)”.  How could Meyer  have known that his secondary would be decimated by injuries?  Projection:  Hornsby will have “learned” a  life lesson and return by the Tennessee game to fuel a gassed Gator secondary that is running on empty.
2. Ronnie “The Rifleman” Wilson. The right to bear arms is a right protected by the 2nd amendment, bitch.  So the The Rifleman serving an 18 month suspension from the team for a misdemeanor (and a civil rights violation)  that seemed pretty harsh for most Gators this was just to damn much.  The loss of DT Torrey Davis makes The Rifleman’s return, crucial  CRUCIAL to the Gates success. It’s not like he could have played anyway, Wilson also had a busted ankle so he got to heal up too. Rumor is that Wilson will play defense, not offense.Not sure what else is supposed to happen?  Read this shit: The alleged victim claimed Wilson spat on him and slapped him in the face at a nightclub. Wilson told police he did spit on the victim but denied hitting him. Wilson allegedly left the club, pulled an AK-47 from his trunk and fired a shot in the air.  Thank goodness that the Rifleman didn’t pop off a full banana clip. Florida coach Urban Meyer called the incident a “major concern” following the arrest in April, and suspended Wilson indefinitely from team activities.In a statement issued by the Florida Athletic Department, “how many of you carry guns . Just like I thought all of you. Here is what is expected at the University of Florida: We expect our players to play tough on the field…but off the field they need to play by the rules..isn’t that a double standard?  Can’t we all just have fun and party without fear of losing our  ‘jobs’. Go Gators.”
3. Brandon James. While wearing a Florida game jersey, James was “victimized” in a buy-bust drug deal that went awry when Drug Agents arrested his dope smoking ass.   James then met the informant and purchased .8 grams of marijuana for $20, according to details in the report. The sale was recorded on video and audio [ESPN]. I mean, who hasn’t been arrested for buying weed from an uncover narc? He was wearing a Gator football jersey for pete’s sake, that should have been a clear sign to the 5-O that Brandon should not have been arrested.  Had to be a new guy working undercover.



4. Tony Joiner vs Watson’s Towing Service before the LSU Game.  Only a dumbass would listen to the 911 screams from the employees at 3 am and actually believe that they were scared of Joiner.  In fact, the owner of Watson’s towing company was Joiner’s biggest advocate:I’m just glad it wasn’t Tim Tebow, that’s all I can say,” Forron said with a sad chuckle in an interview with FLORIDA TODAY. “I think I would be covered in 10 feet of concrete right now if it had been Tebow. “He (Joiner) was a perfect gentleman,” Forron said. “That had a big influence on why I wanted (the charges dropped). If he had been yelling and screaming, they wouldn’t have been dropped.” In the phone recordings, the people screaming in the background must have been the employees.

   

5. The Marcus Thomas “suspensions”.  Up in smoke with the Herb

Herban is being ridiculed on this blog for his decision to let his players play the game, great men often are, but true Geightor fans recognize the service he has given to the school and his team. We should all learn from Urban’s shining example and show our appreciation and love for the Geightor Nation. Next time you run into a Geightor make sure to buy him a Nickelbag, an AK or a tank of gas and tell him not to worry, Coach has you covered.