Loser with Socks

Mountain Damn Values from New Mexico

Review of “Bama Profiles in Courage: Laykin”: (Capers) Barr flexes through an emotional range that most writers would never dare attempt … Humor and Bama sorrow are fused together like twined tree trunks that keep each other standing…..It’s part satire, part character study, with a wry lens on fame, fandom, and the modern South. Well done, Capers, well done.”– Ian Allen, The Times Literary Supplement.

Dear Florida

I am writing this post on September 15th, just hours after you smoked my beloved Vols, 59-20. I wanted to go ahead and congratulate you on another SEC East Championship, and quite possibly a National Title. I’m looking at your schedule, and it sets up well for you. Lowly Auburn in the Swamp, that will…

thegrillviper
1–2 minutes

I am writing this post on September 15th, just hours after you smoked my beloved Vols, 59-20.

I wanted to go ahead and congratulate you on another SEC East Championship, and quite possibly a National Title. I’m looking at your schedule, and it sets up well for you. Lowly Auburn in the Swamp, that will be a beating. LSU on the road will be tough, but Urban will find a way to win. Why I even mention the Georgia game, I have no idea. That will be yet another waxing of Helen Hunt’s Dawgs.

Yep, as much as I hate to admit it, Florida seems superior again this year. I look for Tennessee to finish 3rd, possibly 4th, and watching another Florida SEC Title game from the friendly confines of Stokley Athletic Center. I admire you for your “never say die” attitude, which is the reason another SEC East Crown is certain.

The thing I respect most about Florida, is their ability to handle the pressure that comes with controlling their destiny in the East. Once you gain the top spot, you put a chokehold on it that is only rivaled by Rowdy Roddy Piper. I can only wish that Tennessee could one day control it’s own destiny, stare down adversity, and come out victorious. Those are traits of an SEC Champion.

In closing, good luck Florida. Make the SEC proud as you battle an elite Big 10 team in the Outback Bowl. Tennessee, who can handle the pressure that Florida could not, can be seen on CBS this Saturday at 2:30 cst.

The ONLY bright spot for the Gator squad… An extra week to recover/flush the weed out of the system before the pre-bowl piss test.

 

GFY.

 

Signed, SEC East Champions

49 responses to “Dear Florida”

  1. lawvol Avatar
    lawvol

    Brought a tear to my eye…
    – lawvol: http://Gate21.net – Life, the Universe, & College Football

  2. DowntownDawg Avatar
    DowntownDawg

    I think we all should take a moment and realize where Tebow gets his power from..

    It’s the mandals… and maybe the jorts.. But my brother wears jorts and lives in Hog-town, and he certainly doesn’t any power to do much.

  3. UT Hater. Avatar
    UT Hater.

    “SEC East Champs” – Awesome. Awesome because that is where this season ends for UT. You tried to give it away for the better part of 2 games and 4 OTs. Yet there were no takers.

    After how strong you ended the season the rest of the SEC is thrilled that Phil will be there next year. Congratulations on getting waxed in December.

  4. Erik Ainge Avatar
    Erik Ainge

    Too bad Florida couldn’t take it.

    Have fun against the Gaytors Light in the Outback Bowl. I will be playing for a trip to the Sugar Bowl.

  5. Taurean "Killer" Green "Buds" Avatar
    Taurean “Killer” Green “Buds”

    Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice job — glad Fatass is coming back next year and congrats on the victory – blah, blah, blah. You guys won it, and ……….. deser .. nah, fuck that. Nice job staying alive. Now, fuck off and die. However, despite how much I’m torn up by you guys winning the East – I’m still surprisingly devoid of hatred for the Vols, and I’m perplexed by it. Maybe its Jai’s often irreverent yet strikingly funny sense of humor. Maybe it’s the fact he’s left us Gates alone the past two months to focus his energy on the Bameroids. Or, maybe, just maybe, its because — as funny as it seems that the Vols made it to Atlanta — it only seems right they did given the fact that UGA is #4 in the BCS and WVU is knocking on the top spot. I’m blinded by unadulterated hate when I look upon the new BCS Top 5 because – when I looked at it this morning — the first thought that came to my mind was: “I haven’t seen this many pussies tucked into a top 5 ranking since last year’s Hawaiian Tropic contest.” From top to bottom, this is one of the weakest Top 5s in recent memory – maybe ever. Actually, I’d bet a vital organ that if numbers 10, 9 and 8 played 1, 2 and 3 – they would stomp a new chocolate grommet into the “top three” with out even getting shit on their cleats. How sad our great game of college football has become. Call me old fashioned, but I still remember the days when the pussy was normally found in the stands – and not on the field. Not this year — look no further than the Top 5 BCS. Chalk full of pussy goodness.

  6. LL Avatar
    LL

    Erik Ainge: 1-3 versus Florida.

  7. DowntownDawg Avatar
    DowntownDawg

    Yeah well, I’ll agree, some teams got a easy fuckin’ ride to the top(ahem, WVU, et al).. However, I like how you omitted the #4 Dawgs.. Because they deserve to be up there, and they didn’t play a cake schedule like many above them. They are hot, and the pan will not warp.. Suck on that.

    Florida doesn’t need to be mad though. You only made it this far riding, your only lone cowboy… Tebow is the glue for the wreck that was florida this year, I’ve enjoyed the silence..

    Jai left UF alone because it’s not right to pick on the retards and little kids. He’s just a gentleman. Be gracious.

  8. DowntownDawg Avatar
    DowntownDawg

    Oh, and Ainge sucks balls. I’m glad he’s leaving and fulmer staying.. it’s a promised crash and fireball for next season.. yay.

  9. Taurean "Killer" Green "Buds" Avatar
    Taurean “Killer” Green “Buds”

    Wow. You boys in Athens sure are cocky. Remember, winning is a mindset, not an occurrence. Don’t think cause you stuck your dick in one hottie you all of a sudden have game. Bust a couple open, then come back and talk. As of now, you little guys up there just lost your virginity and now you’re talking about SuperManning a Ho. Easy tharr. Win something — anything — first, then talk shit. ‘Til then, shut the fuck up — cause outside Athens, not a lot of people believe in the Dawgs. You better be as good as you say and represent — ’cause if you make it to a BCS bowl and get blown out, like all of us think you will, you guys can’t ever come back here.

  10. UT Hater. Avatar
    UT Hater.

    “cause outside Athens, not a lot of people believe in the Dawgs.”

    You’re right. All of the voters and computers are located in Athens.

  11. DowntownDawg Avatar
    DowntownDawg

    Please….And where will you be? Oh.. handling plenty of meat in the Outback bowl..

    Don’t worry it’s a rebuilding year right?? Or was this just the year to pad Tebow to win the Heisman?

    Whichever it was, good luck.

    And don’t worry about us in a BCS, we’ll do more than just survive.

  12. Jokers Wild Avatar
    Jokers Wild

    @ Taurean “Killer” Green “Buds”

    You are right. The flea infested fuckers in Athens have really been talking A LOT OF SHIT lately. It is funny how quickly they forgot about being humiliated by UT and embarrased by the ole ball sack.

    What will be their next gimmick to fire themselves up for the bowl game. Assless pants, tube top jerseys, showers?

  13. gatorhippy Avatar
    gatorhippy

    “And don’t worry about us in a BCS, we’ll do more than just survive”…

    Isn’t that the same shit we heard the last time the Leghumpers went to a BCS bowl?

    I’m sure Angry Eer can remind you how that went…

  14. DowntownDawg Avatar
    DowntownDawg

    I think our next gimmick might be sending “Wish you were Here!!” cards to every one on the UF, AU, and UT teams.. Hell, even the ol’ ball sack might get one, personally from Walker..

    Oh, and give Tebow my best, I hope he didn’t break his jerkin’ hand.. I’m sure he’s not concerned about it, he has all of you guys to do it for him.

  15. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    @14 Gold, Pan Am Games Gold. Is Moreno from El Sal?

  16. DowntownDawg Avatar
    DowntownDawg

    No.. just as bad.. Jersey.

  17. bigdwalls Avatar
    bigdwalls

    Rowdy Roddy Piper. Props for remembering the greatest.

  18. Taurean "Killer" Green "Buds" Avatar
    Taurean “Killer” Green “Buds”

    You Dawgs are suffering for a bad case of swinging dick jealousy. Have I said in any comments that the Gates were better than the Dawgs? You guys beat us. Over. I think if we played right now, it would be a totally different game and we’d beat you. But, that’s hypothetical bullshit and means nothing. All logical Gator fans knew this year was going to be tough – if you check back, most of us here said if we made it to ATL we’d be stoked. We didn’t, you did. That’s that. But, I love how you fucking dickbags always come back to: “So, what are you Gators going to be doing for a bowl game?” Do you think most of us care? For me, I say let Cam get most of the snaps down in Tampa. The Hiesman Trophy is about as useful to us as a bathroom scale is to Stafford. And, I also love how you try to validate your arguments by saying because you’re ranked in the Top 5 its all good and shows people believe in the Dawgs. Is this not the same system that knowledgeable fans have been trashing for the past five years? Even last year, when we got a shot – we trashed it. But now that the Dawgs are in there, it works, right? Well, look at this season like a drunk hottie sprawled out on your little car bed. You better get it while you can ‘cause you’re not getting another shot like this for a long time – maybe ever. Us Gates will eat crow this year – but at least we have two Trophies in the last decade to help wash it down. You beat us – now move on, win something and shut your toothless soup coolers. God, kids these days.

  19. DowntownDawg Avatar
    DowntownDawg

    The only thing I heard from Gators this year was muffled by the sound of Tebow inside their mouths..

    But do us a favor and don’t repeat it, because I was sure it wasn’t worth hearing the first time.

  20. Taurean "Killer" Green "Buds" Avatar
    Taurean “Killer” Green “Buds”

    DownTown — your face is stupid.

  21. Ears Whitworth Avatar
    Ears Whitworth

    Wow

  22. Ears Whitworth Avatar
    Ears Whitworth

    @12 Richt could use popped collars, tube socks, and gold chains

  23. DowntownDawg Avatar
    DowntownDawg

    God, I’m hurt..

    go smoke a joint, loser.

  24. jonkoncak Avatar
    jonkoncak

    Comments are good on this one. Nice work today.
    1- I hate the BCS and polls. Give me an SEC title first and then the MNC. I’m UGA fo’ life, but I’m not chest beating a possible #3 finish in the final BCS without and SEC title. I will be glad for the exposure and all the buzz that goes with it and all of the ladies I’ll be able to get by saying, “Hey, baby, I’m a UGA fan. You know #3 in the BCS this year.”

    But folks are crazy, like, Sean Taylor not having a security system crazy, if they think we should not support or not be somewhat pleased with a possible Rose Bowl or Orange Bowl appearance in a rebuilding season that started off poorly.

    Yeah, I’m hoping UGA goes to the Peach Bowl this year or the Music City Bowl. Dumb. Even with all of the at-large talk going on, I’m still envious of UT that they get a shot at the SEC title. That’s what we all want.

    You know what would really feel dirty is if WVU, Mizzo, and LSU all lose, then UGA plays OSU in the BCS title game. It seems that each season further illustrates the need for a playoff. And not a “plus 1” or a weak ass 4-team playoff, but a legit 16-team playoff.

    How badass would an all-SEC BCS title game be? How many of those would it take for them to dump the playoff?

  25. artiger Avatar
    artiger

    “How badass would an all-SEC BCS title game be? How many of those would it take for them to dump the playoff?”

    One

  26. DowntownDawg Avatar
    DowntownDawg

    I like how TKGB called me a “kid”.. And if he’s even really the TG that played @ Florida.. In that case, I don’t believe that fucks old enough to even buy a legal drink..

    Go drink some more Kool-Aid, kid.

  27. RyOsbornUgaLover Avatar
    RyOsbornUgaLover

    First off for all of you Tennessee fans saying shit about Georgia.Just some updated facts ..The last time you guys made it to a BCS game was in 99 hard to belive huh?But yea maybe you guys should fire yalls fat ass coach Phillip Fulmer .Ya ya you guys beat us but we didnt even compete and I gurantuee the near future for you guys will be trouble because all Mark Richt is gonna do is focus on that game and he will get it next year.Moreno is gonna run all over that Tennessee ”D”.Downtown knows it and by the way im a Georgia fan for life and i live outside of athens.But you guys said outside of athens noone belives in uga and hows is that when Mark Richts record in 7 years at Uga is 69-19?And the last time we won the sec and made it to a bcs game 2005.
    wow wanna hear some comments on this one.

  28. RyOsbornUgaLover Avatar
    RyOsbornUgaLover

    And for the florida fans..How in the hell could we be a virgin that just got layed ?And how are we gonna get dominated by them damn gators in the future .
    When we have heisman type running back named Knowshon Moreno and Caleb King behind him and when there running all over you guys and Stafford playaction fakes it and throws it to the #2 wide reciver coming out of high school A.j Green for a td!
    You guys want know what hit ya.Ya im being cocky but your doing the same damn thing Taurean killer.But see how could we be a virgin that just got layed when in playing you guys 85 games and beating yall 46 times and you guys have only won 37 yea we dominated you guys in the past .I wil give it to ya though recent history the gators have us there.
    But in the future its gonna start all over again.More than likely anyways .And oh ya we are virgins but yet we have more sec championships than yall do.
    Haha now thats pretty funny..Run your mouth some more…

  29. Taco Bell Soft Tacos Avatar
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos

    What happened in 2005? Your failure as the representative of the nation’s superior conference led to the rise of ESPN’s fellating of the Big East and WVU. Your failure to beat down an ACC reject in your own backyard was a black eye on the entire SEC. Thanks for reminding me of that piss poor performance in UGA’s last visit to a BCS game.

    With that being said, good luck against who ever UGA plays in what ever BCS game in January.

  30. RyOsbornUgaLover Avatar
    RyOsbornUgaLover

    wvu was no fluke my friend .
    Pat White,Steve Slayton come to your mind?
    An sec gets beat like that in a bcs game everybody is gonna talk about it and say the sec is not the strongest conference but yet everyone knows it is.
    But still your 2005 sec champions were the Georgia Bulldogs by beating the shit out of #3 L.S.U but ya noone remembers that beating do they because everybody is critics to uga.And i love it!

  31. Taco Bell Soft Tacos Avatar
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos

    If you have bought into the WVU/Big East bullshit you are more of a failure than I thought you were.

    You failed the SEC in 2005. Don’t buy into ESPN’s hype.

  32. RyOsbornUgaLover Avatar
    RyOsbornUgaLover

    The Big East is bullshit look who they play I mean the only teams that competed this year in that was WV and South Florida for a little bit.Hell Pitt beat Cincy and e/b thought cincy was awesome so ya.
    But ya we did fail in 2005 but noy my much 3 points.But a lost is a lost and who is your team by the way

  33. AngryEer Avatar
    AngryEer

    First of all, we are real. Better learn the lyrics to Country Roads.

    We whipped UGA’s ass, painted their back porch red.

    I have read on this site that Erik Ainge owns Mark Richt

  34. RyOsbornUgaLover Avatar
    RyOsbornUgaLover

    For the Florida and Tennessee fans please read above.
    thank you.

  35. Taco Bell Soft Tacos Avatar
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos

    RyOsborn back-pedaled quicker than Jonathan Wilhite on that.

  36. RyOsbornUgaLover Avatar
    RyOsbornUgaLover

    what are u talking about lol.
    And whos your favorite team? taco bell?

  37. Taco Bell Soft Tacos Avatar
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos

    only faggots use LOL.

    UGA better beat down whoever they play in the bowl, especially if its another Big Least school or the Big 10 failboats.

  38. RyOsbornUgaLover Avatar
    RyOsbornUgaLover

    well sorry for using lol.damn..
    so you will be cheering uga on in that bcs game?
    and whos your favorite team damnit?

  39. Taco Bell Soft Tacos Avatar
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos

    Ole Miss grad. Lifelong Auburn fan. Don’t ask me how that happened.

    I pull for every SEC team in bowl season, with the exception of Bammer a few times.

  40. RyOsbornUgaLover Avatar
    RyOsbornUgaLover

    Sweet .And same here i pull for every sec team when it comes bowl season.What bowl is them Tigers of Auburn gonna be in do you know yet?

  41. Taco Bell Soft Tacos Avatar
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos

    Probably Cap One, Outback, or Peach (I refuse to call it by its sponsor’s name, even though I love their chicken sandwiches).

    Cap One would be the best (highest payout of any non-BCS bowl), but Peach would be easiest for me to travel to.

    What BCS game you want UGA to go to?

  42. RyOsbornUgaLover Avatar
    RyOsbornUgaLover

    Well hell you know i’d like to see em in the Sugar Bowl /National Championship.But i dont think thats gonna happen.But rather than that I would like for us to play Ohio St. in the Rose Bowl just because it would be different playing them and in that bowl.And do u live close to Atl or something!?

  43. RyOsbornUgaLover Avatar
    RyOsbornUgaLover

    not sugar bowl /national championship my bad.
    The all state national championship there we go.

  44. Taco Bell Soft Tacos Avatar
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos

    NC isn’t going to happen, and the Rose would will be taking the PAC-10 champ. If UGA plays in the Rose Bowl it won’t be against the failboats.

    Live in the southwest, just ATL would be easier for me to get to.

  45. RyOsbornUgaLover Avatar
    RyOsbornUgaLover

    Well we prolly what even be in the rose cause it will prolly be usc and the failboats in that .
    but im gonna predict that we will be in the orange bowl.Anyways i gotta get some sleep ttyl.
    And i wanna make it a point for all the FLORIDA fans and TENNESSEE to read what I posted up there.
    Thank you.

  46. jonkoncak Avatar
    jonkoncak

    Good god. Comments 27-45. Why don’t you two exchange phone numbers and carry on the idle chit chat and save some bandwidth?

    How in the world does any barn fan say earn the right to say that UGA disgraced the SEC? UGA lost by 3. Where the hell were yall in the Sugar Bowl? Oh yeah, now I remember, yall were talking about how great Brandon Cox would be as a senior. Wasn’t it Auburn that lost 2 in a row to sorry ass GT? Talk about making the SEC look bad.

    Look, I accept that UGA is partially to blame for the constant fluff job the Big East got last year and this past pre-season, but that conference imploded this year and everyone knows it. It’s back to reality again and the country learned its lesson. The Big East sucks and WVU has a good offense when Pat White plays.

    I hope LSU, WVU, and Mizzu all lose this weekend and UGA plays OhSU for the BCS title and wins the thing with 2 losses. Then everyone will bitch about a 2-loss, non-conference champion being the national champion (which I understand and agree with). Maybe the bitching will be so loud that a 16-team playoff is implemented completely eliminating any chance a non-BCS or Big East team could ever win a national title.

    omg.lol.stfu.asap.gayshorthandtyping.

  47. Taco Bell Soft Tacos Avatar
    Taco Bell Soft Tacos

    UGA Fans, please see every Sugar Bowl since 2001 (with the exception of your failure in 2005) to see how an SEC school is supposed to represent the SEC. That includes The Barn’s 2004 performance.

    The Cox era is almost over on the Plains, and I never bought into the Cox hype. He sacrificed a lot for that team but his play was sub-par for a Senior with 3 years starting under his belt. Kodi Burns is going to rock the party that rocks the piñata. And the losses to GA Tech were unacceptable. 2003’s especially. Unacceptable in the same way UGA’s 2005 Sugar Bowl loss was unrepresentative of the nation’s superior conference.

    And before you bring it up, yes, the Dawgs beat Auburn’s ass this year and last year. Now try doing the same to a non-SEC school in a bowl game.

  48. jonkoncak Avatar
    jonkoncak

    I’ll include UGA’s 2002 Sugar Bowl win against FSU as well. And there is no need to bring up UGA vs. Auburn anymore. Did it suck to see UGA lose to WVU? Yep and UGA outperformed every other SEC team that season to earn their SEC crown, so those that were at home just sound like babies.

    Holy Jesus, I forgot about Auburn losing at home to the god-awful fluke that is South Florida! Way to represent ass clown. South Florida is not good. And another nice job Auburn did against fat and slow Wisconsin in the Cap 1 bowl on Jan 1, 2006. Way to “represent”.

    Represent.

    How dumb is that? “You better represent.” What is this? A hippity hop dance party? I don’t give a mushy spit cup what any other SEC team does in their non-title or title bowl. That crap is for message board dumb asses to talk about which conference is “stronger” or “better” or fodder for “blah blah” on ESPN.

    I hope that all of you have sons! Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons, who are talented, and star athletes, and they lose their bowl game! I mean, I pray you know that pain and that hurt!

  49. RyOsbornUgaLover Avatar
    RyOsbornUgaLover

    That is true South Florida did beat them Tigers on there own turf.Atleast my dawgs didnt lose to WVU on there own turf .And we only lost by 3 points but a lose is a lose but who knows what would happened if WVU wouldnt of been pussys about it and faked that damn punt for a first down to seal the deal.But its all over now ,what happens now is what matters and the future.So I hope all 10 sec schools when every single damn bowl game to show that the sec is no fluke this year and is the real deal.

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