This is another defining moment in LWS’s brief but storied history of securing the “tough” interview. We got to sit down and live some history with LSU Coach Les Miles.
Here is the halftime interview with LSU Coach Lester Slingblade Miles: Link
El brujo:
Man, I can’t believe I’m getting to interview Les fucking Miles. This is so cool.
Les Miles:
Thanks man, it’s cool to be here.
El brujo:
Yeah. You were my fucking idol in when you coached at Oklahoma State. I had this one big-ass trucker hats like yours that I seriously wore everyday.
Les Miles:
That’s cool. It’s always nice to hear that kind of stuff from a fan.
El brujo:
Actually it was really gross. Wearing a hat that has the shape of a marshmallow makes it kinda tough not getting the living shit kicked out of you everyday. I got tired of getting my ass kicked so I stopped wearing it.
Les Miles:
Oh. Uhh, well that’s cool too I guess.
El brujo:
Yeah so, my favorite Les Miles meltdown moments were against Auburn, Florida, Tennessee, Texas and Oklahoma. Mostly because I thought it was cool to watch your brain freeze like watching JeMarcus Russell trying to audible out of a play.
Les Miles:
Those teams were coached by second rate Ron Zooks. I just got distracted. I have the attention span of a circus monkey.
El brujo:
Well I bet that’s just because you were too busy thinking of recruiting hot prospects. Who got better recruits, you – or Ed Orgeron?
Les Miles:
We never really compared notes.
El brujo:
I bet you did. Ed Orgeron is one ugly motherfucker. I bet you could kick Ed Orgeron’s ass.
Les Miles:
Ed and I have no reason to fight. It’s all cool. He does his thing and I do mine. Deep in my heart, I know that Ed should be coaching here at LSU. He understands that cajun talk. I would be a fit better at Ole Miss. The Chicago Cubs of the SEC, always a bridesmaid. Those are the expectation levels that I am use to. Speaking of Ed, You ever listen to that fucker talk? I can’t understand him and he stinks. I mean he smells to high hell of something rancid. You know, like that corndog smell? All these people here smell like a state fair concession stand.
El brujo:
What about those twits from schools like Florida? That Urban guy looks and acts like a pussy. Did you ever kick his ass?
Les Miles:
I actually never even met him, but fuck yeah; I heard he cried like a bitch after we beat them at our place last year. Seems that his team is really getting a lot of “home-cooking” calls. Is this the real interview or are you just getting this out of your system?
<!–[if !vml]–>El brujo:
Interview. Right. Yeah ok, here’s a real interview question: Have you had work done? You look kinda botoxed.
Les Miles:
I uhh, umm… No, I just kinda try and take care of myself. You know?
El brujo:
Why does your face look so unnaturally smooth and puffy then?
Les Miles:
I don’t know man. Look, is this the kind of shit you’re going to keep asking, ’cause I don’t need this kind of shit. I got other shit I could be doing.
El brujo:
Oh yeah? Like what? Learning when not to call a timeout when the clock is already stopped like you did last year against Tennessee in the 4th quarter? Or when not to play to lose when you actually have the other team beat?
Les Miles:
Actually I’m real busy. I have been reading a lot lately. Coach O has embraced reading, he hooked me up with “Reading with the Rebels” program. My study buddy is that new recruit he just signed, Jerrell Powe.
El brujo:
Yeah, I read all about it on your sweet website. What’s up with the cheesy Photoshop effects and the gay-looking photography? The Les Miles I remember would never put something so heauxmeaux-erotic up on a website. Is that why you’re busy? You’re designing websites in your spare time? {Now yelling} You let me down Les Miles! You were my hero! Do you know what its like to lose your hero Les?!! Huh?!! Answer me you has-been sellout cocksucker!
Les Miles:
Jeez man, chill out. Hey, a quick question though. How come you don’t pronounce the ‘X’ in Geaux?
El brujo:
I think its best {sobs} if you just geaux.
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