The Decision
At 9:17 Monday morning, Coach Heupel and Tennessee football finally did the merciful thing.
It picked a starting quarterback.
Faizon Brandon won the job.
And somewhere across East Tennessee, hundreds of grown men simultaneously experienced either the sweetest release of their adult lives or the realization that they had spent eight months emotionally investing in the wrong teenager.
There was no middle ground.
The story dropped on REDACTED.
Within six minutes:
ChosenOneVol: “He is him. The chosen one.”
Accompanied, naturally, by Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Because Tennessee had not merely selected a freshman quarterback.
The Vols had apparently discovered the last surviving Jedi.
Minutes later another poster supplied a gif of what appeared to be a nuclear detonation.
No words necessary.
The message board had achieved climax.
After an offseason of practice whispers, “body language,” anonymous texts, arm-angle analysis, cropped video and men claiming to know somebody whose cousin parks near the Anderson Training Center, Tennessee finally had an answer.
Faizon Brandon.
The pressure valve blew clean off the boiler.
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