Texas is No. 1 in the country. Matt4RockyTop needed about three minutes to decide that was horseshit.
Matt4RockyTop rolled into Texas week at 12:26 Monday afternoon like a man who’d opened Pornhub on the Church of God’s projector and wanted the congregation’s thoughts.
“Easily the most over rated team I’ve seen in Austin in 20+ years. Not saying we beat them, just saying I’ve seen a few teams more deserving.
Ohio St would boat race them tomorrow…..”
With POTUS apparently headed to the game, Texas week kept rolling.
The other UT—the second one in Texas—is No. 1, Arch Manning is coming to Neyland, College GameDay is setting up shop, Trump is gameday picker (maybe) and Matt has reviewed two decades of football tape in Austin and determined this particular Texas team is a paper tiger.
OakVol needed to add one sentence:
“The worst number 1 I remember”
This Texas thread wasn’t even three minutes old.
The rest of the board brought lye and shovels. One poster noted Texas hasn’t been particularly efficient offensively, brought up the noon kickoff and 11 a.m. circadian misalignment, questioned Arch performance on the road and finished by hoping Tennessee might be up 24–7 at halftime. In the space of a few replies, “overrated” became “have the backups ready after halftime.”
There was, briefly, an attempt at restraint.
Utjay2, a concrete contractor from Cornersville, looked at the line of scrimmage:
“I think our skill guys on both sides match up well but the LOS……we’re just outmanned…..gonna take a big effort from the OL and DTs to make it happen”
Matt was not having any of that “bullcrap”.
“So, UTSA has an elite front 7?”
This is Matt4RockyTop in his natural environment. Somebody installs a guardrail and Matt immediately begins looking for a section without one.
When another poster suggested the heat might have affected Ohio State against Texas, Matt returned:
“I think Day popped himself, went into a shell and the kicker missed the game winner.”
Later, VirginiaBeachVol tried to split the difference, arguing Texas deserves its ranking but has really played only one exceptional quarter and one very good defensive quarter.
Matt again:
“I would go as far to say that was more about the buckeyes popping themselves vs great play by the horns.”
Every Texas accomplishment now came with a return label addressed to Ohio State.
That opened the Arch Manning portion of the hearing.
bhvol, who says he was at the Texas-OSU game, reported:
“arch was awful. Anytime a hint of pressure showed up his eyes dropped and he couldn’t see the field.”
He later concluded:
“Keep arch’s legs under control and we can clamp them.”
Meanwhile Volfrombama offered a somewhat more traditional plan: run the football, get after Manning early and let Neyland do the rest.
“Rattle him and the entire O will go sit down with him.”
An ambitious game plan: make the entire Texas offense take a seat.
Then Otis111, a livestock auctioneer from Crossville, arrived from the other direction entirely:
“Neyland will be cleared out 4th qter”
bhvol immediately asked to see the betting slip.
Otis, who hardly ever bets, responded by asking bhvol for his preseason record prediction.
Perfect. Effing. Response.
The man predicted an early evacuation of Neyland Stadium and, when asked to put five dollars behind it, requested a review of preseason paperwork.
By 1:40, Texas had been declared the worst No. 1 team in memory, Ohio State’s loss had been blamed largely on Ohio State, Tennessee was both outmanned up front and possibly better up front, Arch Manning was dangerous, awful and clampable, and one poster had already emptied Neyland Stadium.
Matt4RockyTop started the thread 74 minutes earlier.
Texas week is going beautifully.
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