If you disagree with this, you are wrong and can die.
QB: Doesn’t matter who LSU starts, OSU won’t be able to stop them. OSU couldn’t stop a CFL reject and some Freshman last year, so a dual threat in from LSU will mind fuck Tressel into flashbacks from that 41-14 ass beating.
RB: LSU has tremendous depth at RB, and they have the edge. Also they have a beast in a FB with Hester who can play tailback as well. Everyone is talking about Failboat RB Beanie Wells, but Tosu’s fastest player is 3rd string RB Brandon Saine who ran an Ohio state record 10.38 100m dash in HS. One of LSU’s plethora of RB’s is Trindon Holliday. Holiday set a school record 10.02 in the 100m dash (LSU is a historically dominant team in track, trust me on this, so a school record is saying a lot). SEC speed kills, bitches.
WR: Early Doucet gives the Tigaz this category. If Les Miles was smart (haha, WTF am I talking about) he would line Doucet in the slot to force an outside backer to cover him. Easy 6, or at least it would draw a double team from the SS or FS to open up the other WRs like Lafell or Byrd who are pretty damn good too.
OL: You don’t know these LSU guys name because these doodz are good. Herman Johnson and Ciron Black were all-SEC selections. Last season ND’s D-line outweighed LSU’s OL by an average of 29 lbs. We all saw how that worked out for the Irish. Speed kills, even from the big guys.
DL: Glenn Dorsey. I don’t give a shit if OSU has five Kyle Turleys on the other side of the ball. Glenn Dorsey, you got to double or triple team him every time, and even if you can accomplish that there is someone else who can come free to put pressure on Tosu’s QB Todd Baeiouckman.
LB: I thought about this one for a while… James Laurinaitis is good, but Ali Highsmith and company are better. I am so happy Highsmith is gone after this season. It seems like he has been at LSU longer than Jerrell Powe has been trying to read.
DB: LSU’s top two CBs are shutdown guys, and LSU SS Craig Steltz had sex with your girlfriend. The only way to throw on this team when they have the 4-3 on the field is to go trips to one side and make Highsmith cover one-on-one, or have an All-Universe RB with a badass ride throw against the D. Tosu doesn’t have that.
The Achilles Heel of this unit is their backup CB Jai Eugene (not the guy who runs this blog, another dood). If Zenon or Chevis Jackson get knocked out for a play or two, or if they bring Eugene on the field in a Nickle or Dime package, expect the Failboats to throw at this waste.
ST: K Colt David and P Patrick Fisher are both all-SEC. Les Miles’ antics with the fake FG vs. South Carolina will force Tressel to play it safe on LSU FG trys. LSU hasn’t had a kick of any kind blocked this season and that includes a game against ESPN-proclaimed Special Teams Gods,Virginia Tech.
Coaching: People try to act like Tressel is a good coach but he got lucky against Miami in 2002 and benefits from playing in a weak ass conference. He got away from the run early last year against Florida and it cost the Failboats the game. But Les Miles sucks. There are intramural flag-football coaches at every school in the SEC (except Ole Miss) that are better than Les Miles. That being said, the only reason Ohio State wins this game is because of the Sweater Vest out-coaching Miles. Sweater Vest doesn’t have to out-coach the Hat, just let Miles fuck it up on his own.
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