My advice to Bull Gators today is as follows: If you take the game of football seriously, if you take your nervous system seriously, if you take your sense organs seriously, if you take the energy process seriously, you must turn on, tune in, and drop out. If you can’t smoke it, don’t play football on it. Reality is a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs. An excerpt from Herban Meyer’s opening speech at the 2007 Gator Fantasy Camp.
Holy hell what a week. I just got back from Gainesville and Herban Meyer’s Fantasy 
Football Camp (Double Click on the thumbnail to the left to enlarge). I am famished!!! I have never eaten so many doritos in my life. Look at the picture above!! It’s is an autographed Herban Meyer football that I received for winning a Bong Naming Contest for one of the Gator Superstars!! Here is the winning name that I submitted: Intergalactic Cosmos Time Travel Ship X Radar Beam. As you can see, the ball is made of 100% Hemp!! A bunch of the Gators kept trying to tackle me and the ball!! You know, a Strip the Ball Drill? [football courtesy of Ty Shock]
Listen to the words that I am typing, not only did I learn a lot about SEC Spread Option football but I also learned a ton of useful information about marijuana and it’s importance to Gator Football as well. Hey, did you know that Gravity Bucket Hitters will get a Gator “Baked”? I know now. In fact, I was told by a Gator “insider” that the Brandons’ [Don’t ya’all think this outlaw bit has done got out of hand?], who were arrested last week in a buy-bust, were doing gravity bong hits. It was a sad day when we learned of their arrest. Coach had the National Championship and SEC Championship Flags lowered to half-mast in honor of these fallen Gator-Warriors. A very sad day indeed. Like Coach always say “some people end up on third base without hitting a triple”. I think that Herban really enjoys butchering Barry Switzer quotes.
All of the campers did receive this entertaining but highly inaccurate video [Baby Gator Raising]. Sure it has a lot of the top 1% of the 1% ideology embedded in it. But damnit, the kid needs a gun or a bong (or both), a mullet haircut and a pair of Jorts to maintain historical accuracy. You know they always say that the movies are never as accurate as the book…
Anyway despite racking up arrests numbers 11 and 12 (during camp week) since winning the national championship, those were 3 insightful and fun days as Herban and his staff covered the following topics:
- Busted! Experiences and stories about dealing with the law & drug testing.
- Cannabis Activism What people are doing to change oppressive marijuana laws. And how we can help Herban so he can stop the meaningless suspensions of Gator players
- Marijuana Growing Newest information about marijuana growing techniques.
- Marijuana Price Watch Herban and his staff told us what’s available, where, at what price around the world! We also looked at pix of the Gators latest scores.
- “Medicinal” Marijuana The newest rage in Gainesville. Discussions of Marcus Thomas and his now famous medicinal marijuana defense. What it’s good for, how to ingest it, scientific studies and legal issues.
- Hashish Coach’s newest recruiting strategy to replace text messaging. Discussions included the wonders of hash, hash oil and other processed cannabis products.
The final day was a time to show off that pipe, bong, bubbler or whatever! We discussed with current and past Gators their preferred devices and how to care for them. An intriguing discussion bubbled up over the pros and cons of glass versus acrylic. Did you know that most of the 2007 Gators are switching to the Bushmaster Liquid Ice Water Bong [bushmaster : XG174RS]?
All in all, it was time and money well spent. I would recommend that anyone that has any interest in Florida Gator Football attend Coach Meyer’s clinic. As a sidenote, Coach told us that the format of this clinic is the format he will use on potential recruits!!! Good job Coach!!
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