( Powe can’t read the Logo on the field. He thinks he is at LSU)
(Special to LWS. From commenter Taco Bell)
By now everyone has probably gotten the word that future Rhodes Scholar, Jerrell Powe has been ruled ineligible again by the NCAA. Oh for motherfuckin’ Three! [related link]
Powe released this statement via email in regards to the NCAA cock-blocking him again:
Whf skdl jfhal kygqouir laweiuhfwh8f lasdhf lkjdsfh lafhsdfj hal(*^%57hlasdkjfh. –JP
No one should be surprised by this, as the 6’3″, 335 lbs DT isn’t exactly a mental giant. What is surprising is the Ole Miss administration and the army of attorneys that sport the COL Reb Ole Miss Script tie clips have failed for the third time to get the NCAA to clear Powe. This is the same NCAA that cleared prolific academic types in the past like Pacman Jones (shit, anyone at WVU), Chris WonderLeak, and current Tim “Home School High, 890 SAT” Tebow but “The Man” will not let Powe play.
If you are like Ole Miss homer Erik at Deepsouthsports.net (don’t forget my money, homey), you are probably asking yourself, “why is The Man keeping Powe and The 0 down?” Well here is why, from Powe’s own interview, “I had a 2.0 GPA and a 15 on the ACT.”
Read that again…
2.0 GPA
15 ACT
Let’s look at these killer academic stats separately. A 15 on the ACT. The 2004 US Average was 20.9. Okay, chalk up Powe getting Shawshanked by the ACT to those rigorous Mississippi public schools, right? You would be more wrong than wearing a Mike Vick jersey to a PETA meeting if you assumed that. The Mississippi state average was still 18.8 (lowest of the 50 states, only DC sucked more). Powe scored nearly 4 points lower than the dumbest state’s average. And he probably got a little “help” on his test due to his dyslexia or whatever bull shit he claims. I doubt there is a doctor in Wayne County with the ability to spell dyslexia let alone diagnose it.
15 on the ACT, very horrid, but still looks good compared to his 2.0 GPA. Take this into consideration: How many of those classes Powe took in high school were PE, Gym, Weightlifting (AKA Health), or taught by coaches? And he still got a 2.0 GPA. He was the big man on campus, so you know he got a little athlete’s curve from the teachers and the neurosurgeon still only scored 2.0. Damn… What has a higher GPA and ACT score than Powe? This
Two Three years wasted. Why was his ass not sent to a JUCO to get his shit together?
Here is the answer. Absolute genius, or Bat Shit Crazy, one of the two. He could have been spending the last two years at BFE Community College getting his learn on, but no. “Fuck it,” say Ole Miss fans, “we’ll sue The Man’s ass thru the Americans With Disabilities Act. Typical Ole Miss “My daddy’s a lawyer, don’t fuck with me” course of action from Mascot-less. I doubt anyone outside of Oxford is holding their breath over this last ditch attempt. So it’s likely the closest Powe will come to getting to play in Oxford this year is thru his Create-A-Player on NCAA 08.
Someone tell The 0 and Powe that there are more letters in the alphabet than just X and O. Hell, I doubt The 0 knows X exists by some of his play calling. And Ole Miss fans wonder why the football team gets outscored by the baseball team…
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