Review of “Bama Profiles in Courage: Laykin”: (Capers) Barr flexes through an emotional range that most writers would never dare attempt … Humor and Bama sorrow are fused together like twined tree trunks that keep each other standing…..It’s part satire, part character study, with a wry lens on fame, fandom, and the modern South. Well done, Capers, well done.”– Ian Allen, The Times Literary Supplement.

Dear Coach Gottfried,

First off, I would like to congratulate you on your team’s selection into the NIT. The discriminating college basketball fan knows that is much more difficult to get into the NIT than the NCAA tournament. The NCAA tourney has twice as many teams in it. Plus, almost half of the teams that get into the NCAA are automatic bids for teams that win their conference tournament. The selection committee has no choice but to put these teams into their brackets. Sounds a lot like affirmative action if you ask me. The NIT is by invitation only and they only choose 32 teams to play for the coveted NIT championship.

Since your team was unable to win against Mississippi State (I blame the refs) on the final weekend of the regular season, you were denied the opportunity to raise that Co-Western Division Championship Banner that we, as fans, were so looking forward to see hanging up in Coleman Coliseum right beside all those SEC Tourney Championship Banners that was won when Wimp was here. But now you have an opportunity to hoist that NIT Championship flag and proudly proclaim Bama to be the 66th best team in the entire country!

OK, Coach, you probably realized by now that I’m being just a little facetious. Or at least I hope you realize it. C’mon Mike, your team was ranked in the top 5 in the country for the first month and a half or more of the season. What gives? This is the second time in your tenure at Alabama that the team has fallen from such lofty pre-conference play heights. The first time I agree that Alabama was vastly overrated, but not this time Coach. How much longer do you expect the goodwill you earned on that Elite Eight run to last? For me and many other Bama fans that goodwill has been stolen away much like the way opposing teams regularly swipe the lackadaisical passes thrown by your players.

Mike, I fear you have wilted under the pressure of your own success. For the longest time, just getting your team into the NCAA tourney was good enough for most Bama fans. It gave us something to cheer about while waiting on August to get here. And for the past 5 years (not counting this year of course) you did an excellent job of being just good enough. But getting to the Elite Eight in 2004 gave Bama Nation a taste of what successful basketball programs can achieve. And that success can become addictive. Sure, football will always be just a small step below God in the fans’ priorities, but you know what Bama fans love almost as much as football? A winner. Look at the gymnastics program. Their events are always sold out in T-town. Is it because that the residents of Alabama just love them some women’s gymnastics? No, is it because of the tiny uniforms the girls wear? OK, that may have a little to do with it, but by and large, it is because that they win, and win big.

(Can Hendrix fit into one of those?) 

We’re still not asking for much, Coach. We’re not talking about Final Four appearances every year. Or even at all. We’re just sick and tired of the underachieving. I don’t think expecting to have a conference record above 0.500 every other year is too much. Do you?

Sincerely,

One Bama Fan

15 responses to “An Open Letter to Mark Gottfried”

  1. I think he is not a good coach. He is a great coach. Get off his jock and go drink a Dew.

  2. I’m not saying fire him just yet, but he needs to produce next year.

  3. his name is Mark Gottfried. Mike Gottfried is his uncle.

  4. anonymous, it was intentional

  5. I’ve disliked Gottfried ever since a Bama booster I know told me that Gottfried had signed the high school teammate of a highly sought bluechip prospect just to get an edge up on signing the bluechip prospect. (The two went to my old HS, and I had watched them play as high schoolers; the less sought-after player was friends with my sister’s family.) Well, the bluechipper signed somewhere else (UK), and Gottfried ignored the guy who did sign with Bama once he got there. (The guy ended up transfering, and later became a starter at his new school.) The Bammer booster mentioned Gottfried’s tactic matter of factly, like he had no problem with it. So I like to watch Gottfried lose.

  6. Taco Bell Soft Tacos Avatar
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos

    If the Bahr was still coaching we’d uf got intoo tha big dance. At least we’z get to hoist a NIT 1st round banner next to all those gymnastics banners in Coleman!

    BAMA’S BACK (in the NIT)!

  7. […] Alabama: Loser With Socks has an open letter to Mark Gottfried. […]

  8. CallingR.Pitino... Avatar
    CallingR.Pitino…

    A reminder: In Bama’s elite 8 season they needed a late run of 5 of 6 wins at the end of the regular season, then 2 SEC tourney wins just to make the NCAA’s as a 10 or 11 seed as I recall. Then, a missed last second shot by Sou.Ill. in round one. Shelton, Winston and Pettway then gaught fire from the ridiculously short 3- point line to carry us. With this talented group Mike had managed to loose 10 -12, as usual.

  9. Screw Gottfried. When does spring practice start?

    I stopped caring about Bama B-ball the year they hit #1 and promptly tanked the rest of the year. There is absolutely zero consistancy up there on the hardwood.

  10. As much as we love dead coaches, do you think we can hire Adolph Rupp?

  11. Mike Shula's Gold Chain Avatar
    Mike Shula’s Gold Chain

    Rupp was a racist

  12. If we had won the Co-Western Division Championship, could the guys have brought out a ladder and cut down the nets like Flawiduh did?

  13. you people are idiots… gottfried is a great coach… but you people can’t expect a basketball powerhouse, like kentucky, if the state of alabama is ALWAYS in a football midset!

  14. Fire Gottfried NOW! Last in FG% Def, Last in 3pt FG% def, first in quitting against Clemson. Horrible at entry passes, cannot get Hendrix the ball(10 shots in each of the last two losses???? YOU ARE FIRED) Jacked up 5 consecutive 3s in a close game against Flordia!
    YOU HAVE THE BEST POST PLAYER IN THE SEC-GET IT TO HIM YOU IDIOT! FIRE HIM NOW! PREDICTING A 2O POINT LOSS AT ARKANSAS!
    FIRE HIM NOW BEFORE HE GETS DOWN 4O!

  15. chester cheetah Avatar
    chester cheetah

    “To the Dumbass who wrote this letter, it is MARK not MIKE, the basketball coach is named MARK GOTTFRIED. And yes he needs to go should have been fired about 4 or 5 years ago

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