Andy Katz? Jay Bilas? Dick Vitale? Screw those guys. They may have the notoriety but this is what you’ve been waiting for…The 2007 edition of the Loser With Socks Preseason Top 10. We’ve got two teams from the state of Tennessee, 3 teams that Kentucky fans despise, and no fucking Dukies.

1. Memphis- There is actually a billboard up in Memphis proclaiming their preseason #1 ranking by cbssportsline. What am I going to get? I want a freaking billboard too. Hell I’ll settle for a flyer above one of the urinals in Rendezvous. Seriously, what’s not to love about this team? They are incredibly deep and athletic, 2 for sure 1st round picks with Derrick Rose and Chris Douglas-Roberts (one of the most underrated players in college basketball), and a future NBA bench warmer that loves to make it rain. Any time a team this good has a starter making it rain in the Plush Club, you’re getting the nod at number 1…plus I want a billboard.

2. North Carolina- Duke’s Gerald Henderson showed last year that you can’t stop Tyler Hansbrough even if you cave in his face. The kid is a big, ugly, white, bloody, double-double machine that wasn’t born, but sprouted from the sweat on Kevin McHale’s Celtic nut-huggers. Throw in a top 5 PG in Ty Lawson and a tremendous supporting cast with Wayne Ellington and Deon Thompson (stepped up huge for the USA team this summer) and you’ve got a team ready to play deep into March.

3. Kansas- Arguably the most talented team in the country. A phenomenal back court with Russell Robinson, Mario Chalmers, and Sherron Collins. If Darrell Arthur can live up to his billing and Brandon Rush can recover from a torn ACL, then there is no excuse for this team not to be in the Final Four. Only one problem…Bill Self may be the worst postseason coach since Jerry “I had no idea Brendan Haywood fouled out” Green. Since taking over for Roy Williams 3 years ago, the Jayhawks have changed their rally cry to “Rock, Chalk, First Round Loss”, blowing games first-round games to Bradley and Bucknell in consecutive years. Watch out for Belmont this year.

4. UCLA- Great coach, dynamic PG, great wing, highly-touted incoming freshman center but sorely hurting in the depth department. There is a major drop-off after Collison and Shipp. Look for Mr. Conservative Ben Howland to have this team as one of the best and most boring teams out there. That’s how they win so many games, their opponent has been bored to death by halftime. I challenge any of you to try to stay awake during a UCLA game. Anyone successful receives my Losers with Socks paycheck.

5. Tennessee- The Big Orange Winning Machine. One player gone from a team that was up by 17 in the Sweet 16. They bring in one of the best freshmen from last season not named Oden or Durant. You’re getting pressed from the moment they get off the bus until Bruce Pearl rips his shirt off in the locker room after the game. And don’t forget…they have this guy…

6. Louisville- Kentucky fans are probably ready to shoot themselves (well after they’re done blowing Coach Billy D.U.-yde)…The Vols and Louisville both in the top 10 and the Cats can’t even sniff the top 25. The Cards are big and fast (that’s what she said) but are lacking legitimate threat from 3. But if Derrick Caracter, who’s just a hair skinnier than Matthew Stafford (God he’s fat), can avoid eating Edgar Sosa and someone can make some shots, then Pitino has got a dangerous squad.

7. Georgetown- Roy Hibbert is probably the best center in the country, they have a solid back court, and an incredible coach with John Thompson III. They are going to have trouble replacing Jeff Green, last years Big East Player of the Year. Look for sophomore DaJuan Summers to try to step up and fill those shoes. I don’t have any jokes about this team. My question…has anyone ever settle the “What the hell’s a Hoya?” argument? Seriously…I have no idea. It’s definitely not a fucking bulldog. I don’t think a team should be able to compete for championships if their fans can’t even explain what their mascot is supposed to be.

8. Michigan State- Drew Neitzel may be the best guard in the country not named Chris Lofton, but good God, the kid looks like he’s been through 3 rounds of chemo. I mean look at him…

Does he even have eyebrows?

9. Washington State- Before last season, the Cougars were so bad for so long, I didn’t even realize they had a team, of course they play in the Pac-10 so I never really gave a shit anyway. But they’ve thrown away their doormat past and now are an experienced team (return 9 of their top 10 scorers from last season) with a great coach…but I still don’t really give a shit.

10. Indiana- Enjoy this season Hoosier fan. Eric Gordon is an all-world player but he’s NBA bound after this season. And with Kelvin Sampson as your coach, you’re headed for probation pretty soon anyway.