Texas comes to Neyland September 26 at noon ET — the old Jefferson Pilot breakfast slot, except now the production truck has better cameras and nobody is selling used Pontiacs during the third quarter. ESPN still lists it as ABC or ESPN. No crew yet.

Which leaves us free to contemplate the possibilities. Fowler-Herbstreit-Holly Rowe is the top crew and probably has something shinier to do at night. That leaves Sean McDonough-Greg McElroy-Katie George or Joe Tessitore-Jesse Palmer-Kris Budden as the more realistic noon possibilities.

So there is a decent chance Tennessee gets three hours of Greg McElroy explaining Alabama RTR before most of Knoxville has finished its second Tennessee Shine. The other option is Gator Jesse talking about that Texas girth and length.

Pick your poison.

The Longhorns are No. 1 because they just came back from 23-3 down against No. 1 Ohio State and won 24-23. They scored 21 points in the fourth quarter, went 9-for-16 on third down, ran for 141 yards and held Ohio State to 94 rushing.

Arch Manning was 23-of-37 for 195 yards with a touchdown and a pick. For three quarters he looked like a talented quarterback with a famous last name. In the fourth, unfortunately, he remembered the last name.

The message board has naturally concluded that Tennessee will either lose by three touchdowns or win by a million.

User DrewBoone is in the second camp.

“I’ve never seen anything from Manning that screams scary. VOLS by a million.”

There it is. Scouting report complete. No need for All-22.

Elsewhere, Tennessee is losing by 14. Or 20-plus. One guy said 20-plus and then clarified that he was “trying to be nice,” which is message-board hospitality at its finest.

The actual football problem is Texas’ front. It is fast, deep and exactly the kind of defensive line that could turn the Tennessee offensive-line thread into a hostage negotiation by 12:17.

The board knows that too. Texas will load the box. Tennessee will have to throw. Faizon Brandon will have to prove he can beat it. And he’ll be doing it without starting tight end Ethan Davis, who is out for the season with an ACL injury suffered against Georgia Tech. Reasonable stuff.

Then user Odiodin arrived with his own model.

Not a model from ESPN. Not SP+. Not somebody else’s spreadsheet.

His.

His model had Tennessee as a 2.1-point favorite while Vegas was giving Texas 6.5.

Another poster immediately asked the correct question: “Curious how does one have ‘their own model?’”

That is why I still read this board.

Somewhere in East Tennessee there is apparently a privately funded analytics department operating between a garage freezer and a riding mower.

The beautiful part is that all of this is happening before Tennessee plays Kennesaw State.

ut87 attempted to restore order: “Kennesaw State is no slouch and we have things to work on before then.”

Kennesaw State just lost 31-17 to Georgia State.

That does not mean Tennessee gets to sleepwalk through Saturday. College football was specifically invented to embarrass people who say things like “we can look ahead.”

But come on.

Texas is No. 1. Arch Manning is coming to Neyland. It is Checker Neyland. Noon kick. Freshman quarterback. The offensive line is already on trial for crimes against the fan base. ESPN may hand a microphone to Greg McElroy or Jesse Palmer.

Of course the board has moved on.

Kennesaw State is standing in the doorway holding a schedule while everybody looks over its shoulder at Texas.

Beat Kennesaw.

Then the amateur scouts, private-model owners and offensive-line prosecutors can get back to work.