It was somewhat surreal to be interviewing the star of the Big Ten Blogosphere, the blog known as the
Eleven Warriors: http://www.elevenwarriors.com, but it was thrice the strangeness like that of a typical dark gray Ohio morning sky, when the refreshing crisp air clears a port-a-potty when I opened up my email with the deft answers to my challenging interview questions.
I pictured in my mind’s eye a sweater-vested giant (above) steepling his fingers and dipping his brow, giving me a sign that I should begin. Being an SEC blog, I intuitively knew that I should slow the pace so they could keep up with our speed.
LWS: If you could go back in time and slap just one person, who would it be? Charlie Bauman, Perhaps?
Martin S. Conner.
LWS: If you could fall out of any building, which one would it be?
Vietnam’s famous, new age gingerbread house.
LWS: Along those lines, if you were a cartoon character on Scooby-Doo, which one would, you be?
We, would be, Vincent Van Ghoul, voiced by the amaranthine Vincent Price.
LWS: What’s the smallest thing you’ve ever stolen?
Your heart.
LWS: Jim Tressel has often been criticized for his coaching in the BCS games versus SEC teams.. But shouldn’t he get more credit for being a shitty coach in the first 10 games of the season?
The Budweiser, not you, you vainglorious fille de joie.
LWS: In a perfect world, what time would your Kick-off start?
Post-Matlock, pre-Wheel of Fortune.
LWS: When was the last time you were stranded somewhere and for how long?
In the intellectual infinite abyss where a team coming off losses to both South Carolina and Vanderbilt at home garners any legitimate pre-season Top 10 consideration.
LWS: What College Coach has had the greatest influence on you?
James Caan.
LWS: How much of an improvement is Rich Rod over Lloyd Carr? Is it sort like moving from a Tuscaloosa to a shantytown?
What exactly is Tuscaloosa? Is that closer to Loretta Lynn’s ranch or the place they shot Steel Magnolias?
LWS: If you could take just one thing with you to be stuck on a deserted island, what would it be?
A hollowed out copy of the Physician’s Desk containing water proof matches and flares.
LWS: What do you think of these interview questions?
Boxers.
LWS: Boxers or briefs?
RIOT MASKS OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.
LWS: Go ahead: Pick the buckeyes record “game by game”
12-1, with the loss being to John Calipari’s SEC Champion Kentucky Wildcats.
LWS: Bonus: You know that I type at SEC Speed. How fast do you type?
Whatever Knowshown Moreno’s combine 40 time was + the margin of the number of Big Ten alumni Pro Bowlers – the number of SEC alumni Pro Bowlers. That many words per minute.
Eleven Warriors: http://www.elevenwarriors.com
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