Loser with Socks

Monitoring Vols Messageboards for drama, trends, analysis and headlines before they happen. “Tennessee could be good. Or they could be bad. We won’t know until the ball kicks off but even then we have no way of knowing.” – User OldBullsGapVol

Dust Off yer Britches, Bitch

Lane Kiffin has man boobs.  Derek Dooley has the coif of a man poised to win championships.  How many championships? Look at the picture, motherfucker. This is my Talented Battle Captain.  There are many like him, but this one is mine. My TBC is my best friend; he is my life.  He must master his…

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Lane Kiffin has man boobs.  Derek Dooley has the coif of a man poised to win championships.  How many championships?

Look at the picture, motherfucker.

This is my Talented Battle Captain.  There are many like him, but this one is mine. My TBC is my best friend; he is my life.  He must master his defense as he masters his hair.  His defense, without his hair, is useless.  Without his defense, his hair is useless. I must follow my TBC true.  He must tan and comb better than our enemy who does it while cheating (RTR).

Every candidate interviewed for the Tennessee job was either (1) too dumb or (2) too scared to lead the Vols to MULTIPLE championships.  Gruden, Lovie, Muschamp…. all idiots.  It took a UVA and UGA Law educated man to lead my beloved Vols to the next level.

Before Derek Dooley finishes at Tennessee, Nick Saban will be working for him.  Derek Dooley just named Will Muschamp his coach in waiting.  He has resigned as head football coach at LA Tech, but he will continue to mastermind their entire athletic department while simultaneously signing prized beasts and studs for the Big Orange.

This is the kind of man who thinks a hat should be put in a closet for at least 10 years like a fine wine before ever touched; visor’s are for pussies who “almost” have great hair.  How do you feel ‘Dawgs?  This man is marching right into your backyard and burying Mark Richt Skinny Fulmer’s career.  Maybe it will happen next year so you can still hire away Muschamp.

His handshake is firm.  His words are true and eloquent.  His playcalling is effortless and efficient; calculated and intense with an amazing pedigree.  Am I worried about the direction of the Tennessee program?  GTFO, I am only worried about shelf space in the trophy room.

Your ass just got lawyer’d.  Vols, bitch.

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40 responses to “Dust Off yer Britches, Bitch”

  1. Ya Mamma Avatar
    Ya Mamma

    My oh my, what IS that scraping sound? It sure it obKnoxious. I see the bottom of the barrel from here.

  2. zigzag Avatar
    zigzag

    bosgap spins the Doolittle mess for Jai, who popped his sphincter on the news.

  3. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Not my first choice. He has potential. He needs to recruit and salvage the class

  4. zigzag Avatar
    zigzag

    A positive:

    It could not be worse than Kiffin, who will be remembered as the juvenile who set the Vol program back at least five years.

  5. DaveClawson Avatar
    DaveClawson

    I endorse Derek Dooley. He taught me everything I know about my hair, and I will eternally be grateful to him.

  6. Ed Avatar
    Ed

    He can talk the talk, but can he walk the walk?

    If can salvage the recruiting class, he passes the 1st test

  7. Your daddy, Alabama! Avatar
    Your daddy, Alabama!

    obKnoxious indeed…Doolittle was #20 on the coaches list. Worse? yeah!
    The Viles are the bottom feeders who cant find a coach over 35!
    Low to mid tier…Joker, Richt, Spurrier and the gaytor bastard are
    going to love this year. This will be 2009 all over again with a few extra
    L’s!. I cant imagine what Saban will do to this poor boy!

  8. gatorhippy Avatar
    gatorhippy

    Nice…

    Two hires in a row with losing career records and zero BCS head coaching experience…

    However, with his AD experience maybe he will be able to help get a better replacement than himself after he gets promoted to that position when UT fires Hamilton for not being able to hire a better coach…

    And his law experience should come in handy to ensure there’s a loophole in his contract when he uses the UT stepping stone for his dream job at UGA in 14 months…

    Somewhere Johnny Majors is peeking out from his paper bag and laughing his ass off…

  9. F Lane Kiffin Avatar
    F Lane Kiffin

    Hated the hire when I first heard it and saw his record…but after the press conference…I am sold

  10. oscar lawrence Avatar
    oscar lawrence

    Hire could work out great over time. Definitely did much with little in Ruston.

    The Pirate’s a lawyer, too.

    Gosh, the Vol obnoxiousness on Muschamp amazes: love him, hate him. Can you just say, “…jilted?”

    That CPA analysis is why CPA is a…ahem, a CPA.

    Hook ’em!

  11. jeff Avatar
    jeff

    My Vols! My goodness my Vols!!!

  12. Gators owns YOU Avatar
    Gators owns YOU

    Seriously? Even David Cutcliff would’ve been a better choice… but then again, this is coming from the school who hired Lame Kiffin! I just can’t understand why he’d take a step down from LaTech to coach in that cesspool of a shit-hole Knoxville!!

    Did anyone see his presser? It’s so funny how he tries to imitate the lying bastard who brought him into coaching (Saban). Oh well, hope you guys Meyer continuing his tradition: eating french fries, foaming at the mouth and praying to God to make his kids 5 stars so he has to spend time with them

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

  13. Ya Mamma Avatar
    Ya Mamma

    F Lane Kiffin: “After the press conference I am sold.”

    Yeah, I think the administration used the same criterion to hire him. That’s two coaches in a row who can talk a good game and can’t muster a decent win record.

    Holy shit someone needs to learn how to hire a coach.

  14. zigzag Avatar
    zigzag

    Basically traded one pretty boy for another, both of whom are totally out of their depth.

  15. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Based on what analysis? You may wish to read NYCVols latest post

  16. Ya Mamma Avatar
    Ya Mamma

    Yeah, Jai, I’ve never seen such in-depth analysis and knowledgeable insights into the game of football as when NYCVol comments. I scrape better looking crap off my shoe after a walk in the dog park.

  17. Agonzo Avatar
    Agonzo

    You haters ought to stop wagging your mouths and read Andy Staples insightful article at SI.com about the new battle captain. It may take us a year or so to dig out of the hole that Lame put us in, but believe the future is bright in Kpatch.

  18. Mike Avatar
    Mike

    The reason dooley has moobs is b/c he is taking woman hormones for his sugery next fall.He’ll then be known as Vicky Dooley. Which should work out well with all the fuckings he is going to take in the SEC.

  19. Gainesville Whore Avatar
    Gainesville Whore

    You bama and gaytor fans said the same shit last year when Lame was hired. You talked shit knowing our program was three or four years off but yet your buttholes were eating holes in your panties and jorts while waiting to see if we could kick a field goal. But Mike Slive and company wasn’t going to allow that. Dooley might have been our tenth or twentieth choice but he’s our man now so keep buying stock in aquanet and duckhead khaki’s to keep your old piss stained coaches happy.

  20. A Final Look at the Short Road from Kiffin to Dooley « Vols in the Fall

    […] Dust Off Yer Britches, Bitch (Losers With Socks) […]

  21. Mike Avatar
    Mike

    It won’t take haiti as long to rebuild as it will TN. TN won’t be in a bowl next year. Which will make the ACC sad since they own you and all. You can’t spell cunt without UT.

  22. Gators owns YOU Avatar
    Gators owns YOU

    I see you edited my post, Vile incest… I guess you can’t handle the reality of Meyer being a sociopath. I hope he stops eating jimmy dean sausage and biscuits. I need his ticker running

    Don’t you wish you were us?

  23. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Haiti was horrible before the quake, dipweed

  24. Ya Mamma Avatar
    Ya Mamma

    revisionists…Hamilton says Dooley was his first choice.

  25. LL Avatar
    LL

    Regardless, this is a significant upgrade for the Vols. Kiffin can’t coach and that was going to be exposed badly next year.

    Dooley’s law degree will come in handy the next time a Prius full of Playmakers try to jack some fool at the Pilot.

  26. jt Avatar
    jt

    Dooley looks like Urban. A little more femme, but basically the same guy.

  27. Paul Harvey Avatar
    Paul Harvey

    bammeroids and gaturds need to take a good look at the clip of Dooley slapping his player on Youtube. He will be doing the same thing to your teams in a couple of years.

  28. Mike Avatar
    Mike

    He might be a bit better than CLusterfucK. But just a bit.

  29. Monday Sucks. Here’s Some Links. — Tasty Booze

    […] for Johnny Depp (Pic) It Starts at an Early Age (Pic) Kayden Kross With Her Clothes On (Pics) Dust Off yer Britches, Bitch (Sports) Nickelback Isn’t Douchey at All (Video) What’s Wrong With You Ohio? (Pic) What You […]

  30. zigzag Avatar
    zigzag

    Doolittle brings a very thin resume’ to SEC combat but $aban and Meyer will shit us up with what a great hire it was.

    And Jai, fuck NYCVol, his assessment validates the fact that Doolittle is totally out of his depth.

  31. Tuesday’s F. C. King Links « Loser with Socks

    […] for Johnny Depp (Pic) It Starts at an Early Age (Pic) Kayden Kross With Her Clothes On (Pics) Dust Off yer Britches, Bitch (Sports) Nickelback Isn’t Douchey at All (Video) What’s Wrong With You Ohio? (Pic) What You […]

  32. CLS Avatar
    CLS

  33. Ya Mamma Avatar
    Ya Mamma

    Overall, the Vols have improved. Dooley will have it tough for a couple of years and I hope the Vol faithful will give him a chance.

    I don’t know what I’d rather have…Vitriol or pity from the great unwashed.

  34. zigzag Avatar
    zigzag

    jt, but no the same coach.

  35. Brian Fantana Avatar
    Brian Fantana

    Jai, in his post above, has pretty much pegged Dooley. Potential.

  36. zigzag Avatar
    zigzag

    “Potential”?

    The Vol masses said the same thing about Kiffin.

  37. Brian Fantana Avatar
    Brian Fantana

    Potential is about ALL he has now, but he does have that.

  38. Brian Fantana Avatar
    Brian Fantana

    Jai I am handing you a punchline with the link below. Don’t say I never did anything for you:

    http://www.cbssports.com/collegefootball/story/12808974/fired-florida-sideline-reporter-babik-faces-child-porn-charges

  39. zigzag Avatar
    zigzag

    “Potential” is like an asshole, everybody has it.

  40. gatorhippy Avatar
    gatorhippy

    And some just have the potential of an asshole…

    Because they’re full of shit…

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