Review of “Bama Profiles in Courage: Laykin”: (Capers) Barr flexes through an emotional range that most writers would never dare attempt … Humor and Bama sorrow are fused together like twined tree trunks that keep each other standing…..It’s part satire, part character study, with a wry lens on fame, fandom, and the modern South. Well done, Capers, well done.”– Ian Allen, The Times Literary Supplement.

[Day One of Myer’s testimony]

{Meyer continues his push for marijuana legalization by answering questions from various senators}

Marijuana use is increasing to such an extent that it has become the cause for the greatest SEC and National Championship concern. In football, the Defensive Tackle is taught that without munchies he would be like a one-armed man. That is true, because you cannot get along without doritos. But here we have a drug that is not like opium. Opium has all of the good of Dr. Jekyll and all the evil of Mr. Hyde. Marijuana suspensions are entirely the monster Hyde, the harmful effect of which cannot be measured.

TANNER: I want to be certain what this is. Is this the same weed that grows wild in some of our western states which is sometimes called the loco weed?

MEYER: No, sir; that is another family.

TANNER: That is also a harmful drug-producing weed, is it not?

MEYER: Not to my knowledge. It is not used by my players.

CHAIRMAN: In what particular sections does this weed grow wild?

MEYER: In almost every state in the Union today.

REED: What you are describing is a plant which as a rather large flower?

MEYER: No, sir. A very small flower.

REED: It is not Indian hemp?

MEYER: It is Indian hemp. We have some specimens here.
(Anslinger raises stalks from adjacent chair and places them on the table)

VINSON: When was this brought to your attention as being a menace among your players?

MEYER: About the opening of the 2006 season- Marcus Thomas failed two urinalyses but I found a way to keep him eligible

VINSON: Why did you wait until the Tennessee Game to bring in a recommendation of this kind?

MEYER: As I said yesterday, I had to suspend players for the cupcakes on our schedule. I certainly could not suspend my entire D-Line for Tennessee, Alabama or LSU, could I? That would have been madness. It is unreasonable to suspend a player for coming up “hot” on a urinalysis is crazy. It has grown like wildfire, but it has only become a national menace in the last three years. It is only in the last two years that we have had to send reports about it to the SEC Main Offices.

McCormack: What are its first manifestations, a feeling of grandeur and self-exaltation, and things of that sort?

MEYER: It affects different individuals in different ways. Some individuals have a complete less of a sense of time or a sense of value. They lose the sense of place. Marcus Thomas reported an increased feeling of physical strength and power. Some people will fly into a delirious rage, and they are temporarily irresponsible and may commit violent crimes. Jarvis Moss will laugh uncontrollably. It is impossible to say what the effect will be on any individual. Those research men who have tried it have always been under control. They have always insisted upon that.

McCormack: Is it used by the regular students, the ones at school who really are there for a degree?

MEYER: yes, it is. It is dangerous to the mind and body and particularly dangerous to the student type because it releases all of the inhibitions. But, I would prefer not to discuss “regular students”. They have no bearing on my life.

DINGELL: What is the price of marijuana?

MEYER: The addict pays anywhere from 10 to 25 cents per cigarette. It will be sold by the cigarette. In illicit traffic the buying price would be around $20 per pound. Legitimately, the bulk is around $2 per pound.

Dingell: How does that compare with the price of opium or morphine? Do the class of people who use this drug use it because it is cheaper than the other kinds?

MEYER: That is one reason, yes, sir. To be a morphine or heroin addict it would cost you from $5 to $6 a day to maintain your supply. But if you want to smoke a cigarette you pay 10 cents.

McCormack: Just one of them will knock the socks off you.

MEYER: One of them can make you lose your socks.

McCORMACK: Some of those cigarettes are sold much cheaper than 10 cents, are they not? In other words, it is a low-priced cigarette, and that is one of the reasons for the tremendous increase in its use.

MEYER: Yes, it is low enough in price for Bull Gators or  Boosters and Athletes to buy it.

McCORMACK: And they have parties in different parts of the Athletic complex that they call “reefer parties?  How about this photo of a Gator athlete at a party?

MEYER: Yes, Sir; we have heard of them, and know of them.  I have to allow my players to party without fear of prosecution.

MEYER: Another thing is that they will not be able to get other kinds of dope, but they do have an opportunity to get this marijuana, which causes it to be so much sought after and used in the community.

MEYER: That is true, and the effect is just passed by word of mouth, and everybody wants to try it.

CHAIRMAN: Coach Meyer, at this time the committee would like to thank you for your time and call upon another witness before our adjournment today. I will, however, ask for you to be available to this committee for any further testimony during the remainder of hearings on this matter.

(MEYER nods and proceeds to assemble his visual aids of Bongs, Rolling Papers and Bags of Dorito Chips.)

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