Loser with Socks

Mountain Damn Values from New Mexico

Review of “Bama Profiles in Courage: Laykin”: (Capers) Barr flexes through an emotional range that most writers would never dare attempt … Humor and Bama sorrow are fused together like twined tree trunks that keep each other standing…..It’s part satire, part character study, with a wry lens on fame, fandom, and the modern South. Well done, Capers, well done.”– Ian Allen, The Times Literary Supplement.

,

Uh-Oh.

As it turns out, Jimmy Clausen may not be the heir apparent to — well, Touchdown Jesus. Clausen, and his finger-in-the-outlet hairstyle, was less than spectacular in this weekend’s spring game at Notre Dame. Clausen threw completed 3 of 7 for 23 yards. While those numbers will have to be tempered by saying that Clausen…

1–2 minutes

jimmyclausen.jpg

As it turns out, Jimmy Clausen may not be the heir apparent to — well, Touchdown Jesus.

Clausen, and his finger-in-the-outlet hairstyle, was less than spectacular in this weekend’s spring game at Notre Dame. Clausen threw completed 3 of 7 for 23 yards. While those numbers will have to be tempered by saying that Clausen split time with Demetrius Jones, Zach Fraser and Evan Sharpley.  But still, don’t you think this less than stellar performance has some in South Bend a little nervous? I’d be completely shocked if Weis doesn’t have Clausen calling the shots when the Irish open against Georgia Tech but Jimmy may end up taking some licks along the way. Thankfully, the Irish play another laughable schedule so the road to a BCS bowl won’t be too rough for Notre Dame.

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, Clausen appeared to have control of the offense and “didn’t look out of place.” Wow, that’s quite the endorsement. Well he only completed 3 passes but look on the bright side, at least he looked like he knew what zip code he was in.

The Sun-Times reported that Weis hopes to have the QB race narrowed to two by the end of May, and my guess is that Jimmy Clausen, and his god awful hair, will be one of them.

63 responses to “Uh-Oh.”

  1. the butler Avatar
    the butler

    he could really hurt somebody with that dome.

  2. boochiegilchrist Avatar
    boochiegilchrist

    Leave Clausen3 alone.

    He’s the only Clausen bro that has any hair.

  3. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    I am sure he was tired from have Bob Tebow Curtis Leak Daddy Clausen coaching his skinny ass

  4. D Avatar
    D

    Beano Cook reported that Clausen was 22-22 with 17 TDs. He then went on to say that Notre Dame was crowned the Spring Game National Champions, even though they only played against themselves.

  5. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    He also played with a sac over his head and after the game punched a mexican in the face

  6. Dave Avatar
    Dave

    Someone pulled his sack over his head? Ouch

  7. Chuck Avatar
    Chuck

    Ga Tech (ACC div Champs), U of M (Big 10 Runner-Up), Penn St (Beat SEC team in their Bowl Game), USC (Rose Bowl Winner), UCLA (Beat USC and went to Bowl Game), Navy (Bowl Team – came up just short against BC). USC and U of M (Both Top 10 Teams). Please find me a team with a similar schedule from last year with 6 bowl teams including 2 top 10 teams. There were weak spots in the schedule (MSU, Purdue, Stanford, UNC, Air Force, Army), but you’ll find that with almost any team. Michigan played 2 MAC schools (barely beating Ball St.), Vanderbilt, Indiana, Northwestern (lost to Div II team), and MSU. As far as Clausen is concerned, he played well during the Blue/Gold Game. The QB’s alternated each series so came in every other series on offense. He also had some balls that were dropped. They also focused on the run game more than anything else during the scrimmage. Not saying Clausen is going to be great or bad based on a 3 for 7 game.

  8. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Let’s not forget that young Jimmy could need Tommy John surgery soon…

  9. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Patrick

    Deadspin hit

  10. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Irish Jihad prepare for the onslaught of pissed off domers

  11. CW Avatar
    CW

    Agree with comment “7” that it seems rather silly to call Notre Dame’s schedule laughable when it includes games against Penn State, Michigan, Boston College, Southern Cal, UCLA and Georgia Tech, all teams that should be in the Top 25 range for the season. There aren’t many teams that face a top six like that.

  12. b-rad Avatar
    b-rad

    get a life Jai Eugene, seriously

  13. ryan mallett Avatar
    ryan mallett

    clausen is an emu

    https://www.spreadshirt.com/shop.php?op=article&article_id=1951475&PHPSESSID=0f54e7d5504a40b93a433f3ed483f831

  14. Taco Bell Soft Tacos Avatar
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos

    That’s bullshit about the ND schedule. They still have a cream-puff schedule compared to SEC schools.

    Look at Ole Piss…
    Mizzou, Kentucky, Wake, UGA, Bama, Arkansas, Auburn, and LSU all went to bowl games (Ole Miss also lucked out and didn’t have to play the Geightors, UT, or SC from the East).

    And remember the Rebels are the Chicago Cubs of the SEC. If one of the shittiest SEC teams have 8 opponents that reached bowls then I think ND should schedule just as many, if not more.

  15. JohnSpartan Avatar
    JohnSpartan

    piss poor post. ND plays a tough schedule, one of the better ones in the nation and 7 passes in a spring game isnt exactly a great sample size…what if he had completed 2 more to be 5-7, he’d be great then?

    i just clicked over here from deadspin…can’t say im too impressed.

  16. Taco Bell Soft Tacos Avatar
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos

    Oh yeah, and Ole Piss played LSU a hell of a lot closer than ND did. Fucking Irish.

  17. Gern Blanski Avatar
    Gern Blanski

    Here u go Chuck … In 2007, Georgia will play 9 bowl teams (Okla. St., South Carolina, Alabama, Tennessee, Florida, Troy St., Auburn, Kentucky, and Ga Tech.) 6 of these 9 won their bowl game last season (OSU, USC, UF, Troy, Auburn, KY.) 3 teams finished in the Top 25 (UT, UF, Auburn.) Two finished in the Top 10 (Auburn, UF.) Those darn Gators won the NC last year. Oh yeah, Georgia plays 6 of those bowl teams EVERY year.

  18. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Tongue my damn balls, Spartan John. Domers are almost as bad as Gators….

    In case anyone forgot about “Courageous” Brady Quinn’s final game, enjoy this: Hit me like Jo-Jo the Dog Face Boy

  19. GatorFan14 Avatar
    GatorFan14

    Just listing bowl teams played doesn’t mean a whole lot when every BCS conference team that goes 6-6 gets invited, meaning they get to play four creampuffs then get two wins against the dregs of the conference and play in the postseason.

    Good question: If he’s 5-7, he’s a Heisman winner? Stupid post.

  20. Stephen Newell Avatar
    Stephen Newell

    Let’s just say we in Tennessee are glad we don’t have to endure yet another Klutzy Klausen.

  21. hbdinwid Avatar
    hbdinwid

    Attn: Notre Dame Fans

    You will have four years of telling yourself that Jimmy Clausen is a good quarterback. He will produce in the weirdest ways and do it with little or no emotion at all. You won’t like him. You will grow to despise him. You will find yourself defending him and pull out the lamest stats. And you will be glad when he is gone. Remember though, he is not. We spent six years with his brothers, TweedleDee and TweedleFuckFace, at Tennessee. Not only did they have the personalities of a fridge but their arms were as limp as their dicks. When we got rid of Casey, it was heaven sent…until we found out his balding dipshit brother with the Johnny Damon arm transferred. To tell you the truth, I am happy as shit UT didn’t even go after him. So enjoy the emu. It is a long road ahead.

  22. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Damon’s arm is not that weak

  23. the butler Avatar
    the butler

    wow. sounds like a certain team is a little touchy when it comes to their weak ass schedules.

    Oooohhh! You have to play the ACC champs who just lost the best player in college football to the Draft…

    AND NAVY!

  24. bigpapi Avatar
    bigpapi

    Trust me, Jai. Damon’s arm makes Rick Clausen arm look like a Howitzer.

  25. Phat Phil Avatar
    Phat Phil

    2004: ND 17-UT 13
    2005 ND 41- UT 21

  26. Mark Avatar
    Mark

    If ND played in the SEC, they’d never go 10-2 overall….. wouldn’t happen. 8-4 more likely. And thus would never sniff a BCS bowl game. This is why they’ll stay independent….. beat all the cream puffs, go .500 the rest of the way, and go to a BCS bowl.

    Case in point, last year get blown out by Michigan, USC and LSU. 3 really good teams. Quality wins last year. Georgia Tech? UCLA?
    When is the last time ND won a bowl game. Was Ara in charge?

    I do think ND should be eligible for the Commanders-In-chief trophy.

  27. Dr. Evil Avatar
    Dr. Evil

    lol at ND fans getting all mad. THis is classic, the morons fell for it. bahhahahaah

  28. Billy B Avatar
    Billy B

    All I know is ND is always overrated and Johnny Damon throws like a girl.

  29. paultanner Avatar
    paultanner

    Uh, he went 3/7 in a goddam practice in April. Are you serious with this bullshit? Paul Tanner sucks. We have been linked by deadspin 27 times, thanks Paul. I like our odds

  30. Volzown Avatar
    Volzown

    It is not God’s fault Clausen blows, paultanner.

  31. fdfdf Avatar
    fdfdf

    dfdfdfd

  32. M_M Avatar
    M_M

    SEC teams shouldn’t brag about their schedules, most of them refuse to play anyone out of conference that’s worth a damn and when they do they lose (see: Auburn/USC, Auburn/GT). Didn’t UGA play GA Southern a couple years ago? They’re a I-AA team!

    That being said, Notre Dame does have some tough opponents on their schedule but they usually get blown out by them. They’re just like Cal, they always inexplicably get credit for LOSING to good teams, then they go to a bowl against a good team and–guess what–lose.

    Beware FSU and Jimbo.

  33. patrickdonohue Avatar
    patrickdonohue

    I find it interesting that this post has generated this many hits. The point of the post wasn’t to say that Clausen was going to suck. Because I think in Weis’ offense and Notre Dame’s schedule (yeah, it’s weak Domers, deal with it), he’ll put up some decent numbers. The point was that Clausen didn’t come out and light the world on fire. BECAUSE HE DIDN’T. The dude completed three passes. That’s it. He completed three passes and Notre Dame fans are lying to themselves if they say they weren’t underwhelmed by his performance because they know in their hearts that they don’t want to see Fraser, Sharpley or Jones. They want to see Clausen. And as far as their schedule goes, I stand behind what I said. The schedule’s weak. You just cannot count BC as a tough game or Georgia Tech, without their top play maker. Ditto for Penn State, Moretti’s a mess. And UCLA? In the words of Rev. Run, “you’re reachin’.” You can’t count UCLA as a quality opponent because they beat a USC team that went on cruise control the last week of the season and barely made a bowl game. A bowl game, let’s keep in mind, where they were dominated by a Florida State team, the same 7-6 ‘Noles team that was Bowden’s worst since 1976. In short, Clausen underwhelmed expectations, maybe it wasn’t his fault and Notre Dame’s schedule is SOFT.

  34. lord123 Avatar
    lord123

    let us make a good job, support the needy

  35. Jeff from LA Avatar
    Jeff from LA

    Poster Number 7, you’re right, that is a darn hard question, what other team had 6 bowl teams? That one’s really hard…..I don’t think anyone in the history of football has played 6 bowl teams in one season.

    Oh wait, let’s try USC. Arkansas, SEC West division winner. Nebraska, Big 12 North winner. California (creamed A&M). Oregon State ranked 21 in the AP, bowl team. Michigan (ranked #3 when USC played them). UCLA (bowl team). Oregon, bowl team. Notre Dame (not so great BCS team).

    According to my count, that is apparently, EIGHT bowl teams. I’d add Florida to my list as well, as well as probably LSU. So please don’t bring that crap about how your 6 bowl team schedule is unique enough that it justifies ND filling the rest of your schedule with all of the naval academies.

  36. Jeff from LA Avatar
    Jeff from LA

    By adding FL/LSU to my list, I mean 6 bowl team schedules.

  37. Jeff from LA Avatar
    Jeff from LA

    My bad, Arizona State also made it to a bowl. I guess that means NINE of the teams USC played went to a bowl.

  38. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    I thought that Paul Tanner was out of line. So I changed his stupid comment

    Patrick Donohue is our most serious sober grounded and sane author. He is the anti-loser with socks

  39. cincinnatibowtie Avatar
    cincinnatibowtie

    John Spartan you are fined one credit for violation of the verbal morality statute.

  40. Side Avatar
    Side

    Jeff from LA,

    THANK YOU!

  41. irishdevil Avatar
    irishdevil

    Notre Dame’s schedules are typically among the toughest in the country. Even last year, a down year, the various computer polls ranked ND’s schedule as th 6th, 18th, 31st, 19th, and 23rd toughest in the nation. Not insanely difficult, but still tougher than a large majority of bowl-caliber BCS conference teams. (The outlier 31st ranking was from Colley, who idiotically ignores games scheduled against I-AA teams, thus inflating SOS for virtually every SEC team, and many other BCS teams.)

    Here are some of the historical SOS for ND, where available, beginning from last year and going back as far as I could find. no selective data mining here.

    Sagarin: 18-14-5-1-14-14-36-10-36
    Colley (which again, is about as dumb as it comes for not penalizing teams that play I-AA opponents): 31-48-7-2-18-21-19-13-61
    A&H: 23-42-7-2-13-14

    So ND plays one of the 15 toughest schedules about every other year on average, occasionally the toughest (or damn close), and about one in four years plays a schedule outside the top 30 (although generally not by much). The average four year breakdown is: one top 10 SOS, one 10-15, one between 15-25, and one between 30-45. I would be suprised if any BCS schools outside of USC can boast of a better track record, and if more than a few have a similar one. Add in the fact that ND is scheduling 10 years in advance most times (due to its independence), and the athletic department does a pretty good job of guessing what will make for a good, competitive schedule.

    We play Navy every year because they (not the academy, the actual Navy) basically saved ND from going bankrupt during WWII. We’ve played Army, a historical rival, three times in the last 22 years, and AF three times since Holtz was coach (Holtz played them almost every year). We play AF this year to finish the home-and-home, and then both AF and Army are off the schedules for the foreseeable future (at least through 2010, after which nothing about the schedules is public). The whole academies angle is overblown by a mile, on top of which people seem to fail to realize that AF and Navy are often bowl teams–much, much better than the directional schools and I-AA opponents that litter most BCS teams’ OOC schedules.

    Finally, as for the post itself stating that ND plays ‘another laughable schedule’ and should be able to coast to the BCS with a new starting QB, let’s look at next year’s. (We’ll ignore for the moment the misuse of the adjective ‘another’.) If anyone wants to trade their schedule of home games against a I-AA patsy, a directional school or three, and maybe a decent non-BCS school to start the season, I’ll take it. ND starts the season, without a bye: Georgia Tech, @ Penn State, @ Michigan, Michigan State, @ Purdue, @ UCLA, Boston College, USC. That stretch includes 4 OOC road games against BCS conference teams–most schools have one such game or fewer. Hardly the easy road for Clausen (or another new QB) to get used to the college game the author suggests.

    Not here to flame, so don’t bother flaming back. Just wanted to offer some actual facts regarding ND’s schedules, both historical and for next year. I am genuinely curious if other schools can even come close to matching this track record, again, outside of USC.

  42. canoe Avatar
    canoe

    w1

  43. santoshpal Avatar
    santoshpal

    sfasdgsaf

  44. Mike White Avatar
    Mike White

    Stats in the Spring game means very little, if anything. For example, the statistics say that after the UNC Spring Game, TJ Yates should be the starting QB (he was 10 of 15 with 3 touchdowns), but he isn’t being given the starting job by Butch Davis just yet. And no matter what happened in that game, no matter how good the defensive line looked, the fact is that the team was playing against themselves. For UNC, this means we would be impressed with 6-6 or 7-5 this season.

    Of course, Notre Dame has very unrealistic expectations. Remember that this guy has yet to take a snap in a meaningful college football game, and until he does we have no idea how he’ll pan out. Still, no matter who’s playing QB in 2007, the Irish are going to get crushed by USC. And this dude has horrible hair. But if his brothers (Casey, Rick) are an indication, he should flaunt his hair now, because in 5 years he’ll be balding.

  45. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Which parent passes the bad hair gene? Anyone?

  46. Mike White Avatar
    Mike White

    I think both of your parents need to have bad hair genes for lightning to strike three times like that.

  47. Marketing Team Avatar
    Marketing Team

    i think you will be glad when he is gone.

    Vcare call center

  48. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    I wonder if Nick Saban’s parents had thick lustrous hair too. Saban has the best damn hair in sports today

  49. Gern Blanski Avatar
    Gern Blanski

    Hey MM – Georgia did play GA Southern a few years back. Their coach at the time was Paul Johnson, ever heard of him? He is the coach now at Navy who ND plays EVERY year.

    He probably had better talent at Sourthern. But why nitpick about one team on UGA schedule from several years ago? Why not address the fact that UGA is playing 9 bowl teams and 6 bowl winners in 2007? I am not knocking ND schedule, it is hard. But do not make it out to be the hardest in the country. There are plenty of other teams in 2007 with more difficult schedules.

  50. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Gern

    Whip up on UGA’s OOC SOS. They suck

  51. muralidharanm Avatar
    muralidharanm

    feel so shitty

  52. KJ Avatar
    KJ

    Georgia tried to get Texas (I believe) and Ohio State to play us at the start of the season, but neither team would agree to a home-and-home deal. They only wanted UGA on their field as a one-off. We wouldn’t do it (like Notre Dame would even consider it). So we had to settle for Oklahoma State, which isn’t too shabby. SEC schedule is the toughest in my opinion. And Notre Dame does balance it’s tough Big 10/Pac 10 games with challenges against very, very weak teams. It’s a cream puff schedule, I say.

  53. irishdevil Avatar
    irishdevil

    For Gern/Jai:

    Here it is. And indeed, UGA’s SOS does suck. Pains me to say as I grew up with Bulldog bed covers and still root for the Dawgs over anyone but ND. But under Dooley, they scheduled like scared little girls. Thankfully, it looks like Damon Evans is willing to face at least one legit BCS OOC opponent (plus GT) each year.

    Sagarin: 24-49-41-5-24-48-33-33-48
    Colley: 25-43-20-17-9-44-43-45-32 (and, again, that is without being penalized in those years they schedule a I-AA team)
    A/H: 28-29-31-12-38-35-53-29

    That said, I have the sense the Bulldogs are fairly representative of elite BCS teams in terms of scheduling.

    For the Clausen Haters (it’s a bit premature, no?): he got a haircut. No more emu, at least for now.

    For Jeff from LA: if you count the bowl opponent itself (as you did by including UM), then ND played 7 bowl teams last year. The original poster’s point was about scheduling bowl teams. But still, your larger point is correct: many, many BCS teams last season played 6 bowl teams (probably just about every SEC, Big 10 or Big 12 opponent who played a decent OOC game meets that standard, due to all the conference bowl tie-ins). Besides, fans should be more worried about beating bowl teams than playing them.

    For Patrick Donohue: the Irish schedule this year is not soft (much less the dreaded all-caps soft), nor have the schedules been laughable in recent years. An Irish lad such as yourself should know better. If you want to hate the Irish, that’s fine, but at least have some facts to back it up.

  54. Not thinking straight Avatar
    Not thinking straight

    that is one bad barnett !

  55. Joseph Avatar
    Joseph

    Funny how some players are cocky and it’s considered to be confidence, while others show confidence and they get harassed for it.

    Does race have something to do with it ?!?

  56. bigpapi Avatar
    bigpapi

    It does with me Joseph…I’m racist against dudes that look like emu.

  57. Gern Blanski Avatar
    Gern Blanski

    Irish Devil –

    UGA’s SOS last year was just one behind ND – 24th. Also, the issue is not about past schedules but who is on next year’s docket.

    There are 9 bowl teams on UGA’s schedule next year. That is 3 more than Chuck touted on ND’s schedule. In 2007, every SEC team has at least 6 bowl teams on the schedule. UT, UF, Vandy, Miss. St., & LSU all play 8. UK, USC, Auburn and Bama play 7. Ole Miss and Arkansas just play 6.

  58. negropontesnuts Avatar
    negropontesnuts

    Jesus is an over-rated footballer. He had good combine times coming out of college but he dropped key passes and his weak knees kept his defenders close at hand.

    Jesus can’t hold Jerry Rice’s jock strap.

  59. irishdevil Avatar
    irishdevil

    Gern:

    UGA’s second strongest schedule since 2000 was almost as strong as ND’s weakest or second weakest, depending upon the SOS method you use (and in fairness, if you use Colley, UGA’s schedule was stronger). Not to be mean, but what’s your point? Mine is that ND has not historically played “laughable” schedules and that the slate for next year is not soft, as the post author and several others suggest (and in my second post, that UGA typically has had really sad schedules due to terrible OOC games, which as a UGA fan , I hate and hope will change due to the efforts KJ describes).

    I only offered UGA since a couple people had asked about it and I was curious myself. To the extent I was comparing them to ND, it was just to show that a fairly typical BCS team’s schedule trails ND’s when looked at over a period of years.

    Also, Chuck was discussing last year’s schedule (and even then, he missed one bowl team: Purdue). If you want to talk next year, ND plays 8 bowl teams (GT, @ Penn State, @ Michigan, Purdue, @ UCLA, @ BC, USC, and Navy), as many as anyone in the SEC except UGA, which, again, I am happy to see is finally scheduling decently. The trip to Colorado next fall will be the Dawgs first trip outside the Southeast in something like 50 or 60 years, and I welcome that change.

  60. Taco Bell Soft Tacos Avatar
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos

    Who gives a shit who UGA played? ND got ass raped by the two decent teams they played last season.

  61. Knute Rocks Me Avatar
    Knute Rocks Me

    Michigan, USC and LSU are anal rapists. Notre Dame should join the Big East. Weak teams that play the same brand of mediocre football.

  62. Mary Avatar
    Mary

    porcupine! 😛

  63. Brian Avatar
    Brian

    The thing that I love about this is that the argument changes every time someone blows up one argument. You say Notre Dame schedules weakly. It’s pointed out in a reasonable way that you’re wrong. So the argument becomes, “Oh Yeah, well you lost to the two or three decent teams you played.”

    Yes. Notre Dame did lose to the three top 10 teams it played. First, I’d love to see a team that didn’t lose to the top 10 teams they played outside of the top 10. I’m sure there are a few, but not many. To say they lost to the only “decent” teams is a bit of a stretch. Remember that Penn St. beat a “vaunted” SEC team in their bowl game. UCLA beat USC. And Georgia Tech was one win away from the ACC championship. I’m not going to put any of those three teams in the “elite” group, but if they’re not “decent,” then I’m not sure exactly what “decent” means.

    The other thing that others don’t ever take into account is that conference teams HAVE to play a certain number of bowl teams. IF there are 14 teams in a conference and they all play about 9 conference games, then well..the way that logic works, you’re left with teams in the middle of the coference that have to be around .500. That’s not really to speak of the quality of those teams. If you were to put Florida, LSU, and every team from the MAC, you’d still have 6 or so bowl teams. THe only way to truly know if a conference is good or not, then, is for teams to play outside of conference. And, well, many of the BCS conference teams (aside from USC and most of the PAC ten) don’t play anyone out of conference. Remember that the SEC wasn’t doing so well in its bowl games until LSU and UF won…and it’d be hard to say that they weren’t elite teams. ON the converse, the two great teams in the Big Ten perhaps showed that their greatness was a result of an overrated conference rather than their own greatness. ND doesn’t have that luxury. They play teams from most conferences. And while sometimes, that means they play a lot of teams that finish in the middle or bottom half of their conference. At least they play some major conference teams.

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