Ah, so the CFP powers-that-be have decided that 12 playoff teams just weren’t enough. Now we’re talking 14 teams. Why stop there? Let’s just turn it into a 64-team March Madness-style bracket and completely obliterate the last shred of dignity this sport had.

The SEC and Big 10 Meet

Here’s the kicker: some conferences are thinking about canceling their championship games. Why? Because a loss might hurt a team’s ranking, even if it’s a “quality loss.” A quality loss—seriously? That’s like your wife “saving” money because she has a 10% off coupon for a $1,000 clothing purchase you didn’t even need. It’s just pretty girl math dressed up as logic. And now, we’re handing out playoff spots to teams that lose, as long as they look good doing it. Unreal.

And what screams “competitive football” more than bending over backward to make sure Notre Dame gets its own special rules and carving out a seat for conferences like the Mountain West? Spoiler alert: it’s not about fairness or a love for the underdog—it’s about TV money, plain and simple.

Let’s not pretend the SEC and Big Ten are suddenly feeling generous toward the Arizona States or the Boise States of the world. These are the haves—the power conferences swimming in billion-dollar TV deals, backed by ESPN and FOX. They don’t need these smaller teams or Notre Dame’s freeloading, conference-dodging self. So why include them? It’s all about appearances, my friend.

Notre Dame, sitting pretty with its NBC deal and “independent” status, gets special treatment because, well, they’re Notre Dame (insert air quotes here). Why bother joining a conference when you can have your cake and eat it too?

Here’s an example of how absurd this is: A 10-2 team with a single digit strength of schedule, ranked 6th, loses their Conference champions game and gets left out, while some mid-major “auto-qualifier” with a cupcake schedule strolls into the playoffs simply because they won their league. This isn’t about merit—it’s equity disguised as fairness.

ESPN and FOX want a product that looks diverse and inclusive. They’re packaging this expanded playoff as a feel-good story where the “little guys” get a shot. Except it’s not about giving them a real shot—it’s about filling more games with teams that will boost viewership in new regions, even if those teams are sacrificial lambs for Alabama and Ohio State. They’re selling the illusion of parity, but it’s all a façade.

So, why include these teams at all? Because the real power players know the truth: they’re in control, no matter who else gets invited to this increasingly pointless party.

Take the TCU Horned Frogs, for example. Sure, they can come along for the ride, but let’s be real—they’re just here for the playoff equivalent of a dunk in the football toilet. The SEC and Big Ten will stomp them with a 56-3 scoreboard, plaster it on ESPN for the world to see, and call it “inclusivity.” It’s social sabotage at its finest—letting the nerds think they belong, just to humiliate them in front of a national audience. You know, for the “lulz.”