Loser with Socks

Mountain Damn Values from the Paint Rock River Valley

Review of “Bama Profiles in Courage: Laykin”: (Capers) Barr flexes through an emotional range that most writers would never dare attempt … Humor and Bama sorrow are fused together like twined tree trunks that keep each other standing…..It’s part satire, part character study, with a wry lens on fame, fandom, and the modern South. Well done, Capers, well done.”– Ian Allen, The Times Literary Supplement.

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The Standard from which all other schools are measured

Dressed only in a Tennessee Peyton Manning Home Jersey, a Indy Colts Super Bowl Champion cap and a pair of Oakley Thump Pro premium sunglass with a state-of-the-art MP3 player (playing Kenny Chesney) to create the ultimate masturbation experience. I spanked from the beginning to the end of the video below.  Since the video is…

1–2 minutes

Dressed only in a Tennessee Peyton Manning Home Jersey, a Indy Colts Super Bowl Champion cap and a pair of Oakley Thump Pro premium sunglass with a state-of-the-art MP3 player (playing Kenny Chesney) to create the ultimate masturbation experience. I spanked from the beginning to the end of the video below.  Since the video is approximately 4 minutes, I was able to spank 3.9 times (3.9, Like a Cal Wide Receiver’s 40 time). During my recovery periods I came up with following thoughts:

Fulmer Cup and EDSBS? Suck my dick, wearing a blindfold and with no-hands…money shot fuckers

Big East Conference, Logan Young and Bammers? Suck my dick too

Ever notice how the vultures circle when a Vol gets in trouble? Ever notice how people with little dicks name a trophy after a coach? Ever notice that a program (w/ no tradition) looks north for affirmation (we affirm that you suck cock, gators, yes you do)? Or how a school in the ghetto continues to hire coaches looking for a win over a big orange pumpkin?

SO Fuck you Fulmer Cup, Spurrier, Meyer (you fucking no-integrity cheater), Saban (you got sweet hair), and most of all: fuck you Gator Nation (Remember what happened to SMU/OU/Canes?).

26 responses to “The Standard from which all other schools are measured”

  1. Ron Zook built the NC Team of 2006 Avatar
    Ron Zook built the NC Team of 2006

    Florida = Marrijuana/Guns/Assaults = Gator trifecta

  2. Taco Bell Soft Tacos Avatar
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos

    Damn, I’m not UT fan and that still pumped me up

  3. T-KGB -- (Taurean "Killer" Green "Buds") Avatar
    T-KGB — (Taurean “Killer” Green “Buds”)

    Seriously, this is a horrible posting. You guys are really dipping into the low-hanging fruit of the Vols’ fan pool now. Really, how many times do you have to say “Suck my dick!” in one posting. We get the hint, you don’t get many hummers. Listen, I’m a Gator fan but I post here sometimes — Jai, Pat and the boys are solid football fans and they all get it. But whoever this dickhole is needs to calm down a little – I mean, your team is still up against the wall – coming off of a 9-4 season while squeaking into the Top 25 at the end of the year — with a coach that has been criticized with not making it happen. And, there’s a lot of dust on top of your last title trophy from a major sport. And about this retarded video — you guys won the game — and this was the game that was postponed. You’re awfully cocky – we’ll see if we hear from you again this fall. And those sunglasses are the gayest glasses ever made. I bet you have spiky hair, an orange-from-the-bottle tan and wear wristbands when you go out to bars – i.e. – Douche … Bag. Yeah, there’s barley any ass daggers walking around in a Peyton jersey rocking a Colts cap. Fucking pozer.

  4. purpleheart Avatar
    purpleheart

    Seriously, Orson at EDSBS is fairly impartial, and has owned up to the lack of institutional control at Florida — the fulmer cup just has a nice ring to it, and y’all had a lot of trouble a few years ago.

    If you started an award for the program that gets away with the most violations without punishment and called it the Trojan-Tuberville trophy, I think most people would think it’s funny, but you’d piss off a few USC fans. It would probably piss off a few Auburn fans too, but they can’t read.

  5. Pug Avatar
    Pug

    Yawn. Needs to be edited for interest. Hate’s fine but make it as interesting to read as the rest of this site.

  6. LL Avatar
    LL

    This is very juvenile. Did a 14-year old come up with this post? Pathetic.

  7. Tyrone Prothro's floppy get-a-way stick Avatar
    Tyrone Prothro’s floppy get-a-way stick

    Naw this shit is funny. 5 & 6, I think this post hit close to home. Toughen up.

  8. LL Avatar
    LL

    Nope, didn’t hit close to home at all. It appears to have been written by a middle-schooler which is a disgrace to the other posters on this site who write more thought-out, educated posts.

  9. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    great news about brandon. he will be available for the tennessee game!! that’s all that matters.

  10. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    There is a lot of hummer talk here. I got excited

  11. I want to be TeBow's Cuckold Avatar
    I want to be TeBow’s Cuckold

    This post is pure raw fucking power. Like my untackable, uncrackable Tebow’s thighs

  12. LL Avatar
    LL

    Jai- Brandon James is also losing his scholarship for a semester and Ronnie Wilson has been suspended for the entire season. I wish James was suspended for the UT game. Wouldn’t bother me any. All it really means is that your punter will get the opportunity to trip him to save a TD again in this year’s game. However, you won’t have the home-cooking refs to call a faux block in the back penalty on another one of his returns. Shucks.

  13. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Or that faux roughing the passer call that cost the good guys a TD?

  14. Tyrone Prothro's floppy get-a-way stick Avatar
    Tyrone Prothro’s floppy get-a-way stick

    Fucking Touce’ Jai. With all the hundred dollar handshakes that James is surely getting from the Bullgators I doubt he will have any trouble funding his rigorous academic schedule of Indoor Cultivating 101 and Assualt Rifle Field Stripping 321.

  15. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Are you saying that the Bull Gators are awarding full scholarships?

    I heard that the “kid with the keg”, got a Bull Gate Scholarship

  16. LL Avatar
    LL

    I do believe that roughing the passer call was a make-up call, Jai.

  17. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    make up call?

  18. LL Avatar
    LL

    If my memory serves me correctly, for the non-call when Colquitt tripped James, thus preventing a TD. I think the roughing the passer call happened a play or two later. I could be mistaken, though.

    I hated that game even though UF won. Mainly because UF dominated the Time of Possession, shut down Ainge (who was the nation’s top-rated passer at the time – only heard that about 192 times that week), shut down UT’s running game (-12 yards rushing total), forced turnovers, yet STILL because of a trick-play TD by UT and one missed call (the trip) and one horrible call (the block in the back where the UT defender fell on his back… hmmmm….) it was a close game. Just frustrating. That’s all. Sorry for the long run-on sentence.

  19. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    it was -11 yards dick weed

  20. Pug Avatar
    Pug

    dick weed…now we’re back on track.

  21. LL Avatar
    LL

    Dammit! Sorry, Jai.

  22. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    I needed that yard back.

  23. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    OK, which sports social networking site?

    Ballhype or be the ref sports

  24. LL Avatar
    LL

    Hmmm…. not really familiar with either one. I’ll get back to you on that.

    Have a great 4th, Everyone!

  25. Tyrone Prothro's Floppy Get-A-Way Stick Avatar
    Tyrone Prothro’s Floppy Get-A-Way Stick

    Spread option is a shit, still not convinced it will work in the SEC. You won the BCS ‘ship on the back of your D. What’s the over/under on how many games till Tebow makes the appointment with Dr. James Andrews?

  26. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    http://ballhype.com/

    Does Dr Andrews work on sternums?

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