This is the Alabama Anthem gon throw ya’ hands up, put up ya A’….
and I ain’t talkin bout Atlanta, I’m talkin bout the Ville I’m talkin bout
the gump I’m talkin bout tha ham where them boyz pop tha trunk! [Alabama Anthem by the Gator Boys]
(A collective effort by Lloyd Braun, Grill Viper and Jai Eugene)
One of the hottest rumors on the Rivals Message Boards is that the University of the Alabama is going to get a real elephant for their football games, both home and away. Keep in mind that there is not shred of internet evidence to support this…yet. But who really knows what goes on inside Mal Moore’s brain? This whole project is entirely plausible, especially after watching the build a bear coaching search. The scenarios involving this beast are mind-boggling fun.
(Above, anyone can see the challenges of having a live elephant as a mascot)
Can you not just see that thing if it ever gets freaked out? What if Bama plays at LSU? Are they bringing that behemoth on the road? Will he have to walk by Mike the Tiger? What will happen if Les Miles drops some more F-Bombs to incite the tiger to attack the elephant? [Miles drops some F Bombs on Bama]
Has Mal Moore and Nick Saban thought about the enormous poop pellets that this beast is going to push out? Who really knows how bad the smell of the poo would be in a stadium, like the Georgia Dome? Will the elephant’s poop pellets be considered Crimson Tide Memorabilia? And will loyal Bama fans pay to have one of the elephant poop pellets in their dens and living rooms? We think that they will pay for poop.
We cannot believe this is true. I mean the Boomer Schooner, Bevo and the Colorado Buffalo are bad enough, but when you bring an elephant into the picture, the destro-o-meter is off the charts. Besides, the Bama fans will never support an African Elephant.
The spectacle would be incredible but if that thing ever freaked, the rampage would be insane. I can see the Alabama State Troopers pumping bullets into that thing as it runs into the stands. That is a disaster waiting to happen if true. How many rednecks have to be trampled before they shoot the elephant? You never mix guns and alcohol so why would you mix red necks with an African Elephant?
If you have been to Bryant-Denny, you know it is a great stadium and a great atmosphere ….. one of the worst things about it (other than the typical Bammers) is the elephant noise they pipe in. First time I heard it I thought Godzilla was coming over the top of the stadium ….. sounds like a crazed dinosaur to me.
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