Loser with Socks

Mountain Damn Values from New Mexico

Review of “Bama Profiles in Courage: Laykin”: (Capers) Barr flexes through an emotional range that most writers would never dare attempt … Humor and Bama sorrow are fused together like twined tree trunks that keep each other standing…..It’s part satire, part character study, with a wry lens on fame, fandom, and the modern South. Well done, Capers, well done.”– Ian Allen, The Times Literary Supplement.

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Like a Cold Sore that Won’t go away, WVU is Athlon’s #5 Team

(Shop 401 at West Virginia, thanks for fucking up the Liberty Bell outside the mall in Morgantown) Under Rich Rodriguez, West Virginia is sustaining success like never before. The Mountaineers have now won 38 games over the last four years, the most in any four-year period in school history. A Big East championship and pieces…

Capers Barr
2–3 minutes

(Shop 401 at West Virginia, thanks for fucking up the Liberty Bell outside the mall in Morgantown)

Under Rich Rodriguez, West Virginia is sustaining success like never before. The Mountaineers have now won 38 games over the last four years, the most in any four-year period in school history. A Big East championship and pieces of two others have also come in that time, and it’s not about to stop. Whatteam could not win 38 games in four years with a candy schedule like the Eers play? Geez, gimme a fucking break, ESPN’s hype machine has started early this year [Athlon]. I can’t wait to hear Mark May and Lou Holtz drool (literally) over the Big East.

(Can’t they find some tourists to cheer for WVU? The only good looking women in West Virginia are tourists)

Why Dear Lord do we have to put up with this shit again? It is Thursday night football coming at us with all of the fury of a Valtrex pill. I can’t say enough bad things about Big East Football, I really can’t. Georgia? Georgia’s name is on the blame line for empowering the mid majors [Louisville]. Fuck, I am embarrassed for the Dawgs. Listen to these Colin Cowherd podcasts as he completely ass-rape West Virginia.

Change that, it is more embarrassing to be a West Virginia fan. Shit that was awful. I guess the truth hurts Big Easters..Hope you make it to a real BCS Bowl against a Big Boy school. [Rutgers]

(West Virginia rations electricity)
That’s right, you know that you people are backwardsass country fucks when an SEC blog makes fun of your country ass. WVU? Suck it. Slow down country ass, breathe deep and repeat after me, The SEC is Clearly Superior

VERSE 1:
There’s no place that I’d rather be than right here
With my red necks, white socks and blue ribbon beer
The bar-maid is mad ’cause some guy made a pass
The juke box is playin’ there stands the glass
And the cig-a-rette smoke kind-a hangs in the air
Red-necks, white socks and blue rib-bon beer

VERSE 2:
A cow-boy is cus-sin’ the pin-ball ma-chine
A drunk at the bar is get-tin’ nois-y and mean
And, some guy on the phone says i’ll be home soon dear
Red-necks white socks and blue rib-bon beer

CHORUS:
No we don’t fit in with that white col-lar crowd
We’re a lit-tle too row-dy and a little too loud
There’s no place that I’d rath-er be than right here
With my red-necks white socks and blue rib-bon beer

VERSE 3:
The sem-is are pass-ing on the high-way out-side
The four thir-ty crowd is a-bout to ar-rive
The sun’s go-in’ down and we’ll all soon be here
Red-necks, white socks and blue rib-bon beer

REPEAT CHORUS:

TAG:
There’s no place that I’d rather be than right here
With my red-necks, white socks and blue rib-bon beer

17 responses to “Like a Cold Sore that Won’t go away, WVU is Athlon’s #5 Team”

  1. Bill Avatar
    Bill

    I guess your into ass-rape and Cowterd. Get out from under cowterds desk and wipe the jizz off your chin

  2. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Thanks Bill. We support Cowherd when he is correct. And he is 100% correct on WVU…

  3. Jon Koncak Avatar
    Jon Koncak

    Oh, sweet Jesus. I’ve been waiting on this one. As a UGA representative, I must apologize for the 2006 Sugar Bowl debacle. It was an accident. Sometimes even Christian Okoye gets tackled in Super Tecmo Bowl and a sometimes a decent SEC team loses to a Big East team. Ok, well, rarely does a decent SEC team lose to any Big East team. I completely agree that it’s UGA’s fault for allowing this faux Big East insurgence and that there’s any validity to the “spread attack”. I thought Meyer making changes to the “spread” for 2006 would sqwash that talk, but it’s back now that Tim “Christ” Tebow will be behind center at UF.

    WVU #5? We’ve seen this before haven’t we? No worries. They’ll fall by the way side before it’s all said and done. WVU is a good team in a sorry, retarded, deaf, and blind conference. None of the red words in the Bible say anything about the spread offense. I’ve looked for it over and over again (Tebow is mentioned 2,000 times. what? you didn’t see it? then you must not be a believer!!!). Offensive lineman are supposed to be fat and strong, not built like tight ends and this will be their demise. That and their defense had several weeks to prepare and still let GT and Reggie stickin’ Ball put 35 points on the score board.

    I have little doubt that WVU will cruise through their schedule, espically their conference slate. The only mild challenges will be the trip to Rutgers and the following week when Louisville travels to Morgantown. WVU fans must pray that Louisville and Rutgers are good this season. If they’re not and WVU goes undefeated, they will not be playing for a BCS national title.

    Now that would be something I’d like to see. They burn couches for inspiration, so just think of what they’ll do if they get “Auburned”. Holy cow they probably burn down all of Morgantown and maybe all of West Virginia. Man, they may cause, like, $200 dollars worth of damage.

  4. Mack Daddy Smack Avatar
    Mack Daddy Smack

    All of you WVU & BE haters can kiss my butt. How do you explain going 5 and 0 in the most recent bowl season? Hate all you want, we had a better record verses other BCS conferences as compared to all but one BCS conference, won all bowl games, had the 2nd best winning pct. of all the BCS conferences. So continue to cry over the over-hyped SEC. Without UF last year, that conference is a joke

  5. JP Avatar
    JP

    The Big East calling the SEC a joke? Now I’ve seen everything.

  6. Jon Koncak Avatar
    Jon Koncak

    And without a football, football is a joke. “Haters”, “hatin’”, “oh no you didn’t!?!”… Are we on the set of Maury Povich? It that all you’ve got Mack Daddy Smack? Tortise and the hare: why did the tortise win? Because the badass hare took a dadgum knap!! The best 2 of Big East is the tortise and the best 6 of the SEC is the hare.

    Note- For all of you that use terms like “haters” a tortise is a turtle and a hare is a rabbit. I just figured in the event that you are able to read from a book that you may not have ever read or heard of that fable.

  7. Bill Avatar
    Bill

    Oh sweet Jesus, its been over a year since WVU ran all over that pathetic jawja defense, you must still be waking up at night in a cold sweat to have that defeat still bother you Koncak. In fact Greg Blue is still trying to catch Slaton. Shouldn’t you be more concerned with beating Kentucky and Vandy this year?

    Jai, you missed some jizz on your chin

  8. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Bill, 2 things:

    The UGA fiasco was a fluke and both of us know it. Second, leave the oral sex stuff off the comments. Or you will join many others in timeout.

    Let me know which way you want to go with that…

  9. Jon Koncak Avatar
    Jon Koncak

    Nah, Bill, it’s all good. I haven’t thought about Slaton and WVU since they proved their irrelevance last season when they couldn’t win their weak azz conference title.

    Nope, losing to Vandy and UK is actually much more tolerable than losing to WVU. Why? Because the Vandy and UK fans aren’t delusional jackasses and they know their wins, although deserved and honorable, were to be enjoyed, but not boasted upon. You WVU fans celebrate and continue to boast that UGA victory. It’s like you won the mega millions jackpot that each of yall spend your entire $200 paycheck on every week. I’m curious to know how many WVU “women” got some type of tattoo referring to the 2006 Sugar Bowl on their lower back or mid-thigh.

    I can’t remember the last time I mentioned UGA pimp slappin’ Boise State or the 2003 destruction of the Vols in Neyland, or the 2005 SEC title. You know why, Bill? It’s because those are notches on the bed post of tradition. Before the 2006 Sugar Bowl matchup was announced, I kinda liked WVU. Coach Rod has done well recognizing that he must recruit the south east to do well. Amos Zereoue and Avon Cobourne are 2 of my favorite running backs I’ve seen play. But then, these mouth breathers start polluting internet message boards with their Mountaineer and Big East jive.

    All WVU talk should’ve ceased as soon as South freakin’ Florida beat the cat trappers in Morgantown, but they seem to have forgotten about that game.

  10. Bill Avatar
    Bill

    OK Jon,
    you say in a previous post that you have been waiting on this one but in your last post you say you haven’t thought much about WVU, so which is it?

    WVU fans are a bunch of delusional jackasses just like the jawja fans were before the Sugar Bowl saying how we had no chance of winning.
    So who would you rather be, a delusional jackass that wins or a delusional jackasss that loses? I didn’t bring up the Sugar Bowl on this board you did Jon, so what does that tell you?

    You might want to check your bowl record against big east teams before you say you should never lose to a big east team because it isn’t too impressive. LOL!

    I currently live in jawja, so any stereotypes you want to spew about WV pretty much apply to jawja also.

  11. jon koncak Avatar
    jon koncak

    Thanks for the quick rebuttal, Bill. I was wondering how you responded so quickly, but once you said that you live in GA I realized that you’re not on dial-up like all of WV. Let me clarify my thoughts on WVU. I haven’t thought about the sugar bowl loss. I have been forced to think about WVU every time I cruise a message board and a blog. Do to unemployment most WVU fans have lots of time to post verbal doo doo. WVU fans don’t have to bring up the Sugar Bowl, the score is usually on the same t-shirt you wear 5 days a week or sharpied on your forearm.

    What I’ve been looking forward to from WVU fans is the jibberish that will come from yall when the preseason rankings are released. Of all the internet fans to chose from, if I had one fan base to entertain me it would be the internet WVU fans. South Carolina fans are a very, very close 2nd. Actually, if give WVU fans a low country drawl and replace every “eers” comment with “‘cocks” and yall are exactly the same. Except yall have a few more wins, but would be a South Carolina in the SEC if you played here each week.

    One of the most exaggerated and misused statistics is conference vs. conference bowl records. I hate ’em almost as much as preseason rankings. It’s one game. Anything can happen 1 game. What about a series of games? Don’t matter. Each bowl game is one game and one game only. Trust me, there’s plenty of SEC guys that beat the collective SEC chest over end-of-season bowl records. Misguided. All but 1, maybe 2, bowl games are nothing more than preseason circus games. Irrelevant and meaningless in the big picture. #1 is all that counts and if you ain’t #1 then you ain’t shit. Anyone bragging about being #2 or #3 or #whatever is bragging about losing.

    My hat’s off to the Tebow’s, er, the gators. They’re the only ones that can universally brag about what they did last season.

    Bill, you’re the 1st WVU fan I’ve actually communicated with since early last season. You seem decent, but I’ll ignore that as it will ruin the very legitmate WVU stereotype. This is a tired over stated debate. You can have the last word.

  12. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    I had to slow Bill down. His spooge discussions requires bill to be moderated.

    BTW Jon, the word document that you sent me will be posted in the morning

  13. Cry me a river Avatar
    Cry me a river

    SEC fans are delusional at is very best. You seem to think the high and almighty SEC is completely invisible against out of conference opponents and when an SEC team loses it’s chalked up to luck. I guess Slaton’s 204 yards rushing and new Sugar Bowl rushing record was pure luck. I mean that guy has hardly any talent at all. Keep on throwing out excuses if it helps you get to sleep at night. Enjoy…

  14. JP Avatar
    JP

    Yeah, the SEC is completely “invisible” to non-conference opponents: quality non-conference teams rarely see them.

  15. Bill Avatar
    Bill

    Jon,
    sure there are plenty of exaggerated and misused stats when they are not in your favor.

    You and Jai will need to clean the sand out of your manginas every year since the Big East is here to stay and either WVU or UL will be in the national picture from now on so keep on bitching like the little school girls you are.

    Go Dawgs, sickem, woof, woof, woof. LOL!

  16. Jai Eugene Avatar
    Jai Eugene

    Mark Richt is to blame for the bCS-Big East Abortion

  17. DJesse Avatar
    DJesse

    The SEC has one team that has any regularity in its winnings(UF)..a second that changes hands from year to year ( LSU or BAMA) and all the others that get crapped into the pre-season top 25 annually like a think turd hung sideways only to reveal to the world how apparent it is to anyone outside the southern states that the conference as a whole manages to keep the Floridas and Bamas winning. ….And winning due to a pugnant stench of being able to beat teams within their own conference that only they feel are worthy adversaries and that the rest of the english-speaking world sees as OVERRATED! I can say that WVU has beaten UGA like a misbehaven punk-child, MSU twice so bad it was hard to watch and managed to turn the ball over enough times (5…..freakin 5!)to allow AU to win a close one this year ( It took 5 turnovers people!) So No……pardon me if I dont feel the SEC muse!

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