I won ‘t lie, I’m relieved to be at the last “preseason” version of this feature. I’d imagine the two or three of you who are following along in your hymnals are equally glad. By next week, we’ll actually be able to see if a cupcake can win one of these games. But today, I’m going to finish off the last few frosting-covered delicacies in anticipation of tomorrow night.

Northern Colorado @ Hawaii

In Greeley, Colorado, the smell of cow manure is referred to as “the smell of money”. I guess if your name is Monfort, that is correct, but for us other poor souls, it just smells like shit. That said, I imagine the UNC Bears are probably aching to get on that plane to Hawaii for what is sure to be cupcake heaven.

After going 1-10 last year, and 0-8 in the Big Sky, Northern Colorado should be so bad they actually cause the Warriors to regress offensively, but at least everyone can rack up some B.S. yardage – it all counts on the stat sheet. Given the difficulty of getting small schools to pay to fly to Hawaii, I can’t ding the green gobblers too much for taking whoever they can get. As much as a small school might like to fly to Hawaii, their athletic budgets are strained by the travel arrangements, even after Hawaii pays out.

Youngstown State @ THE Ohio State University

This is one of those regional games that is probably a pretty big thrill for the coal miners and sons of coal miners who attend Youngstown State, so I guess it’s good that Ohio State is letting the locals have a shot at them. However, it gets a little ridiculous when you look down the road and see Akron and Kent State lining up for a paddling as well. We get it, you’re all from Ohio – let’s give another state a shot at Ole Sweater Vest, OK?

Florida International University @ Penn State

PSU is hosting some parochial school the next weekend after this game, so I guess they felt a need to marshall their forces by facing FIU instead. Aw shit, JoePa, you forgot about Ned… this could be a real challenge for the Nittany Lions.

Seriously, though, when you go from NED to NotrEDame, that’s a pretty significant jump. We’ll give Penn State a break here, but only if Ned and JoePa have a crutch fight in the parking lot before the game.

I am soooo tempted to flip out and take Statie #1 RUTS up on his offer of a ticket to this game. It has potential to be a lot of fun, for all of the wrong reasons. (image courtesy of Deadspin)

Louisiana-Lafayette @ South Carolina

The Ole Ballsack has actually done this the right way, in my humble opinion. He has LA-La first, then at #13 Georgia. Then another rest with South Carolina State before going to LSU. There ain’t no way in hell that daggum old ball-washer is going to play in a BCS game with that kind of schedule, but it’s going to make for some entertaining football.

Other things that happen in Lafayette, Louisiana: Eating (this recipe makes my mouth water), Fiddlin’, and no doubt a little wee bit of coonassin’.

I have to say, though – Ragin’ Cajuns is one of the top nicknames in college sports.

Montana State @ Texas A&M

I know I just made fun of THE Ohio State University for only bringing in nearby schools this season, but couldn’t A&M have found someone who didn’t have to travel from Canada to Mexico for a big game check?

That’s all I have. If you want to be reminded of who’s playing in the great cupcake kickoff tomorrow, read the first post in the series.