Today, Penn State plays Notre Dame. Can you imagine how excited Beano is? He has been a Notre Dame and Joe Pa Homer for as long as I can recall. Games like Notre Dame and Penn State require special preparation. We wondered if Beano prepared for a big game like some of our Vols fans. If so, how does Beano prepare? What items does Beano need for a game of this magnitude? Here is what we discovered.
LWS was able to obtain a copy of Beano’s “Perfect Storm” Toolkit:
- Black Socks
- Wife Beater Tee Shirt
- Boxer Underwear
- Athlon Magazine (He needs visual stimulation)
- Lindys Magazine
- Industrial Grade Lubrication
- Penis Floss
- Kleenex with Aloe
- A quiet dark room to “watch”
Beano sits in the dark quiet room clad only in the “uniform” outlined above. The remaining items all have specific uses known only to Beano. LWS can only speculate on his actions.
It must be noted the impact that Beano Cook has had on a generation of Volunteer fans. Even today, a few devout Vols fans are now checking and rechecking their Perfect Storm Toolbox in anticipation of tonights game against Air Force.
We have an exlusive photo of some Vols Fans preparing their “Perfect Storm” Toolkit. Notice that the gentleman on the right is holding a “Its Football Time in Tennessee”. Each fan may vary their Toolkit as necessary.
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