Dear America:
You’ve laughed at us, picked on us, told us we didn’t belong in the SEC, made fun of our athletic department structure, but now we say this to you, skeptics of the U.S. of A.:
Suck our collective girl-balls.
That’s right, the Vandy ladies’ bowling team is bringing Vandy’s first national non-academic championship trophy home to Nashville’s West End. And hey, it looks a lot like all seven of the Lady Vols’ hoops trophies.
Frankly, if it were me, I’d be friggin’ pissed if my national championship trophy looked just like everyone else’s trophy. Of course, if I were Vandy, I’d be running down Demonbreun naked and abusing myself in the eyes of the Lord if I’d won anything above and beyond a certificate of participation.
“Right now I can’t put this championship into proper perspective,” said an elated Coach John “Hey Pat Summit, I’m only six national titles behind you, biyatch” Williamson. “To win the first national team championship in school history is special. Our student-athletes worked so hard, our coaches worked hard and this victory on national television is validation that the effort was worthwhile.”
Nice safe, lame-o press statement, Coach.
In case you were wondering, VU beat Maryland Eastern Shore to win the title, potentially firing off the first salvo in a Pat Head-Geno Auriemma-esque feud between the two schools.
If we get a link to any t-shirts or caps or any other sorta merchandise, we’ll be sure to pass it along.
Leave a Reply