This weekend Penn State plays Notre Dame. You can almost feel the earthy and sensual excitement creeping into Beano’s loins. Games like Notre Dame vs Penn State require extra special preparation. This game will be extra-extra special because Jimmy Clausen is starting for the Domers. How does Beano prepare for a game of this magnitude? Here is what we learned:

The Beano Cook “Perfect Storm” Tailgate is comprised of the following items:

• Black Socks
• Quality mescaline
• Wife Beater Tee Shirt
• A JoePa Toll Booth Operator Windbreaker Jacket
• A set of JoePa tinted specs from the set of Donnie Brasco (ht tips)
• Depending on who is on offense, either a PSU or an Notre Dame Adams helmet with an Oakley sun visor (Can’t …see..his…eyes)
• A pair of Jimmy Clausen Speedos (unlaundered and ‘soiled’)
• A YouTube of Appy State’s block of Michigan’s FG (Stuck on endless repeat for heightened stimulation)
• A Penn State/Notre Dame House Divided Flag
• An 8X10 Mens Health Mag with Courageous Brady Quinn on the cover
• GoJo hand moisturizer with Pumice
• A Bunk Sock (Link)
• Penis Floss
• A quiet semi-dark room to “watch”

Beano prefers to sit in a semi-dark quiet room clad only in the “uniform” outlined above. If Beano is feeling “right”, he imagines going old school greco-roman grappling with Lou Holtz.

Check out Beano’s impact on the SEC tailgates. These devout Vols fans are now checking and rechecking their Perfect Storm Tailgates in anticipation of this week’s game against Southern Miss.

In the photo (HT Ty Shock) one can see the influence of Beano Cook. These Vols fans are partying with a “Its Football Time in Tennessee” magazine; a Coach Trooper Taylor bobblehead; 2006 JUCO Stats; a spittoon; Tinted Specs; black socks; and of course the standard issue “Bunk Sock”. These hedonistic Cromptonites (Backup QB Jon Crompton Groupies) are free-styling with a latex glove, a cat, a Crompton #8 Pin and a video of a Tennessee wide receiver.