Interview with the spiritual leader of the Buckeye Nation


It was somewhat surreal to be interviewing the star of the Big Ten Blogosphere, the blog known as the
Eleven Warriors: http://www.elevenwarriors.com
, but it was thrice the strangeness like that of a typical dark gray Ohio morning sky, when the refreshing crisp air clears a port-a-potty when I opened up my email with the deft answers to my challenging interview questions.

I pictured in my mind’s eye a sweater-vested giant (above)  steepling his fingers and dipping his brow, giving me a sign that I should begin.  Being an SEC blog, I intuitively knew that I should slow the pace so they could keep up with our speed.

LWS: If you could go back in time and slap just one person, who would it be?  Charlie Bauman, Perhaps?
Martin S. Conner.

LWS: If you could fall out of any building, which one would it be?

Vietnam’s famous, new age gingerbread house.

LWS: Along those lines, if you were a cartoon character on Scooby-Doo, which one would, you be?

We, would be, Vincent Van Ghoul, voiced by the amaranthine Vincent Price.

LWS: What’s the smallest thing you’ve ever stolen?

Your heart.


LWS: Jim Tressel has often been criticized for his coaching in the BCS games versus SEC teams.. But shouldn’t he get more credit for being a shitty coach in the first 10 games of the season?

The Budweiser, not you, you vainglorious fille de joie.

LWS: In a perfect world, what time would your Kick-off start?

Post-Matlock, pre-Wheel of Fortune.

LWS: When was the last time you were stranded somewhere and for how long?

In the intellectual infinite abyss where a team coming off losses to both South Carolina and Vanderbilt at home garners any legitimate pre-season Top 10 consideration.

LWS: What College Coach has had the greatest influence on you?

James Caan.

LWS: How much of an improvement is Rich Rod over Lloyd Carr? Is it sort like moving from a Tuscaloosa to a shantytown?

What exactly is Tuscaloosa? Is that closer to Loretta Lynn’s ranch or the place they shot Steel Magnolias?

LWS: If you could take just one thing with you to be stuck on a deserted island, what would it be?

A hollowed out copy of the Physician’s Desk containing water proof matches and flares.

LWS: What do you think of these interview questions?

Boxers.

LWS: Boxers or briefs?
RIOT MASKS OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

LWS: Go ahead:  Pick the buckeyes record “game by game”

12-1, with the loss being to John Calipari’s SEC Champion Kentucky Wildcats.


LWS: Bonus:  You know that I type at SEC Speed.  How fast do you type?

Whatever Knowshown Moreno’s combine 40 time was + the margin of the number of Big Ten alumni Pro Bowlers – the number of SEC alumni Pro Bowlers. That many words per minute.


Eleven Warriors: http://www.elevenwarriors.com


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