For the previous two years, I have blogged the Michigan-Notre Dame matchup. As usual you can almost sense the homoerotic, earthy and sensual excitement creeping into both ESPN and Beano Cook’s loins. Games like Notre Dame vs Michigan require extra special preparation. This game will be extra-extra special because Jimmy Clausen is starting for the Domers. How does Beano prepare for a game of this magnitude?  This game between these steaming piles of fail will generate as much excitementthe Plessie vs Ferguson Supreme Court Ruling.

The Beano Cook “Perfect Storm” Tailgate is comprised of the following items:

• Black Socks
• Quality mescaline
• Wife Beater Tee Shirt
• A JoePa Toll Booth Operator Windbreaker Jacket
• A set of JoePa tinted specs from the set of Donnie Brasco (ht CFtips)
• Depending on who is on offense, either an Irish or an Notre Dame Adams helmet with an Oakley sun visor (Can’t …see..his…eyes)
• A pair of Jimmy Clausen Speedos (unlaundered and ‘soiled’)
• A YouTube of Appy State’s block of Michigan’s FG (Stuck on endless repeat for heightened stimulation)
• A Notre Dame/Notre Dame House Divided Flag
• An 8X10 Mens Health Mag with Courageous Brady Quinn on the cover
• GoJo hand moisturizer with Pumice
• A Bunk Sock (Link)
• Penis Floss
• A quiet semi-dark room to “watch”
• A discarded tube of Jimmy Clausen’s Rogaine

Picture Beano sitting in a semi-dark quiet room clad only in the “uniform” outlined above. If Beano is feeling “right”, he imagines going old school greco-roman grappling with Lou Holtz.