Review of “Bama Profiles in Courage: Laykin”: (Capers) Barr flexes through an emotional range that most writers would never dare attempt … Humor and Bama sorrow are fused together like twined tree trunks that keep each other standing…..It’s part satire, part character study, with a wry lens on fame, fandom, and the modern South. Well done, Capers, well done.”– Ian Allen, The Times Literary Supplement.

LWS: Thanks for being with us today Tim, let’s get right to it. You recently ignited a firestorm among Tennessee fans with your most recent top ten poll. Let’s take a look at your top ten now:

Tim Brando’s College Football Top 10 (10/10)

1. Ohio State 6. Texas
2. Florida 7. California
3. USC 8. Louisville
4. Michigan 9. Arkansas
5. West Virginia 10. Clemson

LWS: Obviously a few things jump out at us when we see this. First of all, you have California ranked number 7 yet you don’t list Tennessee, a team that humiliated Cal in Knoxville. What’s up with that?

Brando: I have answered that question enough. Call your friends and ask them.

LWS: Can’t you just answer it and save us all a lot of time and energy?

Brando: Obviously that game was a fluke. That is all I will say about it.

LWS: You realize Tennessee was up 35-0 in the 3rd quarter, right?

Brando: Fluke

LWS: You realize Tennessee just hung 50 points on what was the #1 defense in the country, right?

Brando: Fluke. You can’t spell Fluke without “UT”

LWS: That’s flute, not fluke.

Brando: So what, I’m Tim Brando. I don’t have to explain myself.

LWS: I just can’t get past this Tennessee thing. You have Arkansas ranked ahead of Tennessee, the same Razorback team that was humiliated by Southern Cal in their season opener in Fayetteville. Come on Tim, let’s just admit you are a contrarian twit who is looking for attention, can we at least do that?

Brando: Tennnessee would have lost to Cal if they had scored less and Cal had been more effective in running their offense.

LWS: My aunt would be my uncle if she had balls, Tim. Let’s take some reader questions.

Calfantheprotestman: Tim, I was in Knoxville. Did you know that those hillbillies pray before the game? My civil rights were violated. I am thinking of filing a complaint to the UN. I have two questions. Can Cal beat USC? Is there anyway to stop all of the praying in the SEC?

Brando: Don’t waste your time. I have tried countless time to eliminate God from society. It just can’t be done. Damnit.

GatorNationTeabow2007: What did you think about the double pump, 360 tomahawk pass that Teabow threw against LSU. Gators baby!

Brando: Let’s stop kidding ourselves. That was the dumbest play I have ever witnessed. I guess it was too simple for wonder boy just to throw a lob pass, right? I hope Auburn knocks Teabag’s block off.

Volfanforever: A little bird tells me that Eric Ainge just doesn’t have the mental poise to play QB at Tennessee. What say you Timmy?

Brando: Do NOT call me Timmy. Otherwise I agree completely. The three national player of the week awards…………..fluke, fluke, and…………you guessed it………..FLUKE!

Cajun56: I fly planes. Wanna go for a ride in my F-16?

Brando: No.

TomFromBama: When will Phillip Fulmer get what’s coming to him? I hate him.

Brando: Don’t we all? He is like Bill Clinton. Nothing ever sticks. He will probably never get his. Give up the dream.

ChrisLeak: Hi Tim, Chris Leak here. I’m a little miffed. First of all, Florida fans hate me because I am not Teabow. I should be a Heisman Trophy candidate but I can’t even get publicity on my own team! I mean, what the F%CK??

Brando: You’re finished. You are the best player on your team, yet your fans wish you would go away. Isn’t it ironic? I’m sorry Chris. Life ain’t fair and Teabow is the Johnny Come Lately who just stole your thunder. Try some behind the back passes against Auburn, or maybe dribble the football. Teabow’s fusion of basketball and football has forever endeared him to Gator fans.

HottyToddyReb: Hotty Toddy Tim!

Brando: Next

LWS: Tim, that is all the time we have for now. Thank goodness we just discovered that your vote doesn’t count in the BCS standings. You are a true nutjob.

Brando: Out

4 responses to “LWS Chats with Tim Brando”

  1. heh, i just wrote about that fat ass right now. im not very smart, but i guess this is teh new site?

  2. CW suck balls sacks. Thats right.

  3. New site S.

    McRiblets, CW tongues balls

  4. the cold circle of life is helped by a warm cup of java

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