Loser with Socks

Mountain Damn Values from the Paint Rock River Valley

Review of “Bama Profiles in Courage: Laykin”: (Capers) Barr flexes through an emotional range that most writers would never dare attempt … Humor and Bama sorrow are fused together like twined tree trunks that keep each other standing…..It’s part satire, part character study, with a wry lens on fame, fandom, and the modern South. Well done, Capers, well done.”– Ian Allen, The Times Literary Supplement.

,

The $100 Dollar Handshake….Bammeroid Style

When Bear and Jesus look down at the T-Town Ghetto from Heaven, are they happy or do they throw up with what has become of the Bammer Nation? Will the newest Captain of the Titanic, Nick Saban, bring UAT back to the glory years of our father and grandfathers? Sure they may not be a…

Capers Barr
1–2 minutes

When Bear and Jesus look down at the T-Town Ghetto from Heaven, are they happy or do they throw up with what has become of the Bammer Nation?

Will the newest Captain of the Titanic, Nick Saban, bring UAT back to the glory years of our father and grandfathers? Sure they may not be a player nationally any longer but by God they have an ass-load of National Championships years ago…just like the Vandy’s and Colgate’s and Army’s all of those teams use to be great centuries long gone.

Look below at these stats from the SEC, is it coincidence that the SEC league offices are in Birmingham? Take a look as Bama takes the first step in her return to glory.

Holy Shit, I bet Bear is smiling.

PENALTIES G No Yds Avg/G
——————————————
1. Vanderbilt………. 9 44 344 38.2
2. Alabama…………. 9 46 373 41.4
3. Ole Miss………… 10 63 455 45.5
4. South Carolina…… 10 59 456 45.6
5. Tennessee……….. 9 52 429 47.7
6. Mississippi State… 9 52 449 49.9
7. Georgia…………. 9 59 457 50.8
8. Auburn………….. 10 65 515 51.5
9. Kentucky………… 9 51 473 52.6
10.Arkansas………… 9 49 475 52.8
11.Florida…………. 9 69 526 58.4
12.LSU…………….. 9 83 639 71.0

OPPONENT PENALTIES G No Yds Avg/G
——————————

1. Alabama…………. 9 77 658 73.1
2. Mississippi State… 9 68 564 62.7
3. Auburn………….. 10 73 574 57.4
4. South Carolina…… 10 66 557 55.7
5. Ole Miss………… 10 68 554 55.4
6. Georgia…………. 9 58 466 51.8
7. Tennessee……….. 9 59 452 50.2
8. Kentucky………… 9 54 440 48.9
9. Arkansas………… 9 54 422 46.9
10.Florida…………. 9 56 419 46.6
11.Vanderbilt………. 9 56 413 45.9
12.LSU…………….. 9 37 272 30.2

8 responses to “The $100 Dollar Handshake….Bammeroid Style”

  1. Croomed! Avatar
    Croomed!

    Ya know Jai, you are right. Alabama will never beat a good team ever agin. They will just have to be satisfied beating has-beens that haven’t won a championship in a decade like Tennessee by 24 points annually.

  2. Croomed! Avatar
    Croomed!

    By the by, when you talk about Colgate and Army and all those champions of long ago that no longer win . . .time to add the Vols. Bama has a championship more recently than UT. And as long as the Fatman reigns in Knoxville, UT will never win one again. Of course, UT won’t ever win one again after Fat Phil either, but it is nice to have him to use as an excuse . . . .

  3. Joel Avatar
    Joel

    “Bama has a championship more recently than UT”

    Really??? Tennessee won the National Championship in ’98. Alabama last won the National Championship in ’92…

    Hell, even Tennessee has won a “Fulmer Cup” more recently than Alabama. Now if you count probations from the NCAA, Alabama has won multiple titles. Nothin’ says luvin’ more than a pie stuffed with Benjamin’s in a recruit’s oven…

  4. Croomed! Avatar
    Croomed!

    Joel – check your records. Even the immortal Mike DuBose won an SEC championship at Alabama as recently as 1999 – which is more recently that UT has won anything.

    Yes Alabama has been down a long time – without a conference title in 8 long years – almost as long as UT has been without one.

    Notice I said ‘almost” and that is a fact – this blog could use more facts and less vulgarity-laden bluster.

  5. Joel Avatar
    Joel

    OK, I’ll give you the SEC title. I almost forgot about “Secretary’s Day” DuBose. I try to go off of memory instead of doing a google search every time I wanna comment…

  6. Taco Bell Soft Tacos Avatar
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos

    Don’t worry Bammeroids, UAT will always have women’s gymnastics.

  7. Ears Whitworth Avatar
    Ears Whitworth

    Do you DA’s not see that they are cheating again????
    The stats only support Jai’s claim. Teams are more likely to be penalized in T-Town. Wow, that is telling.

    Like an overloaded warp core Bama must be ejected into the void of independent status where they can do less harm,(or at least the Mountain West,where no one really cares what harm they do). Start a writing campaign to eject this infected program from our conference before it is too late. It all depends on you good people … I know you will do the right thing.

  8. Jesus Avatar
    Jesus

    Bammers?

    I hate to break this to you, but Bear isn’t here with me…..

Leave a Reply

Trending

Discover more from Loser with Socks

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading